MaryAnnisms

Driving Lessons 2: Every Start Has A Stop

2012-02-09T08:17:00.000+04:00

What is it about death that frightens many among us? It is the final destination; death is. So even if we know for certain that death is coming, still many of us do not want to reach that destination just yet. There is this Latin phrase: “deficit omne quod nasciture” meaning, ‘Everything that is born, passes away,’ that I’m always reminded of whenever I think about death.

It is the same when you start your car to go on a trip, be it a short or a long journey, every engine start-up must come to an end. Often you find yourself driving with family or friends, people who take the journey with you from and up to a certain point. Sometimes you find yourself driving alone.

In life, like driving you hit traffic signals telling you to stop. Pause a while to consider your journey so far. Take a break from all that driving (or living) and just chill. Even take a break from people who may have taxed us so much, exhausted our capacity to understand and tested our patience and goodwill.

We also reach crossroads which often we are unsure which turn will reap the best rewards. Then there are the milestones; kilometer marks, distance indicators telling us what we have so far attained. These we pass by, yes just pass by for we never really stop in each one or if we do, we never really linger because the journey continues.

There are many road signs in the road of life. They warn us about bad things that could happen. It could be a parent giving advice, a friend with a gut feeling, even our own bodies, telling us of illnesses to come. Sometimes we take heed, slow down and stay alert. Although often we disregard them and blaze on uncaring if we hurt ourselves in the process.

On the road, as in life we get the feeling that somehow we missed a turn or got lost along the way. It is better to get lost with someone than being lost all by yourself. A haunting lyric from an Air Supply song asks, “When you’re lost, where do you begin?” and lets one ponder the next best step to self discovery or simply finding the right direction to seek help.

Even finding the right one can be gleaned from a bit of driving 101. Was that stop you didn’t take the point where you could have met Mr. or Miss Right? Should you have heeded the sign to slow down instead of entering into such a commitment? Sadly, life like driving does not always have a reverse or rewind button. Yes you can probably manage a short reversal on the road but the path you have trodden had already been trod. The words you have spoken had been said. Your actions whether for good or bad have been done. The die is cast. What remains is the road ahead.

You do not stop driving just because someone got off or there’s this huge accident on the road. You even do not give up not when your car had ran out of gas or gotten a flat tire. You find a way to fix the problem and drive on. Life goes on.

So as I start my engine this morning to drive my daughter to school and me to work, I think about the road ahead later today: the way home; where my husband will be too later tonight. So long as there is a home to go to, I shall not give up on driving and discovering new places nor will I stop living my life. No, I do not fear death but for now that is not yet my destination for I am homeward bound.

Driving Lessons 1: Seeing the Bigger Picture

2012-01-24T08:42:00.000+04:00

Often we find fault or blame the driver in front of us on the general traffic condition. How many times have we caught ourselves saying, “Oh why is he going so slow?” of the driver ahead who seems to be on a sightseeing tour rather than rushing his way to the office like us who are now running late? Many times we may even say, “Dumb guy” or “Stupid driver” if the car before us suddenly stops when the traffic is clearly on go; or simply how he seems to be going backwards instead of forwards. Surprisingly enough, when we let our vision include the other motorists, we find that often it is not even the guy in front of us who is at fault and realize the cause for him slowing down or suddenly stopping.

In life, we often blame those who are directly connected to us for the many faults and wrongs that we see or experience in our lives. My husband’s not as ambitious or driven, my son doesn’t seem motivated, my mother is too critical of everyone; my best friend seems to be avoiding me. On and on our personal diatribes go as we find our nearest and dearest to blame. Yet if we only take time to see clearly, we may discover that hubby may be working as hard but opportunities may not be available for advancement in his current workplace, son may be going through self discovery phase and is more concerned with self than school and needs guidance, mother is only concerned that everyone is doing well and best friend is going through a personal crisis that we should help rather than feel alienated.

Interestingly, it is when we change lanes that we see the bigger picture of what’s going on ahead. Perhaps in life, it is not bad to change points of view once in a while to see other versions and arguments and possibilities. I’d like to think that I’m fairly open-minded and do play devil’s advocate to myself once in a while, just to see how the other sides feel or think or react. And it can be applied to anything. How would my son or daughter feel like if I told them to do this? What would my husband say to this? If I were my mother, how would I feel if I did this? Would my best friend mind if I told her this?

Who we are can be reflected in how we deal with those around us. A driver who always consider other drivers as dumb or stupid by the way they drive and never once thought about how he himself is driving is a classic example of the egoistic person who finds fault in everything and everyone but himself – the center of the universe. This guy would cut you off the road and smirk that he got away with it smugly but would be the first to honk and get upset when someone else cuts him. He would be the one who’ll change lanes, not to see what’s going on up ahead but to merely get ahead of everyone else. He’s be the one who’ll speed up when you are signaling to change lanes so that he goes ahead of you instead of letting you pass. Sadly, many people are like this driver in life and on the road.

But we can change. We can get better.

So next time you feel like cursing the guy in front of you for being too slow or when you feel the need to honk that horn, try to see the bigger picture first. Put yourself in the shoes of that person before you make your judgment. Try a different point of view and see how it suits you. Perhaps the solution is found within. Perhaps it’s time for you to do some self evaluation on how you drive be it on the road or in life.

Caught Between the Snores and Drools

2011-12-28T14:51:00.003+04:00

I'd like to find something negative or bad and turn it into something positive. This way, I'd like to end 2011 and begin 2012 in a positive note, so here goes...

My husband works in another city two hours away by car so we only get to see him on weekends. During the weekdays, I sleep with my nine year old daughter who, having asthma has learned to breathe on her mouth at times and even during sleep thus the drool. I am used to sleeping with damp, smelly pillows and though I am at times annoyed by it, I love the chance to still sleep with my little girl until she may be old enough to find it almost an embarrassment to sleep with a parent. I treasure these moments.

On weekends, my daughter goes to sleep in her own room, drooling on her own pillows while I get to sleep with hubby and get the snores! Hubby does not just snore he has variations that can be considered for awards in best sound effects! There is the motorcycle – a snore that starts like a motorbike kicking into gear, runs a few miles then hits some speed bump and stops, abruptly then starts again – amazingly enough he sleeps through the entire journey. Then there is the kettle; a slow churning that hits a mighty boil then simmers until the entire process begins anew. I feel like being in a witch’s kitchen, beside a cauldron of bubbling froth that is my husband. Finally there is the old geezer. It starts like an asthmatic old man on the brink of death, and then builds into a whizzing fit that anti-climaxes into a snort-like sound of an offended pig having been chastised by its master. Being a light sleeper, the weekends are torture to me to say the least. I’d often get up and tire my eyes away on Facebook or reading until exhausted I could no longer care about the noisy sleeper beside me.

Lately though I find the “noise” comforting. As we grow older, I realize I should be thankful for the snores. They are proof that my husband is alive and well and will still be with me when I wake up. In fact, I have even woken up to sounds of silence, where I panic and touch my husband, making sure he still breathes. When certain of his life, I thankfully sigh and go back to sleep and just when I’m at brink of really falling into deeper slumber, the snores start, mocking me and assuring me at the same time. Likewise I’ve woken to annoyingly damp pillows which I just overturn and ignore until the next day. You can imagine our laundry and how often pillows and pillowcases get changed in our household. I feel like a hotel chambermaid at times, feeling oppressed by inconsiderate guests.

However, caught between the drooler and the snorer I am indeed happy and thankful. I despise the drool but love the drooler. I abhor the snores but cherish the snorer. I do snore myself and on occasion may have drooled so there, no one is perfect. Damp pillows and noise-induced sleepless nights are welcome signs that my little girl and husband are beside me and I am more than happy. I am content. Everything else, as they say, is icing on the cake.

Beautiful Me Is But Skin-Deep

2010-12-22T09:51:00.003+04:00

OK the Season is upon us again and while we make the most of Christmas in the desert it is also the time to take stock of the entire year and prepare for the new one. I've been thinking, procrastinating really, about how everything can now be bought in a nice little bottle or obtained via pain-free (or so they say) and non-invasive, clinical procedures. Take botox treatments and skin whitening solutions, fat removal and wrinkle free injections...the list goes on and on. But while we toil and work to afford these new luxuries brough about by new scientific discoveries, shouldn't we really be more concerned about building a better world instead of a better-looking one?

To no one in particular, I ask, "What's the point of a beautiful you, fairer skin and youthful glow and all when deep down you're a dried-up, self-centered, egotistic and sorry little person who cares more for appearances rather than substance?" Your friends all probably look a great a you do, have all the fancy gadgets that you all use, go to all the glitzy places the rich and famous hang out in...and yet, where it counts, you are still as lonely and craving for all that attention (probably why you went for all those bodily augmentations in the first place!).

The thousands you spend could have been put to better use had you donated it to orphaned children or help those who need medical treatments but cannot afford them. The joy in your heart would have made you glow and look immaculately beautiful from within and think about the lives you've touched and changed.

To the many who are always on the lookout for the fountain of youth, delaying the inevitable, stopping ageing and slowly turning into wax sculptures like those famous ones at Madame Tussaud's...I ask this, "What's the point of delaying the inevitable?" Death comes to us all and rather than stop it like that stupid brothers in the Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, welcome it by leaving seeds of good deeds that will, according to Maximus in Gladiator, "echo through eternity."

What's the use of adding say 10 or 15 more years to your life making you reach the good 100 years old when you cannot even move without painkillers or fracturing a hip bone? You may look flawless and wrinkle free but how do you stop memory loss? What fun would it be living that long when all your friends and loved ones have all gone ahead? You'd feel like the repeater at school, left behind because they didn't pass the grade. It's a cycle. It begins and it ends. Simple. Get that through your botox-treated forehead!

And what is wrong with a few wrinkles anyway. Those magazine models get Photoshop-ed so they look the way they do. Wrinkles are life's badges, you wear them proudly to show a really happy moment or one of the saddest memory you have that has changed you forever. They are the manifestations of the many joys, laughters, tears and sorrows, the everyday worries you have had through your life. They do not make you look ugly, they make you look experienced. Full of wisdom and an elder who takes a high honour in what used to be simple societies. Now our elders wear the surprised, tightly-pulled faces of the obviously clinically altered, many cannot even smile geniunely at all. What's wrong with a wrinkled, round, huggable and lovable, ancient-looking (and wise!) grandma or gramps anyways?

No wonder our world is at the mess it's in today. Many of our adults have gone completely mental trying so hard to look good, stay young, stop death.

The son of God knew his death was coming the moment he was born. The reason for all that rejoicing was the fact that his death will save us all. And while tummy tucks and botox treatments and age-reversing agents weren't available way back then...his beauty continues to shine through up to now because he struggled for a better world and not a better-looking one.

How I wish they'd develop a pill that would make everyone good, amiable, kind and generous. Now that would have been the perfect Christmas present to families and friends. I'd definitely want and need one!

Survivor Philippines Celebrity Edition

2010-10-14T16:15:00.000+04:00

I've always been a fan of Survivor and have followed the first two Philippine editions and now the third is huge as it is the celebrities trying to outlive, outwit and outwit one another to survive. I've miss the first two episodes but have religiously followed the rest and I'm totally hooked!

I'm impressed with Mama Elma Muros and Solenn Heussaf and also Aira Bermudez. These three women are from different backgrounds but they have many things in common. They are the epitome of the modern Filipina: strong physically, beautiful inside and out, with infallible morality that they stand out from the rest.

The recent challenges, I've noticed that Jon who seems to be always spot on in knowing what to do has appeared to be "weakening" first forgetting to bring their tools to a challenge that clearly told them that they will have to dig for something.

Secondly is why did they let Aubrey sit out when she was the perfect person to do the "Walang Tulugan" reward challenge? Everyone knew Mama Elma sleeps early so why didn't they let her sit it out? At least Aira was honest to say she cannot handle it and was then allowed to sit out the challenge.

I think Mama Elma, Solenn and Aira should form an alliance. Mico should join them so their Survivor journey would be extended.

I like Akihiro, he's just too nice! I wonder if that's his strategy and we'll see the "dark side" later. But for now, he's the one I'd like to get stuck with in an island :)

Foreign relief for 'Ondoy' victims pours - Video - GMANews.TV - Official Website of GMA News and Public Affairs - Latest Philippine News

2009-11-19T09:33:00.000+04:00

Foreign relief for 'Ondoy' victims pours - Video - GMANews.TV - Official Website of GMA News and Public Affairs - Latest Philippine News

If you want to help typhoon victims in the Philippines, here's a list of orgs you can contact.

2009-09-29T16:35:00.000+04:00

List of People's Disaster Relief Centers for your donations and volunteers:

1. Citizens' Disaster Response Center (CDRC)

CDRC is is need of volunteers for the ongoing relief drive. You can go directly to their office at 72-A Times St., West Triangle Homes, QC., or call 9299820/22 for inquiries.

2. Bagong Alyansang Makabayan

Bayanihan Alay sa Sambayanan (BALSA) of BAYAN is calling for help for the victims of deadly floods. Please send in your relief goods (RTE foods, clothings, medicines, bottled water) & money to #1 Erythrina Bldg. Maaralin cor Matatag Sts. Bgy Central, Quezon City, tel. 4340624 and 09227852356. Other drop-off points and schedules of relief and clean-up operations will be announced soon.

Kodao Productions is also accepting donations for BALSA.

You can deposit thru METROBANK:

Peso Account
Account Number: 007636020520
Account Name: KODAO PRODUCTIONS ORGANIZATION, INC.
Branch and Telephone No.: Examiner – Quezon Avenue (02) 3737340

Dollar Account
Account Number: 636-2-63600299-7
Account Name: KODAO PRODUCTION
Branch and Telephone No.: Examiner – Quezon Avenue (02) 3737340

3. Computer Professionals Union

All proceeds will go directly to CDRC.

Account Type: CHECKING ACCOUNT
Bank Name: BANCO DE ORO
Bank Branch: Anonas-Kamias
Account Number: 003988006344
Account Name: CP-Union.Org Inc
tel no: +63 4134196

For Check donations: Checks should be issued to CP-Union.Org Inc. Please drop the check payments at 4F Victoria Building 1, 1670 Quezon Avenue, South Triangle, Quezon City. For willing volunteers, please contact Leon at +63915 869 6474.

CPU interns, volunteers and members are enjoined to support our team's effort to help typhoon ondoy's victims through CDRC's relief drive. Visit http://www.cp-union.com/ondoy-relief Please coordinate with Leon (09158696474 or +63 2 4134196)

4. Kabataan Partylist and TxtPower

Donations can also be sent to Kabataan Partylist Headquarters, 118-B Sct. Rallos QC. For more information please contact 09266677163 or kabataanpartylist@gmail.com.

TXTPower and Kabataan Partylist urges its members, supporters and friends abroad to make donations via Paypal. You may also donate via SmartMoney (5577-5144-1866-7103) or GCash 09266677163 or 0917-9751092. All donations coursed through the hotlines will be sent to the Philippine National Red Cross.

5. Bayan Muna Partylist

Bayan Muna cancelled 10th anniversary celebration due Sept 30. Rechanelled all efforts to relief and rescue operations Metro wide.

Volunteer, donate relief goods and material/financial support for those affected by Typhoon Ondoy. Bayan Muna Partylist relief drive ongoing. Goods & donations are accepted at the Bayan Muna National Headquarters at #45 K-7th St., Brgy. West Kamias, Quezon City or call 921-3473.

6. Migrante International (Philippines Chapter)

Migrante is calling the attention of our fellow kababayans abroad and also their families here in the Philippines who can donate goods and/or financial assistance for the victims of typhoon Ondoy.All donations are accepted at the Migrante International head office at #63 Narra St., Brgy.Claro, Project 3, QC. Or may call at 4210768 and hotline no: 09212709079. Or may email your inquiries at migrantecampaign@gmail.com.

7. Gabriela Women's Partylist

Relief Drive of the Office of Rep.Liza Maza at Brgy. Bagong Silangan will start at (Sept 28) 5pm today. You may continue sending your donations at GWP HQ, 118 Scout Rallos, Bgy.Sacred Heart, Quezon City or call 929-5342.

Bayanihan ng Masa: CALL FOR RELIEF GOODS AND CASH DONATIONS FOR VICTIMS OF TYPHOON ONDOY For cash/check donations please deposit to: Philippine Peso Current Account: c/o Rep. Liza Maza, Land Bank of the Philippines, Batasan Branch, Quezon City Current Account # 3125-0054-61

8. Polytechnic University of the Philippines

PUP SKM Office, 2nd Flr. Charlie del Rosario Student Center

9. University of the Philippines

College of Mass Communications
For inquiries and details, contact, Gina, Dean's office, 928-3188.

College of Social Work and Community Development
Txt 0906-3504141 at 0939-3707556 (via Sinagbayan)

UP Diliman USC Office, Vinzons Hall

10. Kadamay

Urban poor group KADAMAY accepts donations of relief goods at 12-A Kasiyahan St, Bgy Holy Spirit, Commonwealth, QC Tel 4274315

11. Salinlahi / Children's Rehabilitation Center

Relief goods and materials may be dropped off in CRC office, #90 J. Bugallon, Barangay Bagumbuhay, Project 4, Quezon City. You can contact us at (+632) 913-9244 or 439-1053 and look for Malou or Sarah. For financial donations, you can deposit at:

Account name: Children’s Rehabilitation Center
Bank name: Bank of the Philippine Island – Kamias-Anonas Branch
Account number: SA 3323-2050-85

Please notify us of your deposit for your official receipt.

12. KARAPATAN Alliance for the Advancement of People’s Rights

Please send in whatever contribution that you can. Karapatan is now accepting donations.

You may drop off your donations of relief goods at:
No. 1 Maaralin corner Matatag Sts., Bgy. Central, Quezon City, 1100 Philippines.
You may reach us at telephone numbers: (+63 2) 435-4146 or 434-2837

For cash contributions, please e-mail admin@karapatan.org for details.

13. Confederation for Unity, Recognition and Advancement of Government Employees (COURAGE) in cooperation with COURAGE PARTY LIST

We are asking our member-unions, friends and fellow public servants to donate food (rice, noodles, canned goods etc..), clothing, bottled mineral water, mats/beddings and medicines (for colds, coughs, fever, flu and antibiotics). Please send your support to COURAGE Party list National Headquarters at # 9B, KF Street, Kamuning, Quezon City or you may call their hotline at 4113965.

Cash /check donations are also welcome. You may deposit them at COURAGE BPI account number 3043-5929-62.

We are also calling all able-bodied individuals to volunteer their help in our campaign.
For further details, please call us at telephone numbers 9262235 (COURAGE) or 4113965 (CPL).

14. Samahang Operasyong Sagip - Council for Health and Development

Samahang Operasyon Sagip is a disaster response body convened by Council for Health and Development, Health Alliance for Democracy, Alliance of Health Workers, Community Medicine Development Foundation and Health Students' Action. These are health organizations based in Metro Manila.

Please send your donations to the victims of typhoon Ondoy through the Council for Health and Development which holds office at #35 Examiner Street, West Triangle, Quezon City with tel nos. 929-8109 or email chdmancom@yahoo.com

For your donations, please contact us at the address above or send it through the following bank accounts:

Philippine National Bank Savings Account # 219-8303219

Bank of Philippine Islands US $ account # 314 00 5391 with the swift code BPIPHMM

15. Task Force Obrero

The Task Force Obrero, of which KMU is a member, will be conducting relief operations and medical missions in the next few days. It is also part of the “Bayanihan Alay sa Sambayanan”, a disaster relief efforts of multi-sectoral groups spearheaded by Bagong Alyansang Makabayan (BAYAN). We are urgently in need of medicines, old clothes, mats, blankets, canned goods and other relief goods.

Financial donations can be sent to the Task Force Obrero Philippine Peso Account:

Account Number: 20-029-006840-5
Name of Bank: Banco Filipino
Bank Address: Kamias Branch, Quezon City
Account Holder: Noel Colina and/or Priscilla Ang-Maniquiz

Or thru Western Union or Xoom Payment:

Ms. Priscilla Ang-Maniquiz
Balai Obrero Foundation
63 Narra St., Proj. 3, Quezon City, Philippines
Telephone Number: (632) 421-0986

Material assistance can be sent to:
KMU
63 Narra St., Proj. 3, Quezon City, Philippines
Telephone Number: (632) 421-0986

You may also reach us at kilusangmayouno@gmail.com for questions and pertinent information.

International

1. USA

BAYAN-USA

We are making this appeal for financial support as the current administration is woefully unprepared and unable to help the hundreds of thousands of our compatriots and friends. BALSA will be coordinating efforts to distribute food, medicines, clothing and other basic necessities to help the people through this crisis. Because BALSA is firmly linked with the masses, aid will directly go towards the basic sectors of society – the workers, peasants and the urban poor who make up the majority of the victims (despite media attention that “the poor and rich are equally impacted”).

Donate Online via Paypal

Or, donations can be directly deposited into the following account:

Bank: Chase
Account Name: BAYAN-USA
Account Number: 340-209749-3

Thank you for your support.

If you have any questions, please do not hesitate to contact Rhonda Ramiro, Secretary General of BAYAN-USA at secgen@bayanussa.org, or Jeff Rice, Finance Officer of BAYAN-USA at finance@bayanusa.org.

Various Drop-off centers

New York

NAFCON (Nat’l Alliance for Filipino Concerns)/SANDIWA Nat’l Alliance of Fil-Am Youth are now receiving relief donations (clothes, blankets, medical supplies, monetary). NY drop-off @ BAYANIHAN Filipino Community Center, 40-21 69th St. Woodside, NY 11377. Call (516)901-1832 or email sandiwa.national@gmail.com if you would like to help.

New Jersey

Drop-Off Points:
1) Sinugba Cafe – 561 Westside Ave. Jersey City, NJ 07304
2) Casa Victoria – 691 Newark Ave. Jersey City, NJ 07306-2803 You can send CASH through Metro Bank acct. 3 189 14540 1 For BAYAN’s “BALSA” (Bayanihan Alay sa Sambayanan)

For donations in New Jersey please contact:
(201)621-3156-Yves Nibungco
(917)476-7855- Nick Cordero

Los Angeles

In Los Angeles area please contact Kuu Hilo (818)395-9207. You can send CASH through Metro Bank acct. 3 189 14540 1 For BAYAN’s “BALSA” (Bayanihan Alay sa Sambayanan)

San Francisco/Bay Area

For donations in San Francisco/Bay Area, please contact Ryan Leano (626)534-4971. Monetary donations can also be dropped off at these sites. Checks can be made out to “Lakasdiwa,” a non-profit organization that will send the funds directly to MIGRANTE International in the Philippines, a workers’ organization directly helping the victims in the disaster relief efforts. Please put “Typhoon Ondoy Relief” on the check’s note.

Filipino Community Center
4681 Mission Street
San Francisco, CA 94112

Liwanag Kultural Center
Hillside Park Clubhouse
222 Lausanne Ave.
Daly City, CA 94014
Mondays 3:30-6:00
Tuesdays 3:30-6:00
Wednesdays 3:30-8:00
Thursdays 3:30-6:00

Asian Pacific Islander Youth Promoting Advocacy & Leadership
Attn: Armael Malinis, AnakBayan-East Bay
310 8th Street, Suite 215
Oakland, CA 94710

Stanford’s Pilipino American Student Union (PASU) is also collecting donations to be sent to the Philippines to help victims of Typhoon Ondoy (international name Ketsana). If you would like to make a donation, please contact AV David at avhdavid@stanford.edu or (650) 491-4561.

Jacque Bermejo airs her side

2009-09-29T16:33:00.002+04:00

After a almost a week of being hated, lambasted and insulted in the online community, Jacque - the real one - finally makes her voice heard via a public letter airing her side of the story.

Please read below:
===========================
Dear All,

Please read below the official statement from Ms. Jacqueline Bermejo, regarding the controversial post which had circulated in various social networking sites which in turn resulted to a hate campaign against her:

"I am issuing this statement to clear my name in the current controversy in which I allegedly posted a highly insensitive and offensive message on the social networking website, Facebook, in relation to the victims of typhoon Ondoy that recently struck parts of the Philippines.

About two years ago, an anonymous source created these accounts using my identity, posting my personal details, my real pictures captioned roughly and attacking other people. Because of these incidents, I reported such abuses and sent my credentials to the administrators of such sites, particularly Facebook. I have been abused and am still being abused online in social networking websites such as Facebook, Friendster, Multiply etc.

In the early stages, I was advised by close friends to ignore the situation, saying this would simply go away. Unfortunately, it has not stopped. Hence, I filed a complaint with the Dubai Police about eight months ago hoping they could help me with my problem. Should anyone wish to check my statement, my case is still under investigation with said authorities.

Time passed and these sites continued to generate malicious, obscene and cruel messages that are widely exposed and relayed to the public under my name.

Yesterday, September 27th 2009, I received phone calls from my close friends regarding very alarming posts in the above mentioned websites that directly offended flood victims as a result of typhoon Ondoy..

These malicious statement(s) which are posted under account names Jacque or Jackie are not of my doing. It is unfortunate that such statements were maliciously attributed to me andI do sympathize and understand the adverse and somehow verbally violent reaction that has been elicited by such insensitive statements or posts. Rest assured, I have taken every legal step that can be done in this regard.

I too, have become a victim as much as those who may have lost their lives and properties to such a devastating natural calamity. This recent controversy has greatly affected my reputation, my family, and my friends. I am devastated and shocked at the extent my character, my personal information and private space have been violated.

I have a deep respect and regard for my country. I am proud to be a Filipino and would never say or do anything to harm the interest of my country or countrymen. I have also had the privilege of participating in civic-oriented activities in Dubai, particularly in trying to help my fellow countrymen seek employment during the height of mass layoffs brought about by the ongoing global financial crisis, as well as those seeking employment for the first time. Making a mockery of any unfortunate incidents befalling any of my fellow Filipinos is simply contrary to my character. I condemn the person or persons behind these malicious acts to impute damage on my integrity and I hope that you can dig deep into your hearts and minds to truly find the truth in all these.

Jacqueline Bermejo"

====================
Please let us stop the mud-slinging and instead focus our energies into helping our country and countrymen in need.

It's nice to blog after eons of years!

2009-06-24T23:07:00.003+04:00

It's mid-year and I have one blog to show for in 2009. Ok shoot me. The year has come and is almost getting towards its curtain call and I have had so many things on my mind, so much in fact that I don't even know where to start and whether I should just forget about it and not send it off to the black hole that is the world wide web. A few french fries and lots of mayo-chup (mayonaise mixed with ketchup to dip oily fries in)later, I found my oily and still potato and oild smelling fingers on my desktop PC, opening my Blogger account and viola, here we are!

So what to share with you, oh 34 inches of glowing, hot, monitor as you stare back each letter that I type?

First is that I celebrated Father's Day realising that I have no more dad, save for my father-in-law of course. My biological father died in 1987 and my adopted father passed on in 2005 and yet it took me another four years to realise that both are no longer with the living. It sent me into a bit of depression last weekend as I remember the man who made me and the man who nurtured me. I may have the genes of Tom (pronounced as Th-hom!) but surely I have many of Nonong's idiosyncracies: his tastes in books, films, even food. I may have been the product of the former but much in me has really been a creation of the latter. I miss having a father.

I may be old (oldER really!) but I would have wanted the wisdom of one who has gone down the road I am travelling with well-earned battle scars gained from the many challenges he has taken on and surpassed in life. Raising kids, moving homes, taking a new job, starting a business, resolving family conflicts, being strong for everyone if only for show. And yet taking each day like a plain, white canvas, ready for whatever design or pattern it will contain; singing along with Frank Sinatra or Tom Jones for the nth time like he is memorising the songs for a show; driving, just driving to discover what lies beyond the comfortable boundaries that we know and delve into the unknown.

I used to resent my fathers. I looked down on one for the life he chose and for abandoning his responsibilities of parenthood on me and my siblings. I resented the other for not being my real father and yet disciplining me (sometimes punishing me - getting grounded, getting a lengthy sermon, etc.) like I was his own child.

If Tom didn't leave, I wouldn't have Nonong for a dad. Would Tom had been a better father than Nonong? Would I have turned up the way I am today if fate had other plans aside from what passed?

I look at my husband and smile as I realise he is turning into his own father. I have fear, for my daughter and my husband's personalities are quite strong contrasts yet they share a fiery temperament that could only spell disaster, if not a 'telenovela-like' dramatic and explosive confrontations loom in the not so distant horizon. But I also have a sense of hope, my silver lining that my husband will be a good and caring father to my daughter no matter what. He will not do a Tom but would be more a Nonong or well, as my father-in-law is closely named, my husband will be a Nonoy (trust Filipinos with their funny names!).

It is not often that I stop and think about my fathers. But when I do, my computer screen suddenly looks hazy and I grab a wad of tissues to clear my snot-filled nose. I do so miss having a father, especially round Father's Day. To Tom and Nonong, wherever you guys are...I love you and will forever miss you in my heart.

Bye Kiko

2009-03-09T15:47:00.003+04:00

Affected

I don't know why I find any affinity for Francis Magalona - maybe it's because he's such a great looking guy, or maybe because my eldest brother named my eldest nephew after him, or maybe because he is Negrense like my family, or he is a Skeptron like my husband - but whatever the reason, I really felt a great loss when I learned of his death last Friday. I was hooked on Eat Bulaga listening for tidbits of news about him, watching the tributes to him by the Dabarkads last Saturday, up to StarTalk and the next day at Showbiz Central.

It is truly sad. A big loss. I am still in denial and have spent my weekend and our extra holiday (Prophet's birthday) listening to his songs; introducing him (songs) to my six year old daughter (although Amber knows of him, but not his many songs); keeping him alive in my memory - if only for a while...until the mundane and trivial takes over again.

Goodbye Francis M. Rest in peace.
----

Master Rapper

I consider Kaleidoscope as one of my fave songs. I still sing it in the shower (sheepish grin) and whenever I watch something colourful in the sky...also when I am literally looking into a kaleidoscope.

As for his many rap creations, Ito ang Gusto Ko still rings true for me. Here's the lyrics to the song/rap:

Ito Ang Gusto Ko!
Francis “Kiko” Magalona

(Bring the noise!)

Mabuhay ng maayos at lubos
Magbigay sa kapwa magmahal ng taos
Gusto kong tikman ang sarap ng buhay
Hawakan ang bukas sa aking mga kamay

Makita ang (Alin?)
Makita ang (Alin?)
Makita ang liwanag sa gitna ng dilim
Ayoko sa dilim nagdidilim ang paningin
Ang kalayaan inaasam ay ibigay mo na sa akin

Mabuhay (ng tunay)
Makulay (ang buhay)
Ang luha ay ialay sa mga buhay na hinalay
Ang buhay natin di kayang hamakin
Ipagtanggol ang karapatan natin

Katarungan (ito ang gusto ko)
Kalayaan (ito ang gusto ko)
Kapayapaan (ito ang gusto ko)
Karapatang pantao (ito ang gusto ko)

Kalikasan (ito ang gusto ko)
Kabataan (ito ang gusto ko)
Kaibigan (ito ang gusto ko)
Sa buhay kong ito, ito ang gusto ko

Gusto kong lasapin ang tamis ng panahon
Maniwalang mahihigitan ko pa ang kahapon
Ayokong mawalan ng pag-asa
Gusto ko ng masasayang alala

Sama-sama, Sari-sari
Sabay-sabay
Sabay sumasakay sa gulong ng buhay
Mapaitaas o mapailalim
Ang tao’y natitisod pag tumakbo ng matulin

Relaks ka lang at huwag kumilos ng madalos
Kumilos ng maayos at umiwas ka sa galos
Iisa lamang ang ating katauhan
Bigyang kahulugan ang kasalukuyan

Karangalan (ito ang gusto ko)
Kalusugan (ito ang gusto ko)
Kabutihan (ito ang gusto ko)
Sa buhay kong ito

Kagitingan (ito ang gusto ko)
Kasipagan (ito ang gusto ko)
Kapatiran (ito ang gusto ko)
Sa buhay kong ito, ito ang gusto ko!

Bring the noise!
Yeah-yeah
Wo-oh-wooh

Katarungan (ito ang gusto ko)
Kalayaan (ito ang gusto ko)
Kapayapaan (ito ang gusto ko)
Karapatang pantao (ito ang gusto ko)

Kalikasan (ito ang gusto ko)
Kabataan (ito ang gusto ko)
Kaibigan (ito ang gusto ko)
Sa buhay kong ito, ito ang gusto ko

Karangalan (ito ang gusto ko)
Kalusugan (ito ang gusto ko)
Kabutihan (ito ang gusto ko)
Sa buhay kong ito, ito ang gusto ko

Kagitingan (ito ang gusto ko)
Kasipagan (ito ang gusto ko)
Kapatiran (ito ang gusto ko)
Sa buhay kong ito, ito ang gusto ko

You can also listen to the song via imeem on this link.

Christmas Musings

2008-12-23T10:08:00.001+04:00

A week before Christmas and I’ve got all the presents wrapped under the tree. Being a bit OC (obsessive-compulsive), this is already quite late for me, having had in the past, presents wrapped as early as July (believe you me!), but it’s not that big a deal anymore.

I used to like my stuff so orderly: white shirts in one shelf, black shirts in another and every clothing hung in their color group. This included socks too; classified in lengths as well as colors. My dresser was not only symmetrical but a Geometry teacher can find everything is perpendicular and trigonometrically in tangent with each item on the table. Our living room used to be Good Housekeeping-ly clean and chic with scented candles and unique bric-a-bracs tastefully positioned here and there for accents. My kitchen had been spotless and so was my bathroom; having had only Oliver to clean up after and he wasn’t that messy save for the cigarette ashes and butts on overflowing ashtrays and used clothes left from where they were last stripped off. I had been quite proud to show off our home to friends and family, as it took a few minutes of fluffing the throw pillows, lighting a soothing scented candle or oil on a ceramic burner and voila, cozy and everything in its place, inviting and all in harmony.

However, all that had changed and on hindsight, I guess it has for the better. Since becoming a mother, I have learned to let go of so many things, I think I have grown in leaps and bounds as a person and a woman I’m trying to become. For one, I don’t balk at a huge pile of laundry to be done when I used to be so panicky when the laundry basket is full and start washing everything on sight. Unwashed dishes no longer bother me and well, I’ve given most of my home décor knick-knacks to family and friends who would want them. Spending time with Amber before she is too old to tag along with mom is my priority and even if we bicker, and at six man can she bicker, or argue or even have our mother-daughter fights, we enjoy one another as best we can.

My inner OC screams and pulls her hair whenever my little munchkin does some oil painting or uses pastel crayons to doodle and draw then wipes her colorful hands on her very white shirt. The control-freak in me wants to dust and vacuum and scrub the entire household as my daughter skates or scooters all over with a cookie in one hand and really sticky and grimy fingers from whatever it was she had been doing a while before. My hidden anal-retentive personality tsk-tsks at how my kitchen table now looks with breadcrumbs, spots of orange juice and peanut butter goo on the cookie jar cover. Yet I stop myself, count to ten, breathe, and make a deep sigh relinquishing control and order for love and fun and motherhood. I see how she laughs and smiles and enjoys herself and I tell my inner selves to keep quiet and save it for when she’s a bit older – the lectures and reprimands – when she too would eventually fall into the order and routine that is part and parcel of our adult existence. For now, we’ll make play dough and run like silly, blow bubbles and wrestle, walk barefooted and eat with our hands sucking the sweetness of each moment off every chocolate covered finger. Because I know, I may not have this chance later.

As I prepare for Christmas Eve’s Noche Buena and Christmas Day, I look around at a home that has my daughter’s crayons on our living room’s center table, a lonesome sock on the sofa and her favorite toys on the floor. There are storybooks in the kitchen, a mermaid Barbie on the sink and a discarded school uniform on my bed. Amber is in her room, cutting up colorful paper to make snowflakes and as the mess grows, I look at her and see how she is developing her creativity. She happily chats with Fulgosi, her favorite stuffed pet dog, assuring the inanimate toy that surely Santa will give him a gift too because he’s been such a good doggie and all, and I stop myself from telling her off, wanting to bottle this warm feeling that makes my eyes water for as long as I can remember. She stops me from my mental meanderings as she shows me a red snowflake (well it looked nothing like a snowflake more like and amoeba with holes, really) and says, “Mommy this is my gift to you for being the best mommy in the world.” How can you beat that? She shows a green one meant for her dad and a little pink one for herself.

We hung the amoebas posing like snowflakes on the Christmas tree and make some cheesy cheese sandwiches for snacks (Cheese Whiz spread and mozzarella cheese on toasted bread) whilst singing “We Three Kings”, a carol she will sing in the children’s choir at church. I taught her the version I learned in college and she laughed at that too.

Since Amber, Christmas has had a new meaning and my id has truly gone furthest behind my other selves as I realize how much I have changed and grown in the past six years. I’ve learned to take each moment for what it is and let go of many material things in my life. I’ve truly learned to make someone else’s needs take precedence over mine. I have accepted the many changes in my time, priorities and habits and appreciate that sometimes it is good not to have any routine! I am more truthful, humbler, and forgiving, trying to set some form of example for my growing child, keen to practice what I preach and not come out as fake or contrived. My patience is now longer than China’s Great Wall and so is my joy, deeper than Marianas Trench and higher than Mt. Everest (or is it Mauna Kea?). Indeed being a mother especially of an inquisitive and precocious 6-year old sends you spinning in a frenzy of emotions and thoughts that keeps you wanting to blog about them but due to many other things keeps you from blogging anyways. Note my last blog was August this year…imagine that! Nevertheless, I try and so before the year ends I share some lines (a bit lengthy!) on what I am thinking and how I am nowadays.

It’s oft said that people never change…well, there is hope.

August 12 (Happy Birthday Marian, Kyle...!)

2008-08-13T01:02:00.003+04:00

August 12 seems to be a lot of people's birthday. First there's Thomas Edison’s phonograph model that got completed on this date in 1877, as historical data would tell us.

In Philippine showbiz, there is birthday celebrant Aga Muhlach who was the 80's "crush ng bayan". I wonder how old he is now, probably in his late 30s or maybe even early 40s.

Then there's my step-son Justine Kyle Amador Eliserio, now Guillory, who turns 13 this year and will celebrate his birthday this coming Thursday in Abu Dhabi. Amber's been bugging me the whole day to call his half-brother so she can greet him and talk to him but the day just wore on and we managed to send him an SMS greeting at around 7 in the evening. Hope you have a great year "kuya" Kyle! We love you! “Hello Kyle! Praying too that your injuries from your recent accident are all better now. We enjoyed reading the messages in your cast but we had to increase the size of the photos to read them properly! Cool!”

Next is Alyssa Alano from StarTalk who got famous in YouTube because of her version of the song "Kiss Me". I didn't it was also her birthday if I didn't tune in this morning to the GMA Pinoy TV showbiz gossip/intrigue program. The joys of being home-bound a.k.a. on local leave!

But of course today is Marian Rivera's birthday and since Amber and I are staunch MarianKnights, we hope Marian comes across our page here in the World Wide Web to see our poem and greeting for her.

Happy Birthday Marian Rivera! Happy Birthday to all August 12th celebrants! May all your wishes come true and more...

Click the link for more information on August 12 .

Completely Bonkers for Marian Rivera

2008-02-21T11:53:00.004+04:00

OK, I must admit I'm not very fanatical by nature. Sure I follow certain norms and code and prefer several things over most others like many normal, sane and mentally sound people do but now in my mid-life crisis years, I have to admit that I have gone over to the other side of normal!

I have completely gone totally bonkers, stark-raving mad, fanatical for Marian Rivera. Yes, THE Marian Rivera of the Marimar, Philippine Edition fame. I blog about Marimar episodes. See my blogger site: http://www.pinoymarimar.blogspot.com/ which is mirrored in a similar blog site, http://www.marimaryann.wordpress.com/ to begin with.

Then lately, I have been hooked into YouTube, just to download current episodes of Marimar from the Philippines as the UAE is a week delayed. Then because they were also available, I have been viewing Marian Rivera or Marian and Dingdong (yes, he is indeed named Dingdong!) Dantes' videos or photo-montages by the megabytes per second!

Now I am addicted to the Marian Rivera dot Net forum! I like that I've been meeting new people and making new e-friends. The age scale is varied from 12 year olds to grannies and all these people like the same person as I do, yes...you'll see me key in her name again, just to show you how truly fanatical I've become: here goes....Marian Rivera.

My husband is at the brink of filing our divorce papers as every weekend, the only time we get to spend a few hours together, I'm multi-tasking between two computer screens, one is showing the latest Marimar episode and the other is logged into the Marian Rivera dot net forum.

My daughter cried when Tia Esperanza died. She gets upset when Angelika is mean to Cruzita and again felt really sad when Innocencia got murdered. She watches Marimar twice and joins me at night to watch the latest episodes online.

Last week was a breakthrough. When before I just watched people create these .gifs and images for Marian, I actually joined the bandwagon and made my first ever Marian-Dingdong tribute. A snagged poster from Forget Paris (Billy Crystal and Debra Wringer) gave me an idea for a spoof - with many wishing the Marimar-Sergio love affair be reflected into real life, an epiphany of sorts, with the help of Fireworks (Macromedia) - and I'm only a beginner at it - produced this abomination that I now share with you, visitors of my blog...but really, it is quite catchy, don't you agree?

I have nothing against Ana Karylle Padilla Tatlonghari who is Jose Sixto Gonzales Dantes' (aka Dingdong Dantes, and yes it is real...but this calls for another blog!) real life girlfriend but the Marian-Dingdong team does have that effect on many that you'd wish they end up together, have plenty of kids (sing dami ng talangka sa dagat as the Filipino Sergio would often tell Marimar), and go make lots of TV soaps and movies and live happily ever after.

So Marimar is ending in Manila on 14th of March and my husband is seeing this as the best birthdat present he will ever get, as by then I'd be over my addiction and life could return to normal....NOT!

You see, the 'power-that-be' at GMA decided this tandem is so hot, that they'd like to capitalise on it's rise to stardom and thus a new fantasy tele-serye (television series) will begin in April starring these two good-looking and romantically-convincing couple. Marian Rivera will play "Dyesebel" a mermaid created by Mars Ravelo and Dingdong will play the man who fell in love with her, Fredo. So my madness continues and so will my blogging. Watch this space as my lunacy continues to reach new heights.

Another threat to OCWs - Memorandum #4.

2008-02-11T10:46:00.000+04:00

I received from an e-mail brigade and news like this really do piss me off! Makes me want to go straight to Malacanang and lash out on the witless opportunistic blood suckers who want a bigger piece of the pie to eat for themselves....mga swapang na walang kaluluwa! Hala, read on and take action. We shouldn't just stand here and wait. The villians of this world wait for no one to do their evil deeds. Let's show them we can fight back too, in our own little way.

IF your answer is yes to one or more of the following questions, then this article is for you:
1. Were you affected by the Malu Fernandez controversy?
2. Do you know anyone who is an overseas Filipino worker? (OFW)
3. Do you have a relative who is an OFW?
4. Do you believe that many Filipinos are working abroad because of the lack of opportunities here in the Philippines?
5. Do you believe that OFWs help the Philippine economy?
6. Do you believe that the present administration is corrupt and there has to be some changes? 7. Are you an OFW, or an ex-OFW, or are you planning to become an OFW?

If you said yes to any of these, read on... Perhaps you've heard of the controversial memorandum (1) of the Philippine Overseas Employment Administration (POEA) regarding the Guidelines on the Direct Hiring of Filipino Workers.

Please allow me to explain to you why OFWs need your support against this memorandum. We really need your help! Please forward our plea for help to as many people as possible.

Who are the 'direct hire' OFWs?

There are two ways to get a job overseas. You can either go through an authorized recruitment agency in the Philippines or you can directly contact the employer. Obviously, those who can directly communicate with the foreign employer don't have to go through a recruitment agency and so the process is referred to as "direct-hire" and they are called "direct-hires."

OFWs who go through a recruitment agency usually have to pay their recruiter a placement fee and/or a commission. While those who are direct-hires sometimes take greater risks by staying in a foreign country (sometimes as tourists) and then by God's grace and through their contacts, they find work. Some direct-hires find work while still in the Philippines when the employer comes to the Philippines to screen applicants. Both ways of finding work have their own advantages and disadvantages, depending on the jobsite, employer, work, and the contract. (2)

There are those who say that it's important to go through a recruitment agency because they make sure that the employer is a good one. Recruitment agencies also look after you when you're already in your jobsite.

On the other hand, there are others who think that they can do away with recruitment agencies. They think they can deal directly with their employers and they can handle their own problems. And if not, they can always run to the Philippine embassies for help. That's why they're there, right?

If you were to choose between the two, which one do you prefer: Go through a recruitment agency or directly deal with the employer? There is another important thing that we should keep in mind when it comes to the definition of direct-hires.

Let's say an OFW who went through a recruitment agency in their first overseas job finishes their contract with their employer. If he/she decides to find another job overseas with another employer, he/she is now a "direct-hire."

Before Memorandum No. 4

Let's say, an employer in the Middle East needs to hire an engineer. A Filipino engineer, who has just finished his contract with another employer, applies for the job. He came highly recommended by his previous employer and so he was accepted in the job. His new employer offered him a salary of $1,000 a month. He was more than happy to take the job, especially because if he can't find work, he will be forced to go back to the Philippines. They signed the contract and the OFW starts working the next day. Simple, right? That's direct-hiring!

Enter Memorandum No.4!

Memorandum No.4 (Series of 2007) signed by POEA Administrator Rosalindo Dimapilos-Baldoz took effect on January 15, 2008. All employers, whether individuals or companies, must abide by the so-called "guidelines."

Let's go back to the story of our Filipino engineer. Now, according to this memorandum, he can't start working for his new employer. Not yet! First, his employer has to register with POEA. But there's no need to worry, because the process will not take longer than one month. One month! You mean to say that the Filipino engineer has to wait for a month before he can start working! That's okay, says POEA. I'm sure his family can wait for a month before he can send money for their food and utilities.

But there's more to it. There are more requirements that the employer has to submit. Here are the other requirements:

1. The employer must submit the following documents to POEA:
a) copies of their business registration, license, and identification paper
b) sample contracts for the OFW
c) proof that the OFW won't be charged a placement fee (hello? it's called "direct-hire")

2. Pay a "performance bond" equivalent to the worker's salary for three months. The performance bond will be used to guarantee compliance of the employer of the contract. So, the performance bond will serve as a penalty fee for the employer in case there's a breach of contract by the employer. It's not clear in the memorandum if this performance bond will be given in full to the direct-hire OFW. In the case of our OFW engineer, his employer has to pay $3,000 ($1,000 x 3 months) which is approximately P120,000. This sum is to be paid even before the OFW starts work. Wow!

3. Provide a "repatriation bond" in the amount of $5,000 or approximately P200,000. This money is to be used for the direct-hire's repatriation expenses in case the contract is terminated. Also, in case the OFW dies while overseas, this money is going to be used to bring the remains back to the Philippines.

I thought the government considers OFWs as our modern-day heroes. Then how come they can't even afford to bring back the remains of OFWs who die while working overseas. I thought this is why OFWs are required to pay their PhilHealth even though they're not in the Philippines.

4. And the last requirement to get the registration process started is the submission of a Medical Insurance Certificate Isn't it common practice that the application for medical insurance gets started as soon as the employee starts working? I think this is also true for companies in the Philippines. And isn't it true that it takes a while before the insurance company releases the medical insurance certificate. Sometimes, it even takes about three months before the document is released. Wow!

In other words If you were an employer looking for foreign workers, would you really go through the trouble of doing all the above requirements? Would you be willing to set aside $8,000 or approximately P320,000 so your Filipino employee can start working for you? I do admire our government's high regard for our OFWs. They really believe that employers will jump through hoops to get a Filipino worker. I really hope that employers will do all these things to get a Filipino worker.

But what if they don't? What if there are so many foreign workers in the global market these days that they can easily get workers from other countries whose governments don't have ridiculous requirements? What if they decide not to hire Filipino workers? Who is going to be directly affected by this? Who is going to suffer? Who is going to suffer? It's fairly obvious that our OFWs are the ones who will be badly affected by this memorandum and I am one of them.

Whether you are an engineer, teacher, domestic helper, nurse, doctor, or any other overseas employee, as long as you hold a Philippine passport and you have a job overseas, you will suffer because of this memorandum. If you don't lose your job now, you'll have trouble looking for a job later. Families who rely on remittances of their OFWs will also be badly hit by this memorandum. How can OFWs send money home if they don't have a source of income because they have no work? We all know that many OFWs have mouths to feed and siblings to help send to school.

Another victim of this memorandum will be our economy. OFWs brought in $15 billion to our economy in 2007.(3) This amount of money is not to be taken lightly. If you think that the call center industry is helping our economy, then multiply it by five times and it will match the amount of money brought in by OFWs.

And how will this affect small and big business companies in our country? Well, let's try to simplify it for everyone. Less employers mean less work for our OFWs. Less work means fewer OFWs. Fewer OFWs means less remittance. Less remittance means less "spending power" of Filipinos. Less spending power means less money for other things. People will only have money for their basic needs and commodities. Other businesses will close and there will be less jobs for the millions of Filipinos who are working in the Philippines. So they will start to look for work overseas but they won't be able to find any. All thanks to Rosalinda Baldoz's Memorandum Circular No.4.

So who's going to suffer from this memorandum? You! Me! Everyone!

What should we do? If you ask me, the first thing we should demand is the immediate resignation of Rosalinda Dimapilos-Baldoz, the POEA administrator who signed Memorandum Circular No.4. This memorandum is evidence that she doesn't understand the needs of OFWs and she does not deserve to be at the helm of POEA.

Our second demand should be the immediate revocation of Memorandum Circular No.4. We should all join the mass protest action. It's clear that we will all suffer because of this new policy on direct-hires. Don't hesitate to take it to the streets. That's the only way we can get their attention. Let's show them that we are serious in demanding for the resignation of Baldoz and the revocation of the memo.

If in case you can't join the mass protest action, here are other ways you can help this urgent cause:
1. E-mail your relatives, friends, and every one you know and ask them to join the protest. Forward the link to this post and other posts about this issue to your friends. There's also a Filipino version of this post.

2. Text all your contacts and ask them to support our protest.

3. Support the Senate inquiry of Senator Manny Villar (4). E-mail Senator Manny Villar at mb_villar@yahoo.com or go to his website, www.mannyvillar.com.ph

4. Support the Congress resolution of Representative Teddy Casino of Bayan Muna party-list (5)

5. Sign the online petition (6)

6. Blog and comment in blogs about Baldoz and her memorandum.

When Malu Fernandez spoke badly about the OFWs, we were quick to point out her wrongs and we succeeded. More than ever, our OFWs need your help. Please hear our plea. My friend, let's take action!

Let's demand for the resignation of Rosalinda Baldoz and for the revocation of Memorandum No.4!

Click here for the Filipino version of this post. ===

Notes:(1) POEA Memorandum Circular No.4 - Guidelines on the Direct Hiring of Filipino Workers

(2) Magandang ipalabas ng POEA ang kanilang statistics kung ilang OFW ang dumaan sa recruitment agency at ilan ang direct-hire.

(3) Top international economist says Philippine economy has to grow 14% to stop OFW exodus, Positive News Media, Jan 31, 2008

(4) $5K bond hinders Pinoys' search for better opportunities - Villar seeks Senate inquiry on new direct-hire guidelines

(5) Solon wants memo on OFW hiring scrapped, Feb 3, 2008, GMANews.TV

(6) Online Petition - Abolition of (POEA) Memorandum Circular No. 4

Marimar Episode 80, missed because of Eat Bulaga!

2007-12-12T14:24:00.000+04:00

Apologies to my blog readers. I am so behind at posting Marimar episode recaps as I had been in over my head with work. Also there have been so many holidays that I was unable to get my hands on an Internet connection to post my stuff.

Also, I missed the episode number 80 - yung umalis si Innocencia sa bahay ni Marimar because she got caught conniving with Sergio, sneaking Cruzita out to meet her father against Marimar's orders. Kasi, nasa Abu Dhabi kami - super pila and watched Eat Bulaga at the national theater - naku separate post on our ordeal/adventure. Watch this space!

If anyone can email me a copy of the episode, I'll create a blog on it - anne.eliserio@gmail.com

More Marimar recaps soon!

Marimar Episode 53

2007-11-11T08:47:00.000+04:00

Marimar Episode 53 - The one where Sergio Meets Bella

Bella greets Leonor warmly. Cruzita tells everyone that her mom is beautiful and she is beautiful like her mom. Marimar exclaims, "Well, that's my baby" and everyone is happy to welcome the new arrivals. They all go inside the house. Fulgoso arrives complete with studded leather paw bracelets and a new accent, "Hey Yo! Wazzup?" Inay Leonor exclaims, "Ang guwapo ni Fulgoso!"

Angelika arrives at Villa Santibanez and the staff welcome her at the main entrance. Monica kisses her friend and asks, "Kumusta ka na? Nagputa ka ba sa Statue of Liberty?" (How are you? Did you go to the Statue of Liberty?)

Angelika replies in her usual sharp tone, "Alam mo Monica, nakakatuwa ka talaga, kasi hanggang ngayon, tanga ka pa rin. Nasa New York and Statue of Liberty. Sa Paris ako galing!" (You know Monica, you are so amusing. Until now, you are such an idiot. The Statue of Liberty's in New York city, I came from Paris!)

Monica changes the subject and asks about Renato. Immediately Angelika's face turns somber.

Antonio is in the office chatting on the phone with someone. Sergio walks in and he cuts his conversation. Sergio teases him whether he'd been talking to Georgia. Antonio tells him Georgia is old news, this is another lady. Sergio couldn't quite believe how quickly his friend changes from one relationship to another and asks him whether he's serious or not. Antonio tells him he's just a single guy enjoying himself which is quite normal. Sergio cautions him to be careful, "Baka mapikot ka." (Get involved in a shot-gun wedding.) Antonio replies he is quite careful. He further suggests introducing Sergio to a couple of his model friends. Sergio reminds him that he's a married man. Antonio cuts him and tells him that he is aware that his friend is married, in fact he's been saying that for four years.

"Four years, four months, eight days..." Sergio sighs, obviously aware of how long it has been since he and Marimar had been apart.

Angelika is now in serious, woman-in-grave-suffering-mode and replies to everyone, "Parating na." He's coming. An ambulance arrives and Renato in a straight-jacket is escorted outside the van. He appears crazy telling the medics that he doesn't want to be there.

We see a new character in the story (Marvin Agustin). He seems suave, confident and successful as he arrives at a board meeting. The smooth-talker sits and waits along with the others for the arrival of Gustavo Aldama's heiress.

Renato is indeed crazy and Angelika instructs her staff to put him inside and give him his medication so he remains calm. She tells the crowd of staff and friends that Renato had been quite stressed when they left for Paris. It has gotten worse and now he is completely lunatic. She continues to emote that she has done everything she can for him, even consulted specialists in Paris. Nicandro comments, "Grabe naman ang nangyari. Kawawa naman pala si Sir Renato."

The slick board member appears to be getting impatient from waiting. He inquires, "Sino ba yang Bella Aldama na iyan? 2 p.m. na! Darating pa ba?" (Who is this Bella Aldama? It's two p.m.! Is she still coming?) Just then, Bella arrives. She immediately quites the board by telling them straight and particularly addressing the young maverick, "Kung nagmamadali kayong umalis, hindi ko kayo pipigilan. Bukas ang pinto para sa inyo. You may leave anytime you want." (If you want to leave, I cannot stop you. The door is open.) Despite the invitation, the young man indicates with a smile that he wants to stay.

Antonio is watching some staff fix a vehicle and does some improvised dance steps to amuse himself. Unknown to him, Sergio is looking from a distance and is laughing at his dance moves.

The young businessman inquires, "Ikaw ba ang anak ni Gustavo Aldama?" (Are you the daughter of Gustavo Aldama?)

"The one and only." Bella confirms. She also adds, "Naisip ko na limang taon din naman kayo naghintay kaya what's wrong with an hour di ba?" (I thought you've all waited for me for the last five years, so what's wrong with an hour, right?" Seeing no other protests from the group, she calls for them to begin, "Let's start the meeting."

Sergio is now laughing loudly and Arturo notices him. He tells his gay friend that one of the reasons he likes him is his way of making him laugh. Sergio admits that he is reminded of one other person who does that to him, make him laugh...one person who makes him truly happy. It's Marimar. She is full of innocence and her face shines with every possibilities open to the world.

In another part of Manila we see a different Marimar. She is stern and her face now has an authority and stiffness that wasn't there before. The group present their proposals to her and she knows that they want the matters presented to be resolved as quickly but she tells them she wants to go over everything first before she gives her approval.

Sergio is still reminiscing life with Marimar as Arturo patiently listens. The handsome racer shares how Marimar's face is so transparent. You'd instatly know when she is happy, angry or worried. She doesn't have any pretenses.

Back at the boardroom, Marimar calls for another meeting as some protest that these proposals are given by people they know and deal with regularly. She cuts them short telling them that yes, they do know these people but she doesn't. So she has the right to get to know them and give her final approval. Having no other objection she sets the date for their next meeting and ends the current one. Getting up, she makes for the door.

Sergio admits that Marimar is like a child and he likes the fact that she was totally dependent on him. He liked to be needed by Marimar, like back then.

Rodolfo, the suave, slick, businessman runs for the door so he can get it for Bella. She tells him, "May kamay ako, kaya kong magbukas ng pinto." (I have hands, I can open doors.)

Rodolfo introduces himself, "Rodolfo San Gines." (Sangines? San Ines? Kaka-ines? San Hines? San Jines?... dunno the spelling, sorry) and adds, "But you can call me, Rodolfo."

Marimar tells him as he holds the door for her, "You can call me, Miss Aldama." and leaves.

Sergio still daydreams about his wife telling Arturo that Marimar is, "ibang-iba sa lahat ng mga babae."

Rodolfo seems to be thinking the same thing as Sergio, considering Bella as different from the many girls he dates. He invites her to a masquerade ball he himself organised for his family's business. Bella checks with her secretary and Rowena tells her that she already has something scheduled. Rodolfo is not deterred, telling her that he is going to send an invite anyway, just in case she changes her mind.

Esperanza is at home and is updating Bella about the applicants she's been interviewing all morning but is sorry that she hasn't found a suitable one to look after Cruzita. A maid comes in an ushers a new applicant, it is Corazon! When Esperanza asks her name, she replies, "Corazon Osmena."

Angelika meets the entire Villa Santibanez staff. She tells them, "Si Renato ay isa nang baliw. Pero hindi ito hadlang para lumago ang Villa Santibanez. Mula ngayon, ako na ang tatayong presidente ng Villa Santibanez. Susundin ninyo lahat ng ipag-uutos ko. Ang sinumang hindi sumunod, malalagot." (Renato is now crazy. But this is no reason why Villa Santibanez should stop from prospering. From now on, I am the president of Villa Santibanez and my word is law. Those who do not follow will suffer the consequences.)

Antonio is excited about a masquerade ball he is attending. It is a good chance to meet girls as well as promote their company. He encourages Sergio to come along with him. "Ano date mo ako? Para ka ng si Arturo!" (What, me come with you? Am I your date? Have you gone gay like Arturo?)

Esperanza and Marimar are together and the elder Aldama asks her niece how her first day at work had gone. Marimar replies that it all went well except for her high heels which she still needs a lot of getting used to. She asks for Cruzita and she finds her daughter with her new nanny, it is Corazon! Marimar is happy to see her old friend and she hugs her warmly. Corazon is surprised but happy to see Marimar doing rather well and looking as pretty as ever. Marimar asks Esperanza if she can have a private word with Corazon. Her aunt agreed and took Cruzita to play elsewhere.

Antonio perseveres in inviting Sergio to accompany him to the ball. He tells his boss that it's the perfect opportunity to introduce their company to the rich and influential people. Sergio finally gives in and agrees to come with him.

Corazon comments that Cruzita is very pretty and sweet child. Marimar tells Corazon that her name is now Bella. When Corazon asks why she changed her name, which is so much nicer than her new one, Marimar tells her she did it to forget about her past, especially, "para makalimutan ang panloloko sa akin ni Sergio." (to forget about how Sergio had made a fool of her.)

Corazon is surprised at Marimar's evident anger towards Sergio and tells her he didn't fool her. But Marimar is closed to reason. She just asks Corazon to keep this a secret from Cruzita, the identity of her father. She makes Corazon promise never to tell Cruzita about who her father is. Corazon is confused but she agrees.

Marimar and Cruzita are playing outside. Esperanza and Innocencia look on. Esperanza observes that despite her niece's education and life in America, "Di pa rin siya tuluyang nagbago." (She hasn't completely changed.) Esperanza can see that her niece's kind nature is inherent.

The game Marimar and Cruzita play is similar to Sergio and Marimar's game - covering their faces and changing it from sad to happy to goofy. Innocencia adds, "Pinatungan niya ang bihis at anyo pero pag kasama niya ang mga mahal niya sa buhay, siya pa rin si Marimar." (She added a new layer of clothing and appearances but underneath it all, when she is with her loved ones, she is still Marimar.)

Meanwhile, the girls are back in swimsuit mode in Villa Santibanez as Angelika and Monica lounge by the pool. Angelika exclaims how she missed being home. Monica is still shocked at Renato's condition and probes her friend to tell her what happened. Angelika admits she's planned it well before their left for Paris.

We flashback to a doctor Angelika met four years earlier, a Dr Castillo who had been experimenting on illicit drugs. These have been banned as they are quite lethal. Small doses can cause hallucinations and memory loss. She bribed him so she can get her hands on some of the medication he invented so she can give it to Renato and make him go crazy.

At first, she gave him small doses along with his drinks or food. Slowly she increased the dosage until he started showing signs of paranoia. He now has hallucinations and talks to 'people' only he sees. Angelika gives a triumphant smile, "Sa wakas, nagbunga na rin ang matagal kong hinintay. Wala na siya sa sarili niyang pag-iisip. Isa na siyang 'krung-krung'!" Both Angelika and Monica laugh. The former offers her friend some juice but Monica declines, telling her friend she may be the next one to go crazy. Angelika banters back that her friend can never go crazy because, "wala ka namang utak eh!" Monica agrees,"Ay oo nga ano!" and both women continue to enjoy each other's company.

Rodolfo gives Bella an invite to his masquerade ball. He tells her that his father wants very much to meet her. He is quite old, a sickly man these days, and would be happy to finally meet Bella Aldama. Bella stops him by saying, "I get it, emotional blackmail?" and Rodolfo laughs. He flirtily replies, "Whatever works" but quickly adds and in a serious manner that his family would be pleased "if Bella can come, please."

It is the masquerade ball and guests are already there and having fun. Antonio and Sergio arrive sleek in their tuxedos. Sergio immediately complains, "Wala akong kakilala dito at di mo sinabing costume party pala ito. Tingnan mo, mukha akong waiter!" (I don't know anyone here and you didn't warn me this is going to be a costume party. Look at me, I look like the waiter!)

Antonio tells him to relax. He's quite used to social events like this and was quite the party animal at some time. Sergio tells Antonio that he has changed a lot since he got married. Resigned to his fate for the evening, Sergio goes around and says, "I need a drink." Alcohol would be quite appropriate for this. A waiter passes by and he grabs a glass of wine. Antonio sees some friends and goes off to greet them leaving Sergio sulking alone.

Bella gets made-up as she gets ready for the masquerade ball. Cruzita comes to her room and asks her where she's going. She tells her daughter that she's going to a party but assures her that she'll be back as soon as possible. Cruzita asks whether she could wait up for her but Bella tells her it would be quite late. Her daughter prods if she can instead sleep in her mom's bed and to this Marimar acquieces.

Back at the ball, a lady approaches Sergio asking him whether he is the racer and the handsome man admits that it is him indeed. The woman exclaims, "I'm a big fan" and asks him why he's not wearing a mask. He blandly replies that he's got nothing to hide. She introduces herself and continue to flirts with Sergio by asking him, "Totoo ba ang saying na basta driver, sweet lover?" Sergio gets a bit irritated but smiles and tells her, "I don't know but I think you should ask my wife." The lady feels like she's been slapped, "Wife? You're married." "Yes," he confirms, "excuse me," and leaves the woman in shock.

Nicandro, Perfect and Angelika take Renato to the bodega and Nicandro ties him up in chains in his hands and feet. Angelika orders Nicandro to make sure the chains are all securely locked. Angelika and Perfecta look down on the lunatic Renato who asked Angelika for mercy. Angelika coldly replies, "Naawa ka ba sa akin noong sinasaktan mo ako? Sa wakas nakaganti na rin ako." (Did you give me mercy when you were hurting me? I've finally gotten my revenge.)

She orders the two, "Ikandado ang bodega at kahit anong gawing sigaw ng baliw kong asawa, walang papansin sa kanya." (Lock the store room and whatever racket my crazy husband is making, no one is to pay him any mind) To Renato she sweetly says, "Bye honey, be a good boy."

Sergio is quite bored at the ball and tells Antonio that he wants to leave. Antonio begs him to stay, "Diyan ka lang, wag mo kong iiwanan."

From a short distance the girl flirting with him joins her friends. They ask her whether she got his number and she pouts as she reveals that she did not, as he is already married.

Sergio avoided the crowds on the ground floor and decided to be moody and sulk upstairs where he has a good view of the ball downstairs.

Marimar arrives and waits to be announced. An usher goes off to find Rodolfo.

Rodolfo is busy greeting guests, going around, making sure everyone is having a great time. Antonio introduces himself to the host who greets their group warmly. The usher comes to tell him his guest has arrived and he follows him.

Cruzita doesn't want to sleep. She wants to wait for her mommy to return. Corazon tells her to sleep now so she won't have any eye-bags (baggy eyes). Cruzita declares she doesn't want to have eye-bags then quickly asks Corazon what they are. Corazon laughs realising Cruzita is so much like Marimar. Cruzita asks her nanny whether she knew her mommy even then and she tells her ward that she's been friends with Marimar for a long time. Cruzita lights up. The little girl asks, if she knew Marimar since then, it is possible she also knows her father. Corazon stalls and tries to evade the question telling her that it's time to sleep. But Cruzita persists that she wants to know about her daddy. Corazon advises the little girl to ask her mom instead. Cruzita shares her wish with Corazon, "Sana someday, makilala ko na ang daddy ko."

Sergio is being stalked by the same girl who introduced herself to him. Rodolfo meets Bella as she enters the ball. He sees her and exclaims, "Wow, you're beautiful. You've made my evening complete." Marimar smiles and allows Rodolfo to accompany her to the stage. She wears a mask and waits to be presented.

Rodolfo calls everyone's attention and thanks them for coming to the ball. He presents to everyone the ball's guest of honor, Miss Bella Aldama. Marimar removes her mask and so does everyone. The guests clap and Sergio is dumbstruck. He couldn't believe who he is seeing. Rodolfo and Bella get down the stage and go round the ballroom to meet the other guests. Bella smiles and shakes everyones hands. She kisses many of them in the cheeks. She freezes for a few seconds when she hears a familiar voice scream, "Marimar!" She turns and sees Sergio above the ballroom. Their eyes meet and recognition sparks. She blinks and turns away, preparing to leave. Sergio runs down the stairs and catches up with her.

Sergio, "Marimar! Anong nangyari sa iyo?"

Bella, "I'm sorry pero nagkakamali ka. I'm Bella Aldama. I'm not Marimar."

Sergio insists, "Marimar!"

Bella, "Please don't make a scene. I don't know you and again, I'm not Marimar."

Bella is conscious of the many eyes watching them. Sergio is oblivious to the crowd, his eyes only on his wife. Rodolfo intervenes. "Bella what's going on? Who's this guy ba?"

Sergio is persistent, "Ako si Sergio, ako ang asawa niya."

Marimar swamped

2007-11-11T08:41:00.000+04:00

Been posting recaps of Marimar Philippine version on my blogs and last week, Monday - 5th November - the GMA Pinoy TV as shown here in the United Arab Emirates have decided to air two episodes of Marimar each day! Thus the episodes shown here are now up to 60 but I've only posted 52 so far.

Apologies to those who visit my blog for regular updates. I will try to post all of them this week but do bear with me. I am swamped in Marimar madness and my notes are all over the place!

Thanks for the emails of appreciation. I too enjoy posting them for you...

Silent September, October comes too quickly

2007-10-16T16:57:00.001+04:00

Catching Up

Been neglecting this blog as I got caught up with blogging about the Philippine remake of a Mexican soap, "Marimar" but I must drop a few lines about recent meanderings of my attention.

John Lloyd Cruz looks like Sam Milby

This is not a compliment! I saw him in Wowowee I think last month when he hosted the shaky game shown for a couple of days and the first thing that I said to myself seeing my "crush" is "WTF?!" He looks like a metro-sexual! So Sam Milby-ish in appearance and look at the rumours about that guy's sexual orientation eh?!

OK he's still good looking and looked very neat but hello, he's got G-A-Y spelled out all over him (not that there's anything wrong with that - Seinfeld) but well it doesn't suit him at all, IMHO.

Where's the slightly curly, scruffy, BOY-ish look? The operative word here is BOY - lalaki, man, heterosexual, male. I was just so disappointed. I mean, what the heck is Miss Liz Uy doing to the guy? Bading na bading na ang dating nya, porma and all and please stop making him diet...I want the pudgy boy-next-door, natural hair idol I love! Stop cloning him into another Piolo/Sam look-alike as it is not him. JLC if you do read my blog, I love you and have always admired you in how you tackle your roles but the fashionista look, drop it, por favor! Parang awa mo na. Kinikilabutan ako sa halip na kiligin sa iyo.

Paolo Ballesteros, Beautiful in Zaido

On the one hand, here's a guy who's been rumoured to be gay. In fact he's been getting jibes at some da-barkads in the nootime show of our life, EB, that he is one. But he is truly admirable in choosing this role in Zaido, proving many that he is man enough and comfortable in his own skin to don an almost female-ish costume.

Kagandahan sha, reminiscent of a younger Melanie Marquez...why not?! Go Paolo, you are truly exploring the limits of your acting dimensions and for that you are 100% man!

Just one question: Kailangan ba talaga ganon ang project ng voice mo sa role? Male Japanese anime characters are terribly beautiful to women-like features but keep a male speaking voice.

The Eid Al Fitr

Ramadan had passed these parts with a very quiet and laid-back month of fasting and doing good. It culminated in a 3-day holiday for Eid just last week and our home played host to friends and family who wanted to escape the noise and traffic jams of Dubai or Abu Dhabi and relax in green and provincial Al Ain. Thanks to the Hilaos: Dan, Espie, Dave, Gelo and Dean complete with diminutive yaya Ging-ging for keeping our friendship in tact despite the distance and the hectic lives we lead. Thanks to J, Jim and Tatin for coming over and spending some quality time with the family.

When all is said and done, family and true friends are the ones left stading by your side when you fall. Eid Mubarak!

English Expressions and why many of us make the same mistakes...

2007-08-30T11:45:00.000+04:00

A friend emailed me this funny ala diary log of a girl who had some interesting stories to tell and told it she did, indeed, with matching colloqials, slangs and common English phrases and expression that were not so....

I've tried to put in the correct phrase or word, however in some cases, the semantics becomes muddled. But it is such a funny read - despite being quite long - so enjoy!.

We' ve been friends for a long time ago (for a long time). We come from the same alma mother (alma mater). Actually, our paths crossed one time on another (one time or another). But it's only now that I gave him a second look. I realized that beauty is in the eyes. (beauty is in the eyes of the beholder) The pulpbits (heartbeat?) of my heart went fast, really fast. Cute pala siya.

And then, he came over with me (came over). He said, "I hope you don't mine (mind). Can I get your number?"

Nag-worry ako. What if he doesn't give it back? He explained naman na it's so we could keep intact (keep in-touch) daw. Sabi ko, connect me if i'm wrong (correct me...) but are you asking me ouch? (out)

Nabigla siya. Sagot niya, "Aren't they obviously?! " (Isn't it obvious)

Aba! Parang siya pa ang galit! Persona ingrata!!! (persona non grata) Ang kapal niya! I cried buckles of tears. (buckets of tears)

Na-guilty yata siya. Sabi niya, isipin mo na lang na this is a blessing in the sky (blessing in disguise) . Irregardless (regardless) daw of his feelings, we'll go ouch (out) na rin.

Now, we're so in love. Mute and epidemic na ang past. (moot and endemic?) Thanks God (thank God) we swallowed our fried. (pride) Kasi, I'm 33 na and I'm running our time. (running out of time)

After 2 weeks, he plopped the question. (popped) "Will you marriage me?" (marry)

I'm in a state of shocked. (shock) Kasi mantakin mo, when it rains, it's four! (it pours)
This is true good to be true. (too good to be true) So siyempre, I said yes. Love is a many splendor. (love is a many splendored thing)

Pero nung inaayos ko na ang aming kasal, everything swell to pieces. (fell to pieces)

Nag-di-dinner kami noon nang biglang sa harap ng aming table, may babaeng humirit ng, "Well, well, well. Look do we have here." (Look who do we have here)

What the fuss! (What's the fuss) The nerd ng babaeng yon! (the nerve) She said they were still on. So I told her, whatever is that, cut me some slacks! (whatever it is, cut me some slack) I didn't want this to get our hand (get out of hand) kaya I had to sip it in the bud. (nip it in the bud) She accused me of steeling (stealing) her boyfriend. Ats if! (As if) I don't want to portrait (portray) the role of the other woman. Gosh, tell me to the marines! (tell it to the marines) I told her, "please, mine your own business!" (mind your own..) Who would we believe her anyway? (Who would believe her anyway)

Dahil it's not my problem anymore but her problem anymore, (it's not my problem anymore but her's) tumigil na rin siya ng panggugulo. Everything is coming up daisies. (coming up roses) I'm so happy. Even my boyfriend said liketwice (likewise). He's so supportive. Sabi niya, "Look at is this way. She's our of our lives." (Look at it this way; she's out of our lives)

Kaya advise ko sa inyo - take the risk. You can never can tell. (you never can tell) Just burn the bridge when you get there. (just cross the ....) Life is shorts. (Life is short) If you make a mistake, we'll just pray for the internal and external repose of your soul. I second emotion. (this is overkill!!! - more like just pray; I second the motion)

AT MAY PART TWO PA! IT'S MORE THAN ENOUGH AT IT IS! HAHAHAHA!!!

I thought Jay's ex-girlfriend was really out of our lives. But heaven only goes (...only knows) that I was wrong. Kakakasal pa lang namin nun when Jay received a uninamous text. (anonymous) "Meet me at the clinic".

I had a stinking feeling in my butt. (sinking feeling) I told him not to go. It might in danger him. (endanger) Pero sabi niya, ok lang daw because life is what we make. (...what we make of it) Tumahimik lang ako. Sabi niya, "Penny for you talks." (a penny for your thoughts) But I didn't know what to say. Beggars can't be losers. (...can't be chosers)

Isa pa, worried talaga ako na baka yung girl yun. Jay said, "Can't got your tongue" (cat got your tongue) I tried to smile at him. Kahit di ako nagsalita, actions speak louder than works, di ba? (...speaks louder than words)

Be that as is may, (...as it may) umalis pa rin siya. I was out of the loophole. (out of the loop) After a few hours, I called him on his cellphone. But my calls fell on Jeff's ears. (fell on deaf ears) Lalo akong nag-worry kasi I didn't even know Jeff. It's like, I don't know him and Adam! (...know him from Adam) Sabi na nga ba di na dapat umalis si Jay. That's what I'm talking about it. (that's what I'm talking about)

So I tried calling some friends who will help me find Jay. That's what friends are four (...are for) naman di ba? But I just faced a blank mall. (...a blank wall) I had to do this alone. Nag-taxi na lang ako. Pero ang mahal na pala ng plug down rate. (flagged-down)

When I got to the clinic, the security was really buffed up. Di basta-basta makakapasok. So I said, 'I beg your cordon. (...your pardon) I'm patient. (I'm a patient? I'm impatient?) It's my favorite virtue nga e.' Nagduda yata yung isang guard. Hinawakan ako sa arm. The nerd! (the nerve, unless he really is a nerd!) I shouted, 'Don't touch me not!' (Don't touch me) Buti na lang the other guards were nice and said, 'Come on, let's join us.' (Come join us)

When I went inside, parang I've been there, done there. (...been there, done that) Nung walang nakatingin, nag-explore ako. Nakarating ako sa top floor and I had a bird's IQ (bird's eye view) of the clinic. I could not explain it but I was drawn to a room on the floor. Siguro Divine Intermission na yun. (divine intervention) Parang may narinig akong umuungol. I was thorn. (torn) Di ko alam kung aalis ba ako o papasukin ko.

It made me stick in the stomach (sick in....) to think that Jay and his ex-girlfriend were there.I tried to tell myself to slower my expectations. (lower my...) But to tell with it! (to hell...) I had to strike while the iron is not. (...while the iron is hot) I had to hear the truth from the corpse's mouth. (..the horse's mouth) I barraged in. (barged) O my gas! (My Gosh) Si Jay, naka-strap sa operating table, parang genie pig (guinea...) sa isang nakakatakot na experiment. He was on the cutting edge. (on the brink of being cut? the edge of the cutting table?) He was bleeding. At ang doctor na nagpapahirap sa kanya, ang ex-girlfriend niya at ang bago nitong boyfriend, ang nurse na si Walter. Doon ko napatunayang blood is thicker than Walter. (...thicker than water)

Guess watch? (what) Di ko alam kung paano ko nagawa pero I was able to search and rescue Jay. (this is correct but sounds like a military op) Siguro adrenaline brush (adrenaline rush) na yun. Now, he's recovering. Nag-sorry siya na hindi siya nakinig sa akin. I know it's a better pill to swallow your pride so it's forgive and forget me
not. All swell that end swell. I know we should kiss and put on makeup. (there's just too many here: it's a bitter pill to swallow; better swallow your pride; forgive and forget; all's well that ends well; kiss and makeup)

Ang ex-girlfriend naman niya at si Walter, nakakulong na. Detention is really better than cure. So the moral of the lesson is: if symptoms persist, insult your doctor. (prevention is better than the cure; if symptoms persist, consult your doctor)

Better read up on English expressions and don't be caught saying something similar to the above!

GMA vs ABS-CBN

2007-07-16T10:45:00.000+04:00

I've watched both ABS-CBN and GMA shows in the past and continue to do so today. Fan ako nung "Maging Sino Ka Man" while loyal din ako sa "Asian Treasures"; enjoy din ako ngayon kay "Ysabella" while tutok pa rin sa "Lupin". I watch "Eat Bulaga" and prefer it to "Wowowee". I like the shows with Boy Abunda but also enjoy Star Talk and Sis. Wala, telebabad lang talaga...sobra.

But here are my comments to these shows that I watch.

1. Mas realistic ang dialogues ng Kapuso kesa ng Kapamilya. Masyadong madrama na ang mga linya like in MSKM na hindi naman ganyan mag-usap ang mga normal na tao. Pati sina Piolo at Claudine sa Walang Kapalit, sobrang OA mag-usap...parang hindi natural. Halatang acting...may minemoryang script. Sa kapuso, natural ang dating mga mga dialog, kahit pa sinabing drama si Bakekang, makaka-relate ka sa dialogues nila, as in may puso ang dating, hindi pilit.

2. Daming commercials ng ABS while GMA Pinoy TV dire-diretso. Minsan nauubos na oras ko kakahintay matapos ang napakahabang advisory ng ABS...I'm a subscriber to both here abroad. Kakainis ang haba ng commercials, parang 'mukhang pera' ang dating ng ABS kesa GMA. OO nga, mukhang maraming pera ang station pero kasi mukhang marami silang pinagkakaperahan...hmmmm, Meralco bills nyo ba tumaas kakapanood ng TV shows ng ABS? hehehehe joke joke

3. Ang tagal ng development ng story lines ng Dos kesa ng Siete. Imagine nyo na lang ang mga eksena ni Eli at Jackie, sa totoong buhay ba, ganyan kayo mag-usap ng taong mahal mo naman?! Parang pinipiga talaga bawat eksena to the point na parang tanga na ang audience...kakasubaybay sa pangyayaring alam mo naman kung saan hahantong. In fairness sa Asian Treasure, nagalit si Gabriella nang malaman nyang ang isang kilala nyang kaaway, si Socrates, ay tunay nya palang ama....but friends, it took the same episode for her to forgive and make up with the man. Eh yung sa MSKM na ubos ang isang episode halos sa sulat na binabasa ni Celine na galing kay JB? Man! OK senti at maganda yung liham pero namaaaaaaaan!!!

4. Wowowee may be doing well in ratings this time around over Eat Bulaga but I still find Willie's hosting a bit rough. Hindi nakakatawa eh. There was this episode where a child contestant had a really shrill voice. Tapos tuloy nya pa ring tini-tease ang bata. He's acting like OK na sige na, letting the child believe na hindi na nya patutugtugin yung parang basag na sound effects tapos sesenyas sha sa soundman na i-play ulit. Tama ba yon? To poke fun at the expense of a little girl, na trauma na ata yung bata. Tapos yung papasok sha at yuyuko-yuko sa camera to show what? the legs, underwear, singit of the dancers? tama ba yon? Tapos in many cases, he clearly has shown favoritisms on contestants tapos he tries to make them win over those who aren't his fave. And the prizes, mas malaki talaga binibigay ng Eat Bulaga kasi may home partner pa sila who get the same prize as the studio contestant. I find Bentong is being taken advantage of, while in Eat Bulaga ang mga side-kicks nila, in fairness umaangat ang roles. Mas masaya pa rin talaga panoorin ang EB kesa Wowowee.

5. Kakaunti nga ang talents ng GMA than ABS but that works out better for these talents who are given a variety of breaks in singing, dancing, hosting and acting - nagiging all around sila. I still think that ABS has more pa-cute celebs, more flash on the surface and nothing to offer deep down, mga 15 seconds of fame talents than Kapuso. Sa ABS kapag hindi ka bata, makinis, toned to the bone, hindi ka yata mabibigyan ng chance or second chance unless isa kang Sharon Cuneta or Dolphy...I also sense that Kapuso talents are happier, more down to earth and really genuine than the latest offings from the sarimanok network.

6. GMA shows have variety and capture Pinoy audiences without trying to be too hard at it. The KiliTV shows help us forget our worries for a while, the super heroics of Captain Barbel, Darna, Super Twins, etc. make us contine to hope for and believe while the dramas make us feel. ABS has a few shows like that too. But many appear to be too streamlined na parang super fabricated na, super made-up, hindi na talaga natural ang dating. Even the kids in Going Bulilit look too old in their acting and stage presence (projections)...wala na yung innocence ng Ang TV days!

7. I like watching both stations but somehow I end up watching more GMA than ABS. It is not because I don't like ABS, sinusubaybayan ko pa rin ang bumababang ratings na Rounin, it's just that GMA has more to offer. Enjoy ako sa mga Sine Totoo ni Howie Severino at mga documentaries at opinionated shows like the Reporter's Notebook and Palaban. Makatotohanan ang nilalarawan ng Sidetrip at educational ang 100% Pinoy. I also like At Home Ka Dito pero more kasi dahil sa featured celebrities at pagiging sweet ni Charlene. I watch Homeboy kahit na paulit-ulit lately na si Dennis Padilla ang isa sa mga guests dahil gusto kong mag-host si Boy. Just as I find the triumvirate of Janice, Gelli and Carmina refreshing and candid. Pero hindi nakakatawa ang Aalog-alog, unlike Bahay Mo Ba 'To?

8. Ang paawa effect at paiyak-iyak ni Willie will never cover up the fact that he's a failed husband and father. Joey De Leon and Vic Sotto may have several mistakes in the past but both have owned up to it, with the masa continuing to accept them for who they are. These two do not wear pretencious masks to sheild their "other" personas from the public eye. Mayabang si Joey? Aba dapat lang - he's a solid writer, artist, actor, singer, host, comedian and has proven that in the many years he's been in the business. Upstarts may have their day but only time will tell if they too can last the rigors and challenges of a daily variety gameshow.

Personal opinion lang po ito. Pansin nyo rin ba?

From Blogthings....

2007-07-03T09:16:00.000+04:00

OK here's an interesting survey. It's to know whether the opposite sex think of you as someone who is easy to get. I figured that I'm not really that kind of a person but I took the test anyways. Below are the questions (you had to answer about seven of them) and the results. I like the way it sounds so I'm sharing here my "how-easy-am-I-meter-reading". If you want to take the same test, just click the link and knock yourselves out!

And the results are in....!

Guys Think You're Easy to Be With... But Not Easy

You're definitely a flirt - and a good one.

But you also know that you shouldn't make a move on any cute guy who passes by.

You save your seductive moves for someone who already knows the real you.

That way, your sex appeal is just part of the whole package.

Are You An Easy Girl?

Of Paranormal Experiences in Cebu City

2007-06-27T11:22:00.001+04:00

I promised to write about the paranormal things that we experienced as a family back when we lived in Escario extension in Cebu City. We rented this huge house that had six bedrooms upstairs and a huge den/bedroom downstairs with a proper bar that had this “reminiscent of cowboy movies” swining-door and a huge front and backyard. The house also stood next to a vacant lot that had some mango trees and a huge and ancient acacia tree that stood near the wall of the house. This wall is where the second floor’s bathroom is located. This bathroom joins my parents bedroom and our bedroom (my younger brother Alvin and I slept in this room with Tia Meding).

In the beginning, we noticed some strange little things like the sound of the typewriter being used upstairs when nobody was even there! My dad had converted part of the second floor into an office and he had his desk set-up with this old, bulky typewriter on the side of the table. Nobody save for my parents were ever allowed near this table and the file cabinets that held important documents. We were all scolded if we ever played near the “office” so everyone kept well away. However on some days, there would be someone typing on that enormous typewriter – when my dad was in his office, my older brothers were still in school and everyone was in the den or the living room watching TV. Being a tropical country, most home dwellers would stay on the ground floor where it is cooler. At first my grandmother suspected it to be just the cats, playing on dad’s desk. But as kids, we couldn’t imagine cats to be so clever as to type on a machine that needed quite some strength to push the keys off and make that distinct “imprinting” sound: the tap, tap, tap of a typewriter. Later on we'd hear laughter like children at play, only the kids back then were just Alvin and I and we'd be asleep when stranger childlike laughter would fill our home.

Then there is the imaginary friend that my younger brother, Alvin has. He talks to them and he described them as small, as tall as he is, and that there is more than one that he plays with. Being children, I too had an imaginary friend I named ‘Petunia’ whom I so convincingly created and pretended to be real that my brother had even inherited her. But for all her fun and laughter that she brought to us, Petunia was definitely make-believe. Unlike the new friends my brother has...they were real!

He liked playing in the bathroom that joins my parents and our bedrooms. Until now, he’s well over-30 my brother liked doing things that involved water – be it washing his car, washing dishes, cleaning the bathroom or washing his maongs (jeans). So often in the day when its summer or there’s no school to go to, he’d be up there splashing and laughing and talking to himself. Everyone thought it was just normal. Mom was more worried of him accidentally slipping or putting his head into the huge pail of water and drown than for anything else. However he started to develop huge pimple-like breakouts on his skin. Like an inverted pimple where you don’t see the ‘eye’ these lumps started to grow on his legs and arms, his chest and all over his body. My parents were desperate for a cure! We’ve been everywhere: his pediatrician (he was only about 3 or 4 years old then); Chong Hua Hospital (which is considered the best medical care in Cebu back then); even quack doctors and herbolarios (traditional medicine men or healers that uses herbs and oils). One of these herbolarios used a candle that he lets drip onto a basin of water. The shape of a small man formed. In Filipino, we call these “duendes” (fairies or elves). He suggested to perform some form of ritual to be rid of them but my parents refused, disbelieving the man. All forms of medicines and ointments have already been used on my brother at this point and my parents were desperate for a cure although, they wouldn’t want to succumb to killing a chicken and spilling its blood type of ritual, yet.

The worst of the strange events happened after Valentines’ Day in the early 80’s. My parents are members of socio-civic organisations like my dad is a member of Kiwanis Club while my mom was a member of the Cebu Jaycees. That V-day, mom held a party for her fellow Jaycees in our home. Dad also invited some Belgian guests from work and other close friends. It was a fun night and I was even allowed to join the party handing out party favours to the women and asking everyone to sign in this huge cardboard heart that served as a guestbook. Guests enjoyed the night and stayed on until the wee hours, laughing and having fun. We we’re all shocked by what we saw the very next day!

The long bar situated under the staircase was ransacked. Bottles appeared to have been melted out of shape! This was no ordinary melting as there was no sign of any burn or charring. The swinging cowboy door was pulled out of its hinges and being secured by huge bolts, it looked like only someone really strong could have done it. My parents were baffled. The last of the guests left at about 4:00 am. There was just my parents and some elder family members left who did a quick clean-up of the party leftovers and went to bed, deciding to do the rest of the cleaning the following day. We all woke up at around 9:00 am and still in pajamas, we all heard the scream of our ‘house help’ (maid) who had been up since 7:00 but had only been through the living room for the first time. She’d had breakfast and cooked breakfast for the family, she was off to the sala (living room) to clean up the rest of the previous night’s party mess when she saw the bar in this state. We all ran to her aid, thinking she’d been hurt but she just pointed at the bar and was shivering in fear.

My parents even called the police and they came, took some pictures and interviewed the adults about the night. Yet the puzzle remains unsolved. Nothing was taken, nothing was lost. No one was really hurt save for the poor wine and alcohol bottles that have been re-shaped out of their original state and the swinging door that has been pulled off its hinges.

A friend who claimed to be a “seer” of sorts explained to my mom that the duendes were upset about all the noise and ruckus of the party that they destroyed all the alcohol and wine so that people would stay sober and not make such disturbing noises. Also she added that my brother, Alvin can see them too and has been playing with them. They like him so much (being so cute and chubby back then; see our picture below...) that when at play, many of these duendes would pinch him, thus the unexplained and incurable lump-like pimple-like outbreaks on his arms and legs and chest. These duendes lived in the huge acacia tree that stands near the wall that is to our bedroom and the shared bathroom.

We haven’t really noticed it but perhaps due to a previous typhoon and heavy rainfall, the branches of the acacia tree had fallen and leaned towards the wall, and a huge branch has settled near the window of the bathroom. This had enabled to “others”, these paranormal creatures to venture into our bathroom where they met the cute Alvin and made friends. Eventually, some had ventured more and more into the house and have played with the typewriter, in the rooms upstairs and even downstairs where on a really dusty day, we’d see small footprints on furniture where the dust had seemed to settle. At first we thought they we’re the cats or dogs’ footprints but looked too human in shape and yet too small to be ever mine or my brother’s the only children in the house. These footprints were also on odd places where no human child could ever reach or even canine and feline pets would have difficulty reaching.

With this revelation, my parents have decided to move homes. Thus saying goodbye to Escario Extension, we moved to V. Luna, into a 5-door apartment where we occupied one unit and my grandmother opened a convenient store. Alvin's "pimples" misteriously just all disappeared and got miraculously cured.

More on Cebu life stories on my next blog.

Just an added thing, which may be of interest: I asked my brother how they looked like, his so-called duende friends and he described them as looking like gnomes but not fat, more like hobbits in their build. Slim, like 3 year old pre-schoolers in height, they har pointed ears, wore pointy hats and costumes like those of a gnome...but not at fat or heavy. They also looked younger, not the old bearded faces of gnomes. Below is a picture of a gnome and a hobbit - you just have to combine the bits together to get an idea of how the duendes may have looked like to my brother and why he liked playing with them in the bathroom.

Teachers, the foundation years

2007-06-12T11:50:00.000+04:00

The gypsy in us brought us to Cebu in Lahug. Dad was then working for Eternit Corporation, a French-based company that sold asbestos roofing before it was discovered that asbestos caused all kinds of diseases including cancer. His office was in Magellan Hotel. Dad was also an active member of the Kiwanis Club of Cebu.

Alvin went to St. Francis of Assisi, near the Redemptorist Church as a Nursery student and I went to the Colegio de la Inmaculada Concepcion in Cebu. We lived in a huge seven-bedroom house in Escario Extension that had some other “creatures” living in it too! My first hand experience into the paranormal, indeed!

I was Grade 2 under Madame Dotillos. She was a petite but stern pregnant woman who despite her size managed to keep us all in our best behaviors. I had friends named Erika, Marie Blanche Regual, Lara Briones, Frances Dawn Reynes, Judy Halili and Carmenchu Seno. There was also this little girl, a classmate of ours who had a red mole on her nose like what you’d imagine Rudolf would have. I remember her name was Ethel and she had really curly hair. She sat to my right in our class picture. I think the girl’s name who sat on my left was Carmela. I can no longer recall her surname. Among the boys I would only recall Jeffrey Manalaysay and Jonathan Alino. See our class picture below.

I remember I used to go home with Blanche in their arts and crafts souvenir store where I’d eat lunch with her and her younger siblings. Her mom runs the shop and they stayed there with her. I brought lunch with me, packed in a plastic container with a table napkin and cutleries. Sometimes, I would go to Erika’s house. I don’t know if classes extended until the afternoons or perhaps on some days we had classes till the afternoon and other days no, because one time I sneaked out of Tia Meding’s eye. Tia Meding is actually my grandmother’s cousin who was a soltera (unmarried till old age) and lived with us. She was quite a good cook and also helped in marketing and picking us kids from school. I liked testing how independent I’ve become so one time, when she was already waiting for me to collect me from school; I escaped and took the jeepney home on my own. The fare then was 35 centavos from my school to our home and it’s the same price for an 8oz bottle of Coca Cola. My ‘baon’ (cash for Recess) was 1 peso and I had packed sandwiches, fruit juices and water as well as an occasional lunch packet with me. Poor Tia Meding arrived home in breathless panic only to find me already in my home clothes and getting ready for my afternoon nap!

Grade 3 was in the same school, mostly with the same classmates and our class adviser then was Miss Fe Susaya who I will not forget because she said she used to be so insecured about her large owl-like eyes when her father told her that she is lucky to have such beautiful eyes, so she must not feel bad instead be proud of what she has. More or less I still kept the same friends with a new best friend: Maria Milagros Llarranaga who had two small brothers, Paco and Emmanuel. They lived in Cebu but holidayed in Spain where they originally came from and I remembered Mimi as this new student in a new school and befriended her. We easily got along and were inseparable in the third grade. We also had a much older classmate whose name escapes me now. She played with us but she was sort of the one who knows much about love. She’s had a boyfriend! Also she’s already had menstruation and we were all asking her all sorts of questions about that! I had my first admirer in the third grade and his family owned a guitar factory in Cebu. Our class even went there for a field trip but sadly, I had forgotten his name. Pictures of Grade III section White – in our school uniforms and our Christmas party, below:

Next blog, remember I said I had first-hand experience in the paranormal? Well details will be posted next time :-) Also more of CIC memories....

Teachers, the early years

2007-06-12T10:42:00.000+04:00

I’ve blogged on the hopes and pains of teaching in my previous post, particularly teaching students in these parts of the desert and now I wonder about the many teachers who have come my way. I barely remember many of them and some I have totally forgotten. There are a few that have stuck, mainly because I did like them or learnt well from them or was so terrorized of them that forgetting even their middle names will mean mortal peril to me and mine.

I also saw a bulletin post in Friendster asking about past teachers and so this has prompted me to travel back into my memories and recall the many mentors that have helped mould me into the learner that I am today.

Kindergarten was in Bacolod City at the St. Rose of Lima school. I’ve had several teachers from Kinder to Preparatory but the one name that stuck is Sister Lina. She was really sweet and kind to a very young me. Many of my classmates then had bladder problems, wetting their uniforms and getting all messy and whiny, but I remembered her to be just as caring to the bad ones as to the good ones – fair and stern when required, our only punishment when bad is to go to sleep.

I cannot remember any of my classmates now, except for Louie Reyes who had an older brother Bonnell Reyes and a younger sister Maria Reyes. They were our neighbors and my and my younger brother Alvin’s playmates. Since Maria and Alvin are the same age – toddlers at 2, Louie and I would pretend to play house and the two would be our children. Their mother, Tita Norie Reyes was a good friend of my mom. They moved to Connecticut after about a year and we’ve lost track of them then.

Grade school was a mix of private and public schools that also took us to another city. I studied Grade 1 in Colegio de la Inmaculada Concepcion in Mandaue City. I have forgotten all the names of my teachers in the first grade. I was more involved in watching the latest anime outing on TV like Voltes V, Candy-Candy, Ron-Ron and the Flower Angels, Mekanda Robots, Glendaizer, Daimos and their contemporaries. But one teacher really stuck – despite me forgetting her name. I got sick with measles during the fourth grading period and the final exams. Of course being only in the first grade, this was really no big deal. I could still move on to the second grade despite missing the finals. However I was in the running for the honor students in my class and so my teacher took all my exams to our home and I had the chance to take them and keep my standing. I completed the first grade as third honor overall. My parents were so proud and mom came up on stage to pin my ribbon as third honor. I had barely recovered from my “tigdas” (measles) then and looked really thin and pale in the camera.

(more next post...)

Of the weather, teaching and hope

2007-06-12T09:40:00.000+04:00

It’s the last week of classes and exams and students have been passing by my desk saying hello and hoping to get a chance to ask me if I had finished checking their project and folder and whether they passed or not.

While I’m getting a headache from the constant temperature changes; the Library where I’m stationed is air-conditioner cold and when I get to pick up my daughter from her school at noon, it will be like 49 degrees, desert-summer hot! Heading back to my desk after lunch, I feel like an old candle at my wick’s end, melted to the last of my still standing wax. However, lately, I suspect my headache also springs from reading the projects and going through folders of the three sections that I teach this semester.

When once a student I’d give my project to my teachers well in advance of the deadline, my students seem to start working on theirs only ON the deadline. Folders and portfolios were also a big deal. They represented the bulk of your work for the entire semester. These folders represented you! The neater, more complete and with high scores they are, the more you feel good about yourself and what you have achieved. Somehow you take pride in what you have accomplished and take painstaking measure to ensure that you submit a portfolio that is not only complete but perhaps shows a bit more and beyond what the teacher has expected. Not in these parts of the globe.

I’ve received folders that have melted and wrinkled under the heat of the sun, left for hours in students’ cars instead of being taken with them to their classes. I’ve seen folder filed higgledy piggledy with papers facing the back or upside down as well as right side up. There have been portfolios with nothing in them save for a few tasks the student has remembered to file. There were even some who photocopied their classmates’ tasks, not even bothering to change or erase the original names and pass it as their own!

Of course there are the good projects and portfolios as well, but these are few and far between. The mediocres and sub standard ones rules the very few who really take an effort to pass with flying colors.

Perhaps it is the culture of being part of a community, a tribe, than being recognized as one. Perhaps it is the laid back way of the desert dwellers where a passing grade is often good enough. Why sweat it out some more when I already passed, claimed several of my students who were happy with projects graded in 70’s and 80’s when they could have re-done it and got perhaps 90’s or even the perfect 100. “No thanks, too troublesome” like Shikamaru, a favorite character in the anime Naruto would often say.

For now that have passed and that’s what matters. No need to shine, no reason to step up. It is still a communal attitude that rules here and though I take comfort in the relative lax attitudes of my students, I often wonder how they will become as future bosses, leaders and law-makers of their country. Would this laxness prevail or would they slowly grow out of it as they grow older? I’ve been to government offices here where employees work like cogs on a wheel. On the other hand, I’ve also been to quite a few where employees get to drink tea every few hours.

So there’s this pull at the opposite ends of the socio-eco-cultural spectrum that makes up this foster-homeland that I’ve lived in for the past 13 years. With so many cultures in the population each with a different kind of work ethic, the locals are at odds which way to go. Would we preserve the communal and traditional way where one celebrates the glory of a tribe and not go beyond that? Or would we better take the individual and train him to be at par with the many other expatriates that clamor for the same job post locals have access to? How else would you justify hiring a local over an "expat" (expatriate), one who works like a cog and takes pride in his initiative and ambitious drive against the former who is happy to have worked off a few things for today and leaves the rest tomorrow, Inshallah “God willing”, to be handled tomorrow?

Most of my students smirk or give funny, uncomfortable faces when I tell them they must work harder because later on they will be their country’s pillars. They might think of me as some kind of a lunatic with all the drilling I push them: “File your work properly; you are after all college students, NOT kindergarten.” Or the more often sarcastic query I make, “What, you left your folder at home?! How will it ever get completed there?”

I go back to my own memories of first year college when being a green horn in my country’s state university, I had to prove myself to my professors, peers and the thousands who have gone before me that I too am worthy to be in a state university, perhaps there was even the small hope that I would best so many of the others, yet.

With a sigh I submit my final grades to the course coordinator. It’s been lean this semester and though I tell myself that I really should get used to it, having been teaching to the same bunch of first year intakes since 1999, I still wonder whether the rantings and lessons I’ve instilled in my students would ever take root. Or will I be forgotten by the next academic year, passed on as that strict Filipino teacher in the Library who made students do a lot of difficult things. I keep praying for the roots.

Movies to see

2007-06-07T09:13:00.001+04:00

Kamatis na Puno ng Hinagpis

2007-05-24T14:32:00.000+04:00

Kamatis na puno ng hinagpis Tomatoes Full of Woe

Mariin niyang pinisil (He pinches hard the tomato)
Baong kamatis sa plastic (His lunch in plastic)
Marahan naman ibinuntong-hininga (Slowly he sighs)
Problema sa buhay (His problems in life)

Pahirap nang pahirap (‘Tis getting much harder )
Buhay at kabuhayan (Living and life)
Palaki nang palaki (‘Tis getting much wider)
Agwat ng aba at mayaman (The gap between rich and poor)

Umabot na nga (Till it has reached)
Sa kamatis na lang na ulam (This tomato for his viand)
Minsa’y napapalitan (That gets alternated with)
Asin, kape o asukal (Salt, coffee or sugar)

Parang kay dilim na ng kinabukasan (Seems that the future grows dim)
Paghihirap sa buhay di na mawakasan (Hardships never end)
Kahit magbanat ng buto sa maghapon (Despite a day’s hard labor)
Sa pobreng buhay parang di na makaahon (Poverty seems insurmountable)

Kamatis at asin (Tomatoes and salt)
sa malamig na kanin (With cold rice)
Pantawid gutom sa maghapong pasanin (Appeases the hunger of a day’s work)
Trabahong pambili lang din (That pays wages enough)
Bukas... ng kamatis, asin, kanin (for some more tomatoes, tomorrow)

--
Despite the promise of hope from the newly elected leaders of my country, life never changes much for the common "tao". The "masa" or people who live, breathe and make up the 80 million that is Filipino in my beautiful 7,107 islands that is Philippines.

I write this poem above with English translation (for my non-Tagalog visitors) as a tribute to the workers, the urban poor, the farmers, the many Filipinos who work from before sunrise until after the sun has set and end up only making enough for the next day.

Despite reports from the GMA Administration that money is coming into the country - brought more by the growing number of overseas contract workers than by any socio-economic changes of the current government - money is not trickling down to the poorest of the poor, the grassroots "masa", the common "tao".

My country is still poor and they get poorer each day despite the hardwork they put in. Imagine a family picking up garbage from as early as 5:00 am until dusk only to earn just enough for tomorrow's meal. That is not fair. No one who works that hard should ever live like that. But how does it get addressed by my country's leaders? They who have enough food on their table, stored in their pantries and kept fresh in their fridges? In mocking irony, these politicians dare to go on diets and enroll in gym classes to keep fit in the midst of all the poor who have nothing but a sorry plate of cold rice, maybe a tomato, salt or sugar to eat?

'Tis indeed woeful to the highest level.

Finding my old selves

2007-05-16T14:42:00.000+04:00

Been going through a lot of photos lately. I want to make a scrapbook of the photos of me and my loved ones through the years and it's amazing how photographs sometimes pull us back to yesteryears as if they were only yesterday. Funny too how some, no matter how hard we try to remember when and where it was taken or who were those people or that person...we never could remember. Time and pictures fade. Thanks to scanners and the Net we have a chance to resurrect the dead! Yes looking back at our old self, at least the lithos of our old selves, can make us cringe or smile or smirk - so much nostalgia or the lack of it - making us wonder of years gone by and people we've met.

Here's a picture of me on my 5th birthday. It's about 3 or 4 in the afternoon. I've just been woken up from my afternoon nap and gotten dressed in this pink cotton dress, my new birthday frock. A week before I've just gotten a haircut so my "bob" is fairly new. I don't know about my rolled-up knee-high socks but I'm not very happy looking in this picture.

Love and Mothers

2007-05-13T15:33:00.000+04:00

Mothers can be anyone who loves and continues to do so without expecting for anything in return.

I would dare to equate mother with love for the love of a mother for her child is the kind of love that is unconditional, never-ending, constant and true. From our earliest hours on this planet, someone had been a mother to us; cared for our helpless beings; made sure we were fed; clothed; cleaned and more than that; loved. I believe human babies grow not just out of being well looked after, but more so out of being loved – the countless kisses, hugs and caresses we got in infancy – often many of us do not even remember. Yet mothers of all generation continue to cuddle, hug, kiss, caress their young, not allowing even a spec of dust to touch their baby’s skin or a moment that their eyes would stray from their young. It is indeed love at first sight and one that will last beyond our mortal beings.

I have been quite lucky to have felt the love of more than just one mother. Since birth, I have been cared-for and loved by four or five incredible women of three generations. My mother gave me life and fed me her milk from my early days. Luzviminda of the fair skin and the beautiful singing voice, she too would lull me to sleep. In the first few hours of my birth Lucia ran to the central market to buy me my very first clothes as “mamang”, a working mother with two other children, had not been quite prepared for my arrival. Mommy Lucy would also through the years provide a steady stream of love and encouragement that would keep me strong in my sometimes serious but much more often mundane trials. Not having a daughter of her own, she considered me hers. Felisa, my maternal great-grandmother also had a hand at bringing me up. The healer in the family, she would provide relief from the aches and pains of my childhood and being a woman of strength, she provided the stability and routine of my early years. Lola Peling in her patadjong and kimona would brew the most fragrant coffee each morning while spewing out words of wisdom to a queue of uncles and aunts who have come from the barrios in search of better fortune in the city. She is my role model for kindness and integrity.

Then there are the two Concepcions, the senior is my maternal grandmother and the junior is my Mommy Connie whom I call “magma”. Although my grandmother, I call her “nanay Conching” because she is the mother of my childhood. The woman who made sure I ate, took my bath, said my prayers; the one who stayed up at nights when I was sick and the one I ran to when I had any fears or pain in my body. Magma is the mother of my heart. She provided for me from when I was three; took me in as one of her own from that time and molded me into the person I am today. She is the voice in my head and my other role model for kindness and strength. She is also my spiritual teacher. She like Lola Peling taught me to share no matter what little I have to those who have none. She ingrained in me to help, just help and not expect for anything in return. She and my nanay Conching taught me to love, just love and not expect to be loved back. Because to deny help or love especially to those who need it is like denying sunshine or rain to mankind.

God has angels to do his work on earth. Many of them are called mothers.

To my mothers: mamang and lola Peling who are now with God and to nanay Conching, mommy Lucy and magma: I love you, happy mother’s day.

Working Abroad

2007-04-29T16:19:00.000+04:00

Lately there have been talk about taxing OCWs to make more money for the Philippine Government. The three students from La Salle also reasoned that this tactic will curb the growing number of migrant workers leaving the country, draining it of necessary brain/man/woman-power. Tough.

The first ever 16-year old genius, who graduated summa cum laude from UP, in her speech challenged the youth like her to take the road less travelled, the choice of working and living in the Philippines; against the growing trend of leaving the country for greener pastures. Good luck.

Here in the UAE, government agencies have been set up as mandated by the President to ensure that all graduates find jobs at the end of their college or highschool year. About four agencies now look after the training, job placement and support of all the UAE's youth to ensure that they are on track in their career and live as productive professional and citizens of their country.

As I listed to a recently concluded forum on Emiratisation, I wonder when my very our government would make moves to ensure jobs for million of Filipino graduates; when will my own government set up agencies that would welcome back professionals working abroad into the country and ensure that they share the skills and the expertise learned abroad with their fellowmen in return for job opportunities back home.

See there is something very different from a Filipino trying to make a living and a life from an Emirati. The Emirati has a government that truly supports its youth. I on the one hand, has a country that exports even our native aborigines, the Aetas, as electricians in Saudi Arabia and Australia.

Nevermind that my country's rulers are corrupt. Nevermind that every Filipino household is getting poorer and poorer if not for the OFW families that help make ends meet. Nevermind young blood like Mikaela calling for the youth to give the Philippines a chance. Arroyo and her cronies have done nothing to encourage Filipinos to go work back home, worse, she's made more Filipinos leave the country. It is afterall healthy for the economy that more dollars are coming in.

I sit there in the Emiratisation forum thinking in 5 - 10 years, these local Emiratis, with the full support of their own government, will eventually get the jobs that we Filipinos once had claim on. Since they will be the priority for vacant jobs, where will all these Filipinos, on visit visas in Dubai and the rest of the Emirates find employment? My own country, currently ruled by Gloria Arroyo must put measures to ensure that workers coming home get some form of support, so they are able to integrate back into the labour market. OCW coopratives and projects that would encourage more and more to opt for a life back home, as millions actually long to do.

But like everything else, it must come from the top down. There must be mandate from the highest governing body - the President. And as I see Aetas being trainned and shipped off to foreign lands, I get a bitter taste in my stomach that whatever it is I longed for will never truly be.

Life indeed is tough so we truly need lots of luck in order to make it.

Angel

2007-04-04T11:35:00.000+04:00

The name of an angel
With a smile that’s like heaven
You look at me and my heart leaps
Happy and nervous at the same time

A face of beauty
That could rival that of Helen’s
Your friendship means so much
I’m afraid you’ll never be mine

My heart’s full of love
Meant for no one else but you
I stare blindly into the darkness
Wishing that you knew

A friend I may be
One who’ll always be so
But more than that, I would love
To love you openly, freely, true.

If only you knew, that I love you.

Al Ain, UAE
in my computer while Barry, my Canadian colleague, is playing Bubbles
4th April 2007
Naisip ko lang while driving
Pwede kayang song? Gusto ko si Bamboo kakanta....

Lunchtime Filipino show still makes me laugh after over 20 years

2007-03-20T15:57:00.000+04:00

One of my fondest memories while growing up in Cebu City is lunching with the whole family while enjoying the happy banter of TVJ on television. Tito, Vic and Joey - the enduring hosts of noontime show "Eat Bulaga" which aired first in 1979 are still making millions of Filipinos laugh up to this day.

From their earliest shows with Chiqui Hollman-Yulo and Debraliz Velasote in RPN 9 they rivalled Channel 7's Student Canteen. They even managed to "pirate" the two female hosts of said rival show; Helen Vela and Connie Reyes. For a short while, Plinky Recto and Ces Quesada shared hosting parts with the trio and later, Christine Jacob and Rio Diaz became their muses.

Now, it is a whole gang of individual shapes, personalities and sizes - contributing to the pot that is filled with memories and fun, indeed their line in Tagalog says it all, "ito ang tanghalian ng inyong buhay" (this is the lunch of your life)! Who could forget seeing little Aiza strut the duckie walk in Little Miss Philippines or the many loves found and lost and found anew by 'bossing' Vic; the romantic marriage of Senator Tito to enigmatic Helen Gamboa and seeing their children especially Ciara who is now host of the same show grow up before our very eyes? Joey's own children Kempee and Chenee also made memorable appearances along with Daria Ramirez and now, Kempee joins in hosting segments of the show. The same goes for Vic's children Oyo Boy and Danica.

Last week, Vic even showed excerpts of Danica's wedding to Mark Pingris. And it was but proper having had the entire Philippines see him from that 'tikling' singer fronting then VST band to the 'bossing' that he is now. His courtship and marriage to Miss D (Dina Bonnevie) was shown in Eat Bulaga, their painful married woes and the many other loves that followed were all visible in the show - if not consciously so - then it was shared as normally as anyone who goes through lifes many journeys. And we watched, perhaps judged, but continued to watch the comedy and the drama that is Eat Bulaga because we know everyone by heart. We know them and have owned them as one of us, maybe we know they live more comfortable lives, go to more lovely homes, drive fancier cars, have assistants and servants at their beck and call - but we know their strengths, their weaknesses, their errors, we have been through the happiest and saddest moments of their lives with them; cried their sorrows, laughed their joy, even created jokes along with them, we have expressions, one-liners, banters that have come from them, popularised by them and shared with them.

My daughter is starting to dance the "itaktak mo" and watches Bulagaan along with me and my husband. The lunch of our life is being passed on to the next generation.

Exporting the aetas, the gall!

2007-03-11T09:26:00.000+04:00

I was just browsing through TFC when I saw a piece on GMA's program of training aetas in technical and mechanical skills and then providing them with accommodation, similar to what it would be like if they were abroad and separated from their families and then, eventually sending them off to Saudi or UAE or Australia to work as OCWs.

OK so maybe the aetas are tired of living the hard life in the mountains and perhaps want to try living in what we may call as "civilised" environment. But exporting our natives is somewhat going too far.

It's bad enough that our own youth are leaving the country immediately after the first sign of opportunity and professionals seeking greener pastures abroad due to lack of similar opportunities in our own beloved Philippines but to send out these native aetas, who may be leaving their homes because:

a) they're being threatened by military exercises/activities or may be caught in the crossfire of military and "revolutionary" forces;

b) there's nothing left of home to speak of what with cutting all the trees and changing all the forest lands into malls and "subdivisions";

c) they've been given "hot-air filled promises" from the current government that they will have better lives earning dollars abroad and would be able to help their families;

Our natives should be given a huge tract of land to call their own, protected by our government from any form of intrusion or invasion so that they continue to cultivate and pass on the culture that is uniquely theirs and part of our roots as a people. Being the original natives of the land we now know as Philippines, aetas should get special treatment from all of us. They are after all the original owners of the islands we now all inhabit.

Just like the Inuit who Canada gave out a large area of land for them to live free as they are, keeping their unique culture and ways for other "civilised" societies and cultures to see....and those native American Indians who have conservation sites and sacred burial grounds intact and protected by US law...we ought to, in the least be doing the same for our aetas - NOT train them to be electricians abroad!!!

We've really been abusing our aborigines for a long, long time; depriving them of their land, destroying their natural habitat, at some point during the US military bases in Clark and Subic, American forces using them as target-practice, in the all-so-innocent-excuse that they (the soldiers) thought they were wild boars(!); and now this, exporting them as overseas contract workers.

Isn't it enough that one in every family of five has an OCW member that we have to include our aborigines to the list? What next? Kankanaey head-hunters as hairdressers in Kuwait? How about the T'bolis as entertainers? oh, oh and yes, let's use the aetas as domestic helpers and let them send dollars back home so we can declare that the Philippine economy is sound, stable and on the rise....

God, how far does this government think they can go and continue to exploit everyone and still have the gall to say, it's been a successful administration?!?!? Successful for whom?

Enough already! Do we keep into office leadership that would even sell the remaining pieces of culture for a few pieces of silver? When is enough, enough? Where do we draw the line and say, "that's it, we've had it!" When?

The Man (another poem unearthed from the past!)

2007-03-07T16:46:00.000+04:00

i saw him again today
we stared at each other for a time
he with all the years etched on his face
all those lines each with a story to tell

i'd like to come closer
and speak to him, touch his beard
feel his face and know the story of each line
share the memories hidden in each aged fold

but i turned away
to go because i've not the courage
neither the daring nor the wit to go near him
couldn't stay and stare, just stare forever

yet i regret
for i'll never see the man again
on the morrow he is going back home
his own land across the sea, far away

perhaps i will
go and visit him one day
when i've saved up enough to travel
and find him in this famous French museum

his was truly
the friendliest face i've ever seen
painted oil on canvas, measured 37 by 43
how i wish, i knew his name.

(found this written on tissue paper with Jollibee logo - must be pre-Jollibee Philcoa days though, more like Jollibee SM or Pantranco, late 80s or early 90s, before 1992)

More for Wadirunner

2007-03-07T16:38:00.000+04:00

Rob's still somewhere in Jordan so my bet's still on...so more "dis-heartening" graphical creations in an attempt to depress Rob and thus drive Tipo to his death....

Regrets, a poetic attempt

2007-03-07T16:33:00.000+04:00

I'm dying in my youth
where am i going?

the fire in me's burnt out
what am i doing?

life's passed me by
I am but one

one life gone, wasted
I've done none

sad, lonely, bitter
i feel my pain

i only wish i could
live life over again

1993
started writing in BRI's office
continued at AS 101, UP Diliman
while waiting for my TCG to be issued.

BRI - Business Relations International, a PR firm in Manila.
UP - University of the Philippines
TCG - True Copy of Grades

For Wadirunner

2007-03-06T12:18:00.000+04:00

This image is done for my old neighbor, Robert Fay who is also known as the "wadirunner" in his travelogue. He's driving a 1990 Fiat Tipo from Al Ain, United Arab Emirates to Ireland. We, his colleagues have a pool going as to where Tipo will croak and thus leave poor Rob, on foot or finding other means of transport. Here are the poolies, wishing "Death to Tipo!"

Melinda Bernabe Nogoy spreads her wings

2007-02-22T14:54:00.000+04:00

Melinda Bernabe Nogoy, May or Mel, one of my oldest and dearest friends in the UAE is leaving at the end of this month to find new pathways in life in another shore: Ontario, Canada.

Oldest because when the PRO of Beach Hotel (now Beach Rotana) picked me off the Abu Dhabi International Airport that fateful day of February 7th 1994 and brought me to the hotel’s accommodation, hers was one of the first four faces I saw when the elevator opened to my room’s floor. This building is where the posh Liwa Center now stands. We used to say, backside old TV building to the taxi drivers to get home from a night of disco-dancing.

We were a trio – May, Marley and me (Mary Ann) – all from UP but at different times; no wonder we never met! We liked wearing the same things as we bought/shopped together. Same leggings with that yellow and white flowery pattern, same jumper – only different sizes: small, medium and large!

She’s the sweetest yet sometimes, human that she is, she can also feel a bit low. There was this one time that everyone in the flat (eight of us, all girls, shared a flat of four room; two girls per room) we all thought she’d died! She didn’t come out of her room – not even to eat, drink or pee! We offered here flowers, food, sweets – right at her door so she would no longer feel bad, sad, depressed. I guess it worked for the next day she was her usual self again.

May is always loyal. When I look back through all the years, she and I have so many pictures together – girls’ night out, desert trips, swims, eating out, parties, etc. and of all the people I know, May is the only one who can sleep on the elevator! When she is sleepy, she can really turn off quickly that one time, we were on an elevator and she had fallen asleep somewhere between the first three floors. When we got to our stop, I think it was the 14th floor, we had to wake her up!

May loves to eat and we enjoy eating – at home, at KFC – we even took the KFC challenge of “all-you-can-eat” chicken from 12:00 noon till 3:00 pm. We once took our lunch break at KFC and for 35 Dirhams, ate all the chicken we can possibly gobble for less than an hour. We got back to work fully stuffed! We often set beach BBQ gatherings with the old staff, and it is also a good chance to meet the new staff of Beach Rotana. May also has a weakness for sweets – chocolates especially the nutty ones. Unfortunately, her skin allergy would break out and she has to control herself not to indulge her sweet tooth so much.

She’s quite picky of who she goes out with. She’s got to know the guy first – before she commits but once she does, she gives her all to the relationship; often only to cause her a painful loss. And yet she’s very matured and graceful about her love life that she’s remained positive about it and looks forward to the real one. We all wish she does indeed find Mr. Right this time – perhaps in her new “country”.

May is very sweet and loving. She really shows you if she likes you by being there for you – she’s the type of friend who will brush aside your shortcomings, even condone your actions (in love) so long as you are happy. No criticisms; she will take you for whoever you are, whatever you are, just tell her the truth.

I’ve known for a fact that when my life seemed to have been going through hell, she was almost the only friend I had left, (and Dennis) one thing though, May is such a bad liar that when you want her to keep something secret; she may be able to sincerely keep it secret until someone interrogates her or catches her off-guard. Then she will, albeit inadvertently, spill all the juice.

She’s very hardworking and takes her job seriously. May’s got a strict and rigid work ethics that she can never be corrupted nor would she succumb to fraudulent means. I think because her integrity in what she does had always been impeccable she’s quite an asset to any organization she’s involved with.

She’s very poised and quite a true Filipina “Maria Clara” in her ways, and yet there is that touch of naughtiness and sense of adventure in her that adds spunk and spice to her personality. She can drink or smoke or go out with the girls and party but to a certain extent. For friendship’s sake, she will go out with you, wherever that may be. One complaint is that she dresses up too slowly! Often she would be the last to take the shower and the last one to finish getting ready for work. We’d have to forego the bus ride and just take the taxi because the bus has already left! If you’ve seen her wear her stockings (stockings are standard hotel wear), you’d know what I mean! Normal people would wear it like socks, put a leg in, pull it up and that’s that. May on the one hand would start at the toe, make sure there are no creases and slowly, in a sort of circular way work through her feet, till the ankles. Then she’d check if the fit is alright and slowly work her way up to her legs and thighs. Watching her makes me feel so tired and sleepy. Thank God she’s not 5’11“ or someone taller! It would take forever!

This same femininity also shows in how she throws a bowling ball. Oh yes it is a strike alright but you’ve got to watch the ball roll ever so slowly towards the pins that if I were one of the pins, I’d just drop dead from the long wait. This is probably why she hits a strike ever so often – the pins die of boredom. Believe me, you can go pee, buy a can of Coke from the vending machine and even re-tie your shoelaces from the time she throws the ball till it reaches the pins.

Yet, May’s got great empathy and compassion for people. She’s also very spiritual and I guess it’s one aspect of her where she draws her strength and aura of confidence from. Her family is very important to her – her parents, her siblings and even her growing number of nieces and nephews. She’s got this great capacity to love and share – and my one wish for her is that she finds that one man truly worthy of her because of all people I know and love in this parts of the world, Melinda is one great woman any man would be proud to claim her as his life’s mate.

Despite the years and the many life decisions that have seemed to keep us further and further apart – before we just lived separately in different flats as we changed jobs, then we lived in different Emirates, now it will be countries apart. But still whenever we find a rare moment to get together – the bond is there, no need to even make an effort – you just know that this is one person is truly your friend and will laugh at your jokes and antics, cry at your woes and soothe you with a loving word or understanding nod.

She had always been happy for the small or large accomplishments I’ve made – always proud of me that ours is a friendship that never stifled one’s being, nor was it too emotionally demanding that one tends to take time out just to breathe. No, it was like a sisterhood, a strong bond that only blood can better – she is after all one that I consider family here in the UAE.

I’ve been so lucky with how my life turned out here in the UAE but I feel that I am truly twice blessed because I have one true friend in May. She is my companion when we worked together – flatmate, lunchmate, locker chatter, cigs-smoking mate, drinking and party mate - I remember one time, we just got back from church one Sunday. We still lived near the Mazda Khadim showroom then. We got off near the Coop – our only mall in Abu Dhabi way back then, and decided to walk home. This roundabout at the Tourist Club Area was just being constructed – so this road was still closed to motorists and many bricks and construction equipment were lying about. We used this area as a shortcut away from the zooming cars – towards home when suddenly this boy of about 12 or 13 came up from behind her and cupped her boobs!!! She froze in terror and shock whilst I was so angry and was trying to look for a good sized rock I can hurl at the pervert juvenile! The boy even attempted to masturbate, the nerve! But he soon ran away when he saw me throw bricks at him – one did get him quite squarely on the shoulder so that was sweet revenge on such a traumatic incident! Once in an elevator, this Arab asshole of a man was harassing her! I think I bursted out with invectives I couldn’t repeat to my daughter’s ears. So our personalities were sort of the perfect opposites that mixed well – I liked telling stories, May liked listening to them. I’m quite loud, May’s the silent type. She’s my captured audience for the many punch lines, absurd stories and even corny jokes that I have. She’s also got a passion for reading which we both share together.

I may have been good at a past life for God to grace me with a friend like May. She’s one person who – despite her own problems, when she hears a good tale would take time and enjoy the story. She’s optimistic about her life and that shows – as she now takes on a challenge. I know she will come through as the winner.

Just as she paved the way for many Filipinos to be part of Rotana, she’s now paving the way for all of us in Canada – Go ahead May, get there first and later, we will follow the path you’ve made. I’m sad to see you go but I’m also happy that you’ve finally decided to spread your wings and test your strength. You go girl! With Internet and Email, surely our friendship will remain in touch and updated….after all, even here we’ve seldom met and kept in touch mostly through emails. It shouldn’t be so hard. Perhaps we too can come visit you there (hint, wink!)

So many memories to cram them up in so few lines. I’ve been going through old photos and I smile at how many friends we’ve made together and separately that I enjoy sharing mine with you as much as you seem to never forget to include me in yours. That’s what friends should be – to continue sharing the joys and sorrows of friends – and to build up stronger bonds, and continue to make other friends….just like what Azura in Barbie Fairytopia said, “strangers are friends we have not yet met.” Indeed this is true. And although friends we’ve met and love dearly may go away and be far from us, the bonds of friendship that ties us to one another shall never cease to exist. We will find each other through life’s road and in time, may even journey together like we did back then.

And I’m glad to have met you – as you have truly enriched my life, gladdened my heart, uplifted my spirits, and added new wisdom to my being. Thank you May for your friendship – I will not say goodbye because to true friends – there is ever only “take care”, I’ll miss you but I will be with you – when you need me, just sent me a return air ticket! If you need some money, ipangunugutang kita! Pag nadapa ka, deadma lang ako sabay kunyari di tayo magkakilala…..pero pag umiyak ka na….asahan mong aabutan kita ng tissue…baka kasi lumobo yung barang sipon sa ilong mo, wa poise!

My dearest Melinda, Mayo, Nogee…magtotorot ang mga kamag anak nyo sa Cabanatuan. Masarap nga pala ang longganisa nila doon….at alam kong hanggang ngayon, may utang pa rin sa iyo yung diver na ex BF mo dun sa Cebu kaya…sige na, punta ka nang Canada – I really look forward to an email or a envelope that would read…

Melinda Bernabe Nogoy and Mr. Good-looking, Loving, Gentleman Canadian invites you to their wedding….

Yun lang talaga pero marami pa pero wala nang time basta amin na lang yon!!! I love you May, always. And I wish you bigger and better things in your next country of habitation. 私は愛し、逃す

Maria Luisa Javier

2007-02-12T09:04:00.000+04:00

She passed away last Friday; a victim of a hit-and-run incident in
Dubai. She just got here last December and started to work for WS
Atkins as a cafeteria assistant only since 4th December. Now she is
dead. She was waiting for the bus when she was struck by a speeding
car. She sustained serious head injuries and was taken to Rashid
Hospital. Yet she did not survive. The driver is still at large. Her
employers have been very supportive despite only being with them for a
short time. There may be a wake in her honor but yesterday, Atkins
Dubai held a one-minute of silence in her memory. How sad and how
tragic. Her family, a brother I think will be coming over to oversee
her "repatriation". It took a long time for any family member to come over since no one has any passport ready and they had to apply for one to travel.

It is very sad, indeed. She is another victim of "the dream": to find a
better life in a foreign land. Sadly that dream only culminated in her death. She's another statistic, another digit in the growing list of casualties who only hoped for a better chance at life for herself and her family. Another Filipino who, unable to find employment in her own country, chose to find it elsewhere.

2007 is elections year and with it, comes the many promises and sweet talk from political figures who will attempt to gain our confidence with strong words and lofty ideals just to get the votes. Despite all these, the queues in the overseas employment agencies, the US or Canadian Embassies, the DFA are getting longer and longer as many would rather put their life at stake and gamble for a life away from their families, earning foreign currency than leave their fate to the politicians who will surely once again disappoint and desert the people as soon as they're sitting in power. Until when are we going to allow our own countrymen - our own daughters, mothers, brothers, fathers, sons - to become a statistic?

Me? An inspirational speaker? Oh come on?!?!

2006-12-12T18:28:00.000+04:00

OK not a joke. This really happened. Imagine an organisation had actually invited me to speak in front of a group of people (about 150+) and give a serious, inspirational speech?!!! Kakaloka!

So I don't know who's sicker, me or them, still probably me! hehehe Because I'm posting here a copy of my speech. Read it but you have been forewarned....I wrote it!

Isa pong karangalan ang maanyayahang maging panauhing tagapagsalita dito sa inyong pagtatapos sa ilalim ng mga kursong handog ng FACE Al Ain ngayong taon. I thank you for giving me this honor and I am humbled by your invitation that I speak to you tonight. Sa totoo lang po medyo di ako sure kung bakit sa dinamirami naman ng mga Pilipinong kagalang-galang dito sa Al Ain eh ako pa ang inyong naanyayahan? Pero naisip kong marahil, meron naman akong maibabahagi sa inyo ngayong araw kaya’t ipagpaumanhin ninyo pero ako po’y magsasalita ng sampung oras! (thankfully the laughed here) Biro lang po, maikli lang po ito. Nais ko lang pong sabihin ay ganito: K Y P M M. Ayun, tapos na. Salamat po. Babay...(acted like I was leaving glad someone asked what it meant)

Ano yon? Ano daw po ba ang KYPMM? Kayo po alam ninyo? Ang KYPMM po ay motto ko simula pa noong ako’y nasa kolehiyo. This has been my college mantra and has proven to be quite helpful to me and to many of my friends who know what it is. Ngayon po ise-share ko sa inyo ang mottong ito. Ang ibig po sabihin ng KYPMM, ay Konting Yabang Para May Marating! Ayos ba? KYPMM!

Kadalasan po kasi sa ating mga Pilipino, napakamahiyain. Punung-puno tayo ng tinatawag na false modesty. Binati ka na ngang maganda, hinampas mo pa yung bumati sa iyo. Nasabihan ka na nga na magaling ka, sagot kaagad, “Naku hindi naman”. Sabay inirapan mo pa yung bumati sa iyo. Pag sinabihan kang, “Wow ang yaman mo!” Sagot agad ng marami, “Naku wala akong pera!“ Hindi ka naman inuutangan, na-impress lang siguro yung nagsabi sa damit mo, o sa bago mong kotse....

Madalas hindi na tayo nakakasabay sa yabang ng ibang lahing nag-aaply kung kaya sila ang napipili sa mga interbyu at hindi tayo. Pansinin nyo ang ibang lahi, makahawak lang ng computer, sasabihin na sa iyo, expert na sila sa bagay na iyan. Hindi ba tayo madalas sasabihin natin sa ating mga CV, “Experienced in handling office machines like computer, etc.” Pero kapag CV ng ibang lahi, Computer expert user. Wow! Pero idaan sa actual, mas madami pa ring alam ang mga Pinoy.

Pagdating naman sa postura, pansinin ninyo ang mga kasabayan nating Asyano. Kahit ba high waisted and mga sinturon ng mga yan, mukhang kagalang-galang....may kurbata pa at naka long sleeves pag mag-aaply. Eh maraming Pinoy, maging mga Pinay – naka-maong, t-shirt, meron nga naka-sandals pa, ni hindi man lang nag-make-up (ang mga girls ha!). Remember that first impressions last. It is also true that first impressions usually get you the job! Kaya po isaisip KYPMM. Konting Yabang Para May Marating. Lakas lang ng loob para malakas din ang dating!

22 years old po ako nang mapapadpad sa Gitnang Silangan. Kasali sa mga unang batch ng mga Filipinos na nakuha ng Beach Rotana sa Abu Dhabi. Ako po ang nakuhang kalihim sa Departamento ng Sales at PR ng nasabing hotel. Although I had been working for a PR agency in Manila, my youth gave the impression that I wouldn’t be able to handle tough decisions. So I used my motto KYPMM to prove to my bosses then that I can indeed step up to the plate. I'd like to think i did a good job there, leaving my former boss to write in my recommendation letter that he will definitely hire me for a much higher position should I want to work for him again. Yabang no?

A client of the hotel offered na pirate-in ako sa kanyang kumpanya na maging Sales Executive sa kanyang shop dealing with Telecommunications equipment. Mas malaki ang sahod ko. Aba go na ako at shempre yes ang sagot ko! Kesahodang wala akong alam sa paglalako ng mga mobile phones, fax machines, satellite telephone pati na rin walkie talkies, fishfinders at global positioning systems? Sabi ko sa sarili ko, mapag-aaralan ko rin ito. Natuwa naman ang bagong boss ko dahil pati pag-install ng fish finder sa mga barko, napag-aralan ko. I joined his company in March, he promoted me as Sales Supervisor in October – in seven months – pinanindigan ko ang yabang ko. I cherish the letter he gave me telling me of my promotion, to this day. Pati ako di ko akalain. It made me realise na lahat ng bagay, napag-aaralan. Basta’t may User’s Manual, kayang basahin at alamin kahit ano pa yan.

At eto po ang pangalawang mensaheng nais ko ibahagi sa inyo. Ang patuloy na pag-aaral. Learning is for life, araw-araw po may natutunan tayong bago. May nakikilala tayong bago at may nadidiskubre sa ating mga sarili, kaibigan, mahal sa buhay at kapaligiran na bago. Kaya patuloy na pag-aralan ang sarili, lipunan, at kakayahan. Katulad po ninyong mga kumuha at nagtapos ng matagumpay sa skills upgrade ng FACE, hanga po ako sa inyo dahil ginusto ninyong madagdagan at ma-improve and inyong mga sarili. Hindi porke’t nagtatrabaho na ay “graduate” na sa pag-aaral. Ipagpatuloy po at ugaliin ang pagbabasa, pagsiyasat sa Internet, pagsanay ng mga iba pang sangay maging sa edukasyon, sining o mga kinahihiligang mga hobbies tulad ng pagluluto, pag-aaral ng bagong linguahe or di kaya pagtugtog ng isang musical instrument, maging ballroom dancing at public speaking. Tayo po ay walang katapusang mag-aaral ng buhay. We are students of life, for life.

Nang tawagan po ako ng Higher Colleges of Technology para tanungin kung iteresado pa raw ba ako sa inaplayan kong position isang taong makalipas na ako’y tindera na ng mga telecommunication gadgets, agad naman akong umoo dahil again, mas malaki ang offer. Shempre marami sa atin mas pipiliin ang mataas na sahod kesa sa position. From Sales Supervisor nga naman, bumalik ako sa pwesto bilang Administrative Assistant sa tanggapan ng Human Resources at Finance. But I did not stop there.

Sa hilig ko mag-aral, kumuha ako ng mga karagdagang kurso – karamihan libre lang sa Internet, para sanayin ang aking sarili sa lumalakas na trend ng Web at Internet. KYPMM at biyaya ng Diyos nang tinaggap ako bilang Independent Learning Technician sa HCT. Wala po kasing promo-promotion sa amin. Kung may bakante, aaplayan mo. Ngayon po nagtuturo ako ng information at learning skills sa mga first year Emirati students, ICDL sa mga empleado ng gobyerno tulad ng ADWEA at Military sa ilalim ng aming Continuing Education Department, at last year, nagturo din po ako ng ICDL sa FACE. Ako rin po ang master trainer ng Online Instructor’s Training para sa mga guro ng HCT Men’s at Women’s Colleges dito sa Al Ain. Estudyante ko ang mga guro namin – mga halu-halong nationalities, field of discipline pati na rin experiences. Wala pong dagdag na bayad, under po ito sa Professional Development activities ng college.

Pero Okay lang....kasi this brings me to the third point na nais kong iabahagi sa inyo. Wag maging madamot sa kaalaman. Ang liwanag ng isang kandila at hindi nababawasan sa pagsindi ng isa pang kandila, bagkus kapag nailawan ang marami pang kandila ay lubos na nagliliwanag at natatalo ang kadiliman. Information changes rapidly that failing to divulge or share it, makes it obsolete. But taking an active role in information and knowledge building, your knowledge and your learning becomes even more powerful.

Kayong mga nagtagumpay na sa inyong mga kinuhang skills upgrade sa FACE, hikayatin ang mga kaibigan sa pagsali rito. Ipagpatuloy pa ninyo ang inyong pag-aaral at pagsasanay na kahit minsan nakakapagod, nakakatamad, ang daming assignment at test, may project pa, pero tingnan nyo naman sa huli, wagi kayo!

Share what you’ve learned and be that candle that lights up the darkness of ignorance by being active members of FACE Al Ain, bilang pa-thank you na rin sa mga nagturo sa atin at tulong na rin sa kapwa nating mga Pilipino. Besides, the more you share what you know, the more you learn from your students. The more you learn, the better you become thru your knowledge and skills. It is a chain reaction that you have begun in your life. It is exciting to know where it will lead you to as well as to what it will bring in your life. Tulad na lang ng mga nakapag-asawa ng mga kaklase sa mga FACE courses! O di ba truly rewarding! Natuto na, nagka-love life pa! Pero walang sisihan at walang soli-an kung matinik si kumander....idaan mo na lang sa KYPMM!

My final message is this: There is indeed strength in numbers but there is power in organised numbers. Tulad ng walis tingting, Oo madami ang kailangan mo, pero hangga’t di mo yan pagbubuklodin, hanggat di mo yan itatali ng sama-sama, hinding hindi mo magagamit bilang walis. Kung tayo ay nagkakaisa sa ating layunin na makatulong sa pag-angat ng kaalaman at kamalayan ng mga manggagawang Pilipino dito sa Al Ain, sa pamamagitan halimbawa ng pag-aaral ng computer at mga makabuluhang software, siguradong lubos pa nating mapagbubuklod ang ating community dito sa Al Ain at higit pa tayong makakatulong sa mas nakararami kung tayo ay regular na miyembro o kasapi ng FACE. Tutal madalas din namang sabihin na meron daw Filipino Mafia….eh di tuluyan na nating buuin itong sinasabing mafia-mafia na ito. Let us be the example to others – let our organised numbers be a force that promotes the Filipino community in the global environment.

Sa pagtatapos po, tandaan lang KYPMM, patuloy na mag-aral, ibahagi ang napag-aralan at mas matibay po tayo kung tayo ay nagkakaisa at sama-sama. These are the traits that I want all Filipinos to be known for. This is what every Filipino working abroad should strive to attain: Self Confidence, Knowledge and skills that is constantly shared and upgraded and the determination to build and be part of a community that brings us all Filipinos united, giving us a sense of belonging, a pedestal of pride, and a piece of home...away from home.

Nagpalakpakan naman sila, siguro para matapos na lang ang mga blah-blahs ko. But I was scared shit! When I got down from the podioum and the stage, my hands were cold, I couldn't breathe and although I was smiling and shaking people's hands, I couldn't remember who they were or what they said. Surreal. It was a different "trip" but one that I'd like to avoid from EVER recurring in the future.

So Long Mr. XO

2006-11-15T16:02:00.000+04:00

Many times we say goodbye to people: whether they be family members or mates we will get to see the next day, or many highschool and college classmates we know we'd see only after a few years down the line. Then there is the goodbye forever. The kind of goodbye we say to sworn enemies whom we'd rather die than be friends again with. Or the kind of sad goodbye to a soon-to-be-EX whom we wouldn't want to cross paths with again because the person brings back too much memories and mixed emotions. Finally there is the kind of goodbye we seal a coffin or a grave with. The one that no matter how painful, is eventually said to all of us.

Today, I'm sad as I say goodbye to a colleague of mine, Mr. Edmund Hennessey who everyone in our school calls Ted. I've decided to call him Mr. XO because of his last name which he would jokingly say, "Yes, I'm such a Very Special Old Prat!" V. S. O. P. or "Of course, I'm Mr. Extra-Ordinary!...Extra-Old, but Extra-Odrinary!"

Our last encounter was a happy one, throwing jokes and banters with fellow library regulars and staff. I never thought that THAT would be our last chance to laugh.

Mrs. XO, Marilyn, has been the model of strength, courage and bravery - she was caring for Ted and still coming in to work, teaching classes like nothing grave is happening. A truly strong and admirable woman!

Ted was diagnosed with cancer a few years back. When I first joined Al Ain Men's College, he was just leaving - going back to Australia because he wanted to be close with his family while battling the big, bad C. Last year, he came back to the Emirates to teach on a part-time basis until he went onboard full-time. He was a very good teacher, well loved by students and admired by colleagues.

Yes, permanent, sad, goodbyes are truly the worst kind of farewell. I just console myself in the knowledge that wherever he is right now, he's dishing out jokes and quick witted snipes and truly having a great time.

Catching Up

2006-11-14T17:35:00.000+04:00

Ok, back in business. So many things to post, catch up on my stuff to put online...I just didn't have much time as I've been addicted to two PC games lately, Neverwinter and The Bard's Tale.

Yeah so what if they're not entirely new games! I enjoy the fact that you can cheat in Neverwinter and change your strength and almost everyhting else so that you don't get to die every few encounters with the baddies. I love doing all the side quests too and hate it when I get stuck with a task I cannot seem to find the right thing(item or person to speak with) to do.

The Bard's Tale is a notch lower than many RPGs but the conversations are good as well as the songs! Charlie Mops, the man who invented beer is not my, my husband's and my 4-year old daughter's favorite song! hahaha!

The lyrics go like this:

A long time ago, way back in history
When all people where just drinking cups of tea
Along came a man, whose name is Charlie Mops
And he invented a wonderful drink
and he made it out of hops

Beer, beer, beer tiddly beer, beer, beer hey!

He must have been an admiral, a sultan or a king
And to his praises we shall always sing
Look what he has done for us
He's filled us up with cheer
The lord bless Charlie Mops
the man who invented beer....

So nice, but on the downside my daughter kindergarten teacher asked me whether she heard correctly that indeed Amber's been singing a song about beer? Apparently she's been teaching the song to her friends!

Oh dear.

Well back to my games now that I've posted a bit of stuff here. Ta!

Speaking of Birds

2006-09-14T13:59:00.000+04:00

Read a subject on a message posted as: The Bird on the UP Seal....
made me think about avian creatures and how, well sad mostly, seeing Jackie Chan's info-spot in Star World about how children are not supposed to play with birds...instead play with the paper (origami) version.

I flashback to my childhood when I remember stealing my elder brother's "tirador" and helping myself to a few shots at resting, even nesting, birds on the many trees that grew on my greatgrandmother's farm. Shameful to admit, but I did some terrible damage to God's smaller creatures back then; removing wings off a beetle, drowning a few ducklings, stepping on a couple of chicks, and yes, hitting several birds. If I only knew then that my own daughter would be deprived of the joy of being able to play with a live creature, I'd have stopped before foolishly plunging into the whiles of my childhood.

Remember when we used to go home from school and just outside the school gates, there would be some vendors squatting in front of some boxes selling real live chicks or small birds painted in bright colours? It cost like P5.00 back then and many of us would save our baons so we could take home a few. My brother and I even managed to care for a couple of chicks that grew to young adulthood! We kept them in a similar box (as the vendors), with the bottom fortified by pages of newspaper. A study lamp served as their "heater" for cold nights and on regular nights, they were just kept near the back of the fridge.

Now, all I can do is tell my little girl stories of how I romped around my Lola Peling's land and played with all sorts of animals. I can show her pictures of it, I can even download films and buy videos about them; but the first hand experience of being able to hold, feed, be biten by, or even inadvertently or purposely stiffling the life off one will just be left to her imagination.

On a lighter (and 'greener') note, if she were a boy, I could perhaps say, "play with your own bird na lang, anak," but imagine how many child abuse agencies would take me away?! When she'll be older (dating age and all) I could say, "play with youf BF's bird na lang, anak" but then VD and HIV are also things to consider. I guess I could say, "dress up your BF's bird na lang, anak" and hand her a pack of colorful Trojans.

Woe to the birds of our time - those which take flight and those which stand upright :-)

Pluto-cracy

2006-09-12T18:08:00.000+04:00

I was sad when Pluto was demoted from its "planet status" about a month ago, given that its size wasn't up to par.

Who decides these things? (Who even bothers about them?)

All my life I've believed on Pluto being a planet. In fact I've memorised the names of all the planets in grade school and even the correct order of distance from the sun. Pluto was kind of cool (literally and figuratively) in many ways - being the last it appeared to be the most polite, gentlemanly and well, considerate of all the planets. Para bang, "sige, mauna na kayo...lahat. Dito na lang ako sa hulihan." [imagine gray-ish pluto smiling timidly here]

Twenty years down the line, it was discovered that Pluto actually exchanges the title of being the last with Neptune, at certain points of their revolution around their respective orbit. I had my doubts then as to the veracity of this finding (baka naman lasing lang yung nag-oobserve nung day na yun) and as a result my indomitable belief in the science that is astronomy has begun to unravel.

Finally, the nail that completed its coffin is the demotion of dear old Pluto.

Since we are - and by 'we' I mean the men and women (and the gay and lesbians and the still undefined/undecided) who study these celestial bodies - making statements based on observations from a distance, isn't there quite a distinct amount of fallibility about them? Observing someone of something at an arms length still brings shortcomings, how much more so if it was a case of being light years away.

So what if it isn't big enough. It still does revolve around the sun like all the other planets do. Even it Jupiter or Saturn may have moons way bigger than Pluto, those bodies do not revolve around our sun.

Clyde Tombaugh must be stomping his feet in indignation and rage somewhere in the great beyond as he was the man who discovered the small planet in 1930. They have reclassified Pluto as a 'dwarf planet' and have even assigned to it an asteroid number, 134340.

How quickly we do away with old views. How easily we discard several generation's belief system despite still being unable to truly confirm the current standard. So like mankind to kick a planet when it's down. Maliit na nga inapi pa!

I'd like to think in a way, Filipinos in general is like the planet Pluto. Kulelat, mabagal ang usad, mapag-kumbaba sa ibang lahi, may kaliitan...yet we plod on, in our purpose - which is generally to have a better life and help loved ones attain that as well - defiant whether we be labelled as anything derogatory like the Oxford's Filipina = domestic helper. We may not be a big a population as China or India, or have a richness in tangible forms of culture like that of Egypt or Greece, yet we have conquered the four corners of our world and continue to carve a little plot of our own self no matter where we may be. We assimilate, absorb, embrace, blend into other cultures, other groups whilst keeping the best (and perhaps even the worst) of being Pinoy close by.

I do believe, we Filipinos are not just a number. I refuse to be just a statistic! So have faith and hang on to dear old Pluto who may yet to come out having the last laugh in the end.

Things I miss in college

2006-08-14T08:59:00.000+04:00

I miss the tapsilog in Rodics. Minsan kumain kami ng bespren ko, nakalimutan naming magbayad. Hinabol kami ng tindera at sa sobrang hiya namin, sobra ang naibayad namin.

I miss the isaw sa may shed lagpas lang ng unti sa Shopping Center sa may likod/gilid(?) ng Kalayaan; yung squid balls sa may cafeteria sa Vinzon's; ang lasagna sa Gloria's sa CASAA at ang sinigang na baboy sa cafeteria ng ISSI kung saan nagbabayad ng tuition fees; pati na rin ang arroz ala Cubana sa...ano nga ba yung pangalan ng isa pang cafeteria sa likod ng CASAA, malapit na sa Educ?

Miss ko na din ang KNL (Krus na Ligas) kung saan madaming beer at inihaw na tengang baboy; ang BBQ at laing sa Beach House - na walang beach - sa likod ng Main Lib; ang piniritong pork chop ni Manang Eds sa shed sa gilid ng Educ, halos tapat ng Narra; o ang fried chiken at ginisang Baguio beans ni Manang Let sa shed sa pagitan ng Kamia at Sampa; miss ko na ang kape at pandesal sa Balara, pati na rin ang nilagang baka na regular na handa sa mga maliliit na karenderia sa kahabaan ng daan, lagpas lang sa mini-palengke, na laging may libreng senorita na saging sa sampung pisong tanghalian.

Miss ko nang magmuni-muni sa paanan ni Andres Bonifacio sa Vinzon's Hall o ang matulog na dyaryo lang ang kumot sa kalawakan ng Sunken Garden, matapos ang isang gabing kantahan cum bonfire/inuman kasama ang mga kaibigan.

Buo at buhay pa kaya ang LBH? Ang Lorena Barros Hall na pugad nga aming mga overnight meetings, pabrika ng nga silk-screen posters/banners.

Miss ko na ang makipag-meeting sa mga kapwa dormers sa tapat ni Oble. Ang matulog sa OSR (Office of the Student regent) sa pinagtabi-tabing silya.

Miss ko na ang tumambay habang nagyoyosi ng walang humpay kausap, kabiruan, ka-chorus ang mga tropang hindi malilimutan. Ang sumulat sa logbook ng Soro o org at makipagkulitan sa bulletin board.

Kahit ang Stacks room ng Main Lib kung saan masarap matulog, at ang Guerrero Theater kung saan madalas manood ng mga plays at ang Film Center na may palabas na pelikula mula sa iba't-ibang bansa, miss ko din sila.

Miss ko na ang tinapay na ang tawag ay "putok" na bandang alas diyes ng gabi isinisigaw sa intercom ng Kamia...."putok, nandito na" at dagli namang tatangkilikin ng mga nag-aaral or gising pang mga dormers. Maging ang yosing benta ni Manang Salve, guard ng Kamia at ang mga kwento sa buhay na kasama sa pagbili nito ay miss ko na rin.

Sa dami ng nami-miss ko siguro kelangan ko pa ng mas maraming kape. Eh kung mag-tsa-a kaya ako?

Philippine National Anthem...handa...awit!

2006-07-01T15:10:00.000+04:00

Here's the orginal Spanish lyrics by Jose Palma, written a year after Julian Felipe's melody had been played to commemorate the Philippines' Declaration of Independence from Spain in 1898.

Tierra adorada
hija de sol Oriente
su fuego ardiente
en ti latiendo esta.
Tierre de amores
del heroismo cuna,
los invasores
no te hollaran jamas.
En tu azul cielo, en tus auras,
en tus motes y en tu mar
esplende y late el poema
de tu amada libertad.
Tu pallebon que en las lides
la victoria ilumino
no veranunca apagados
sus estrellas ni su sol.
Tierra de dickas, de sol y amores,
en tu regazo dulce es vivir;
es una gloria para tus hijos,
cuando te ofenden por ti motir.

Here's the translation by Felipe de Leon, still played to Julian Felipe's melody which is the anthem we know of today:

Bayang magiliw
Perlas ng Silanganan
Alab ng puso
Sa dibdib mo'y buhay.
Lupang hinirang,
Duyan ka ng magiting,
Sa manlulupig
Di ka pasisiil.
Sa dagat at bundok
Sa simoy at sa langit mong bughaw;
May dilag and tula
At awit sa paglayang minamahal.
Ang kislap ng watawat mo'y
Tagumpay na nagniningning,
Ang bituin at araw niya
Kailan pa ma'y di magdidilim.
Lupa ng araw, ng luwalhati't pagsinta,
Buhay at langit sa piling mo;
Aming ligaya na pag may mang-aapi
Ang mamatay ng dahil sa iyo.

And here's the English version that our grandparents sang in school

Land of the morning
Child of the sun returning
With fervor burning
Thee do our souls adore.
Land dear and holy,
Cradle of noble heroes,
Ne'er shall invaders
Trample thy sacred shores.
Ever within thy skies and through thy clouds
And o'er thy hills and seas;
Do we behold thy radiance, feel the throb
Of glorious liberty.
Thy banner dear to all hearts
Its dun and stars alright,
Oh, never shall its shining fields
Be dimmed by tyrants might.
Beautiful land of love, oh land of light,
In thine embrace 'tis rapture to lie;
But it is glory ever when thou art wronged
For us thy sons to suffer and die.

Finally for the "reds" as labeled by the "non-reds", here's one I learned in my college days as an alternative song:

Bayang mahiwaga
Sa malayong Silangan
Alab ng lahi
Di ka pasisiil

Lupang sinira
Bayan ng magigiting
Sa manlulupig
Ikaw ay lalaban

Sa nayon at bundok
Itinatag makabayang pamahalaan
May tilamsik ng dugo
Ang awit sa paglayang inaasam

Ang kisplap ng watawat mo'y
Tagumpay na magniningning
Ang karit at kamao'y
Sagisag na kailan pa ma'y di na magdidilim

Lupa ng araw ng luwalhati't pagsinta
Buhay ay langit sa piling mo
Aming ligaya ng pag may mang-aapi
Ang pumatay ng dahil sa yo

---
Apologies, not 100% sure I've got the correct lyrics to this one; my memory fails me.

OK so now my question is: Which one would you prefer singing? ;-)

Survey said...

2006-06-28T14:23:00.000+04:00

Nervous Habits: eyes darting left and right, sweaty forehead, fast breathing suceeds a long gasp for air...

Are you double jointed: I am a double agent: I work for my husband on one side and my daughter on the other.

Can you roll your tongue: Roll where? I play tongue gymnastics in my mouth, quite necessary, to hone my French kissing skills.

Can you raise one eyebrow: Yes! Yet another must-be-able-to-do to keep life interesting and communications developing.

Can you blow spit bubbles: I try. My toddler can!

Can you cross your eyes: Yes, made my toddler cry the first time.

Do you make your bed daily: I have reached a point in my life where I can afford to have someone make my bed everyday.

CLOTHES

Which shoe goes on first: Always put your right foot forward because it is smaller than your left. You need the bigger one for balance.

Speaking of shoes, have you ever thrown one at anyone? I’ve kicked the back of chair once; also ran so fast one shoe got left behind, and imitated a Karate stance whereby one show flew away.

On the average, how much money do you carry: As many as I can get my hands on them seeds!

What jewelry do you wear 24/7: earrings, necklace, bracelet that my husband gave me

Favorite piece of clothing: Anything comfy and not to fussy.

FOOD

Do you twirl your spaghetti or cut it? twirl on a spoon, not on the plate

Have you ever eaten Spam: Yes, used to be a good commercial on about it in late 70’s in the Philippines. Ate Spam and get spam daily on my email too!

Favorite ice cream flavor: queso real and macapuno

How many cereals in your cabinet: fruit loops and corn flakes

What's your favorite beverage: san miguel beer, diet coke

What's your favorite restaurant: Trader Vic’s, Zen

You cook: Can I cook or which dishes can I cook? Yes I try, my husband does if better. I like cooking Filipino food, dinugguan, kare-kare, pancit, adobo, sinigang. I first learned to cook spaghetti in highschool with the Babebies.

GROOMING

How often do you brush your teeth: twice, morning and before bed. Studies say that it's healthier than 3 times.

Hair drying method: if just at home, I let it hang and dry; if I’m going out, I tie it in a neat bun and let it dry as long as it takes that way, I don’t have time to dry my hair.

Have you ever colored /highlighted your hair: It is one of the most abused parts of my body: colored, curled, straightened, cut, highlights.

MANNERS

Do you swear: I try not to in front of my pre-schooler.

Do you ever spit: rarely, and only to make a statement

FAVORITE

Animal: toss between a bunny or a puppy

Food: Filipino and Chinese food, I also like pasta and makis, and an occasional curry, tikka or shawarma. Eating, that's my disorder!

Month: toss between October and December, Halloween and Christmas!

Day: thank God for Fridays!

Cartoon: The Justice League and Voltes V!

Shoe Brand: I’d like to own a Jimmy Choo and a Monolo Blahnik just to see what the fuss is about; I love Kevin Keys, sometimes Nine West and Milano. I’m not very brand-ish, so long as it’s comfy and looks good on my feet. I always love shoe-hunting in Shoemart and of course, Marikina! Does it show that I’m a shoe addict?

Subject in school: Elementary: English; Highschool: Myhtology and Biology; College: Linguistics and History

Color: red, blue and the one you get when you mix the two: purple.

Sport: I enjoy watching figure skating and gymnastics, I like to be in bowling or mahjong (is that a sport?), I think I will do well, with practice, in bowling or darts.

TV show: Seinfeld, Friends, Alias, lately I got sucked into reality TVs, The Apprentice, The Scholar, For Better or For Worse, Beauty and the Geek, American Idol, Rockstar INXS (Super Nova soon), I also like quirky comedies like Scrubs, Ally McBeal, Boston Legal, Arrested Development. Is it obvious that I’m such a couch potato?

Things to do in the spring: this would be around March-April in Manila weather when things are just starting to heat up, so head for the resorts or the beach or high up Baguio or Tagaytay to cool off. Also there are no classes to hang out with friends but if you’re an adult and working, hit the shops, sale from last winter’s collection should be half the price.

Things to do in the summer: April-May just before the June showers arrive, so head to cooler climes or if you can’t get away, best time to eat halo-halo and ice candies.

Things to do in the fall? June to September are the rainy months and fall would be something like huge, wet, nasty rainFALL! So umbrella, coats, boots, anything to keep you protected and a boat – expect the floods to arrive in waves!

Things to do in the winter?: December – January would be the cooler weather in Manila so best to go shopping for Christmas gifts and be with family and friends.

IN AND AROUND

In the CD player: My car’s CD player has a compilation of love songs I’m getting organised for my sister-in-laws December wedding.

Person you talk most on the phone with: Irog, K

Do you regularly check yourself out in store windows with mirrors? Yes. I like to see if I look fat, and of course, I do!

What color is your bedroom: off white, nearly beige

Window seat or aisle: aisle

LA LA LAND

What's your sleeping position: I begin with sleeping on my right side, I’ve read somewhere that you should squish your heart. But I always wake up sprawled all over the place! Must be my dreams...

Even in hot weather do you use a blanket: yes, but the airconditioner is turned on high!

Do you sleepwalk: only when I can’t sleep dance or sleep strut :)

Do you talk in your sleep: no but my husband and daughter does, so funny!

Do you sleep with stuffed animals: my husband is chunky, looks like a stuffed animal who snores!

How about with the light on: I sleep when and where I sleep, not very fussy.

Do you fall asleep with the TV or radio on: radio or tv, I even fall asleep in front of my computer or in the middle of a mass!

Last interesting person you met: the fishmonger in Carrefour who told me only lactating women buy their clams. I told him I have a husband to breastfeed too! ;-)

2006-06-28T09:25:00.000+04:00

Watched the film 'Munich' a while ago and the odd feeling has been
lingering in my mind and heart. Parang a dose of indigestion, it
worries me...

The movie doesn't really show preference for a side, despite it
being about a particular group's revenge on a particular group's
attacks. But what happens is it implodes - inside you, in your gut
feel - a primal fear or anxiety or imbalance at what our world
really is or what it has been for ages...a battlefield.

Such a scary reality to raise a child and yet we do, with the hope
that eventually things will get better, that people will start being
cordial, civil, forgiving towards one another; that those fighting
for so long against one another would just, in the blink of an eye,
put down their weapons (of mass destruction, pun intended!) and
embrace one another as brothers. After all, aren't we people of one
earth? We bleed just like the rest of humanity, love our family
despite our faults as human beings, cherish what we love in the
midst of all this chaos, just looking for a peace of earth where,
ika nga sa friendster note ni Tacing (hi Tacing!), we can be at
peace?

The image of the woman/assasin they killed left me with sorrow.
There are killers who fight for a cause yet you must wear decent
underwear for unexpected moments like being killed in your bathrobe!

Stop! You f%$#@&*! moron!

2006-06-07T14:19:00.000+04:00

OK. That wasn't really my reaction; more like dumb silence. I went to the bank last week to get some cash and when I was just backing out of my parking, this jerk at the opposite side was backing out too! He just got on his car and backed out, not even caring to look if someone is doing the same or other cars are passing behind...so I honked, and yelled, and both...to no avail.

The silver aquamarine greenish car hit my poor Pegasus (a Honda City) on the driver's side, near the rear door. Arrgh! It was my first accident and naturally I was afraid. The other driver (whom I secretly called "moron") promptly came up to me and apologised. It diffused my anger and, so did, the fear that I am part of a road accident I only witness in these parts.

He tried to convince me that we'll just take my car to the garage and have it fixed and he'll pay for the damages. He too was afraid of getting a record or, worse, have his driving license confiscated. I was adamant that we call the police and I did. I dialled 999, the number to call for emergencies in these parts, and the line was immediately answered by a policeman who assured me he was on his way. Thirty minutes later, my dent-giver was getting impatient and so, he convinced me again to just forget the police and settle it between us. He offered me Dhs 100/- (Php 1,500/-) for my troubles. I declined; dialling 999 once more, where the same policeman assured me he is on his way.

A few minutes more a policeman in bike came by, youngish looking and not a word of English, signalling that he's been around the block looking for the "accident". He wasn't impressed: expecting some blood and gore and major traffic jam, I guess.

Panic and fear set in when they, the moron and Mr. Policeman started talking in Arabic. I couldn't catch a word I could understand, only, "Filipini" - meaning Filipina - and "mushkela", problem. So I called our PRO (public relations officer) who speaks Arabic but he didn't answer. I called our company driver, Vijay to verify our PRO's, Saber, number who offered to meet up with me at the Honda garage. I called Saber again, thime time, successfully. He talked with the police as well as the other driver and the thing was settled.

I needed a report that I must give to my car's insurance company so that they can fix the car. It must be done from within one week of the accident. A few minutes more and I was clutching this pink paper of a report, shaking the hand of the moron and thanking politely Mr. Policeman for his help. See picture below - drawn on the report by Mr. Policeman himself. I am car number 2.

I got into my car and drove off to Honda, my car's dealer as Pegasus was up for her 15,000 kilometre check up the next day. The guy at Honda assured me not to worry and that the insurance will pay for the damages.

What I must do, immediately, is to go to the insurance and hand them the pink report. They will then take pictures of the damage and assess the costs and they will contact Honda for the body works.

And so my weekend passed by going to the car insurance, to Honda and now I am car-less for a week as it will take that long to fix poor Pegasus.

And now the funny part: Vijay who said he will meet up with me was missing when I was at the Honda office. I was looking around for him whilst reporting my woeful experience to the service guy. Honda is part of a huge company called Al Futtaim Motors which also handles Toyota. In fact their showrooms are next to each other. Vijay was at the Toyota office, also looking around and wondering where I was, waiting for me to show up. Thankfully, there are now what we call mobile phones in these parts.

Vijay: "MaryAnn, I'm here. Where are you now?"
Me: "I'm here inside, talking to the service people."
Vijay: "Yeah, I'm inside too, where are you?"
Me: "Here in the service area, come this side."
Vijay: "But I am here in there service area!"
Me: "Toyoto or Honda?"

And so the mystery was solved as the missing Vijay was in Toyota and I was at the Honda service office.

Whew...enough events for one day!

A mother's concern

2006-05-24T14:15:00.000+04:00

I'm half-baked on coming up with a decision: whether to be proud or terrified (for) of my daughter, Amber.

At three years old, she is quite forward in her ways. She knows what she likes and goes for it, and yet, she knows and accepts the consequences that result from her actions. I'm baffled and somewhat in awe that someone so young should be strong-willed and egoistic! She even has the audacity (not the sound software) to tell the father of a boy she likes at school that she, Amber Declan, likes Derek...dear God.

Last night we were at a party my school set up to celebrate the end of the school year. She saw a teenage boy who was Caucasian and she immediately smiled with twinkling eyes. I knew, she liked the boy! What a flirt. She took all of her three year old form to the said boy and asked for his name! I was appalled. My mouth still ache from being held open for the longest time. There I stood, frozen, as my daughter came up to a boy and asked his name...wearing, to what it may seem to her, the most beautiful smile she could ever conjure. See picture below!

At three years old, this all looks cute and endearing. I could even be a tiny bit proud, I suppose. What I'm undecided about it the future. What about when she is 13 and she comes up to a college kid asking his name? What would that say about her then? Worse, how would that reflect on my parenting? Do I stop her gall and ooomph now whilst she's at a tender age or do I let it blossom then snip it when she is older?

Do mommy birds teach their younglings to fly then snip their feathers when they've grown? Can you even unlearn what you've already learned? Is it possible to delete a part of you like how you do in a computer document and save it as a new one?

I watch my daughter grow into the woman that she is going to be and yet a part of me wonders, where do I draw the line? How free would I allow her to be? How much self expression does society accept as normal or tolerable? I grapple these concepts in my butter-finger hands and dread as well as impatiently await the future.

Cuaresma in the Philippines

2006-04-23T11:03:00.000+04:00

A local newspaper recently publish a picture of a Filipino mother and child bathing in, and this is how they wrote the caption: "the polluted waters of Manila Bay." Sure we have pollution and overpopulation and many other problems in our country but for an Easter themed news, but, was this ALL the was to the Holy Week and Easter celebrations in my country? Certainly not. I have since then sent an article to the said newspapers about how Filipinos celebrate the Semana Santa as well as include some pictures I've found online thanks to www.hagonoy.com, clickthecity.com and the Don Bosco websites.

I'd like to share the same content here in my blog, so here it goes...

Easter Sunday is only one day compared to the "Semana Santa" (or Holy Week) or “Cuaresma” which is what we call The Week being the significant culmination of our faith as Catholic Filipinos during the Lenten Season.

All over the Philippines, we begin our celebrations with Palm Sunday, which we call “Palaspas”. People bring coconut palm leaves to church – usually converted into very creative designs – to re-enact Jesus’ triumphant entry into Jerusalem. These are then blessed by the priest and kept in everyone’s homes and acts as protection for those homes as well as an object that wards off evil spirits.

Onwards from this day, people begin to be more somber in mood and deeds, recollecting Christ’s passion and reflecting on how their lives have been for the past year, similar to what some would do during the New Year’s Eve but with more focus on being a person of faith.

Many would practice fasting or giving up of daily indulgences locally called “indolehencia” where for example, if normally you would ride to work in your car; for this week you may consider taking the public transport, at the least, or; if you normally indulge in eating chocolates, you may want to refrain from the habit this week. Other “more difficult” forms are fasting for the entire week, taking only water; refraining from “acts of the flesh”; keeping a vow of silence; and many more. The bottom line is, you make a sacrifice or you give up a worldly pleasure as a way of internalizing your faith and walking in Jesus’ footsteps.

The week also begins the daily “pabasa” or reading of the “Pasyon”. This is based on a book of text originally attributed to Gaspar Aguinaldo de Belen who wrote “Ang Mahal na Passion ni Jesu Christong Panginoon Natin sa Tola” (The Holy Passion of Jesus Christ our Lord in Poetry) published in the early 1700s.

The “Pasyon” is read the whole day from as early as 6:00 am until about 10:00 pm. Most communities would have professional “Pasyon” readers who have made it their life’s pledge to read the “Pasyon” during Holy Week and pass on the responsibility and the privilege to the next generation. It begins with readings from the Old Testament and focuses on Christ’s suffering, death and resurrection in the New Testament. Huge crowds usually gather round the reader to listen and reflect on the words.

The narrative poem is read in a distinct way as each paragraph is 5 lines long and one line has 8 syllables each, giving it a chant-like tune that only seasoned readers know how to articulate. Often the reader, feeling the gravity of Christ’s suffering, would himself or herself be affected to tears. Sometimes, readers would be given access to microphones or megaphones that would project their voices loud enough to be heard through several homes in a neighborhood. Since people are encouraged to be solemn and practice silence, the “pabasa” would float over the community not unlike the call of prayers from the mosque.

As the Pasyon’s “kubol” (tent) us being built so too is a stage for the week’s “Senakulo.” This religious play is spoken in verse giving the lines of each actor a poetic sing-song lilt that is amusing to the audience. The senakulo runs for each night of the Holy Week from Palm Sunday through to Easter Sunday. The theme is always about the life and suffering of Jesus Christ focusing on his final days as a mortal but several senakulo’s by tradition also reflect Philippine socio-political events and may have an underlying political message throughout the plays. Children and adults alike enjoy the senakulo where actors where colorful costumes and add their own personal interpretation to the characters.

Serious fasting and self denial intensifies on Maundy Thursday. Here people take time to be with their families and go to church to remember “The Way of the Cross” – Jesus capture, condemnation, suffering and crucifixion. Eating meat is avoided and people stick to traditional fares of bico (rice cakes), guinatan (sweet yam, glutinuous rice, ube and banana cooked in coconut milk), puto (another version of rice cakes) or just plain bread.

On Good Friday, many would either be in church or stay at home with their families and watch religious programs like “The Ten Commandments” or “Jesus of Nazareth” and continue to be penitent. Several towns gather to witness men and a few women who voluntarily whip themselves while in procession in the streets to the town center where some of them would be nailed and crucified like Jesus. This is the consummate penitentia, being able to walk the path of sorrow and suffering like Jesus did. This has received mixed reviews from many tourists who come to the Philippines to witness this but for the people who actually do the Penitentia, they are more concerned with their internal struggle to be like Christ even to be crucified like Him. Some have even done the Penitentia more than once and has become an annual ritual of self-denial, sacrifice and spiritual rebirth. Many Filipinos opt not to bathe on Good Friday given that Christ died on this day. Also on this day, the parish priest of each community would select several community members to act as the apostles. He would then proceed to wash these men’s feet and anoint them with oil as Christ did to his own twelve apostles.

Black Saturday is marked by the Visita Iglesia. Families would visit the “holy bier” of Jesus in as many churches as they can afford to visit. In our family, we try to visit thirteen churches on this day within Metro Manila. Famous stops are the Baclaran, Quiapo and Intramuros churches in the Manila area, others would be churches meaningful to our family like our parish church, the parish church where we went to school, St. Anthony in Singalong; the church where my parents got married, Pope Pious near Luneta, added to the rest that are accessible or en route to family and friends homes because visiting relatives and friends is one of the do-ables in Filipino Holy Week. A recent addition to our “to be visited” list is my husband’s parish church, Holy Family in Roxas District, Quezon City and the church where we got married, Our Lady of the Airways in Paranaque, near the International Airport.

It is actually on Black Saturday that people, who did not bathe on Good Friday, take a communal bath either in the rivers and seas all over the Philippines or in their homes. Many believe that if you jumped up and down on Black Saturday, you would likely grow taller in the year. From 10:00 pm, people may take meat especially young children and not doing so may cause you to suffer from an illness within the year.

In the evening, many people would be in their parish church to pray and hold a vigil. The Rosary would be prayed continuously as people remember Mary, Christ’s mother in her most trying times. The mass at midnight begins with all the lights turned off and a candle held by each attendee is lighted until the whole congregation is bright from all the burning candles.

At dawn, we have the Salubong where a procession carrying the image of Mary meets a separate procession carrying the image of the Risen Lord Jesus. This is followed by mass where people renew their faith as was recited to them during their Baptism. At home, families gather together in what would be similar to a Christmas feast and would indulge children to Easter egg hunts as well as sweets and even presents.

Concurrently in Marinduque, one of the cities in the Philippines (located in a separate island), celebrates the Moriones Festival on Easter Sunday. This is a colorful mardi gras that follows the life of a Roman Legionnaire, Longinus, who became a Christian convert during Christ’s “way of the cross” and crucifixion. Performers dance and act in the streets and are dressed as Romans wearing toga and the legionnaire’s outfits all wearing colorful masks. It ends when Longinus is captured and beheaded for his faith.

======

As you can see, Filipinos do not just bathe in the polluted waters of Manila Bay. They relive the joys and sufferings of the Christ Jesus through a whole week of reflection, worship and self denial culminating in a meaningful reaffirmation of faith and joyful celebrations.

Belated Happy Easter to all.

Amber's First Day at School

2006-04-08T15:08:00.000+04:00

Woke up at 7:00 am sharp. Amber was excited she couldn’t eat! Wow even her milk, she declined. Grabe na ito! Papayat na ata sa wakas ang biik ko! hehehe

A quick morning wash she dressed up in a new dress with red vertical stripes quite similar in look to the school’s uniform. Her uniforms were not ready yet. Wearing her school shoes, new socks and a new frock she posed with her bag for some snapshots as we prepared her school snack box. I packed biscuits, cupcakes, a strawberry jam sandwich she particularly requested the night before and some strawberry milkshake and water.

Kate and I took her to school and we were early. She sat on her desk, painted pink, and patiently waited for the other students to come and excited for her class to begin. We loitered around the playground for a while, taking glimpses of how she is behaving. One time I peeked, she had one leg up on her desk, examining her shoe. She put it back down quickly. Second time I looked; she moved to the farthest (in the back) desk in the room and was looking at the pictures on the walls. She moved to probably get a bigger view, or to give the front seats to the other arriving students, how thoughtful!

By this time, we’ve been in school for about 30 minutes when the Supervisor told us that if they are settled and in the class, better go and let them be. Seeing parents lurking around may incite children to feel more anxious. So we left, taking our last glimpse of Amber Declan. She was looking like Gromit but without her arms folded together. (The Gromit look is one she made up after seeing the animated Wallace and Gromit movie. Since the dog does not talk, he has many facial expressions, one of them Amber had perfected to a tee.) Her look may be because she’s eager for something to happen, or she’s still a bit sleepy from the early wake up call. Whatever it was I will never know as Kate and I drove home.

At 12:00 noon I rushed back to school to pick her up. Now she was seated at the front right side of the room and immediately stood up and grabbed her bag saying, “My mommy is here, bye teacher Sabina!” and went out the room without a second look.

I told her we have to go pick up her uniform because it is now ready and on the way she said, “Mom I enjoyed school today. Look I have a star and a smiley face”, showing both backs of her hands to me proudly.

In the car, she said they were made to color a flag and a kite. They also made a circle and played some games.

When we got home, she was pretty hungry. Checking her snack box, she only drank her strawberry milk and ate the small cake but barely took a bite off her sandwich. We tried on her new uniform and she posed for more pictures.

She said, “Mom a boy teased me today.” Alarm bells went ringing in my head and asked her, “So what did he say and what did you do?” My daughter laughed and said, “I couldn’t understand what he said but he looked really funny!”

Asked whether she wants to go back again tomorrow, she simply affirmed, “Yes.”

Awww, my baby is growing up into a school girl. I’m so proud and happy.

First time in school

2006-04-03T13:16:00.000+04:00

My daughter starts school on Saturday. I don't know who is more excited, her or me. We've gone to get her books, went for uniform fittings - which she will hopefully get before school starts - and bought school bag, lunch box, pencil case, the works. She chose her own things and being three and highly influenced by Barbie and Walt Disney, you can see the stuff she's got: Carebears back pack that matches her pencils (given by her Auntie K), Fairy tale princesses lunch box that matches her pencil case...everything in pink! OK so it's not my favorite color, but then again, it's not for me :-)

My little girl is fast growing up. She's making her own choices. She's starting off into the world making her own discoveries and relationships that may not necessarily include me. I'm scared for her but I'm proud too. At three she has decided that she wants to go to school. She's been good at waking up at 7 am each day for a month now. She may have slipped a few times and called for an extension but overall, she has accepted the new routine because she wants to be in school.

Today, we went for an Orientation at her new school and parents get orientated separately from their children. When we got there, we were the first to arrive for the 11 o'clock session so she bravely entered her classroom where she met her teacher and sat like a proper, well-behaved student. I can see a bit of apprehension on her face especially when I waved and told her that I will be in another room for the parents' orientation. Her wave was unsure but held all the bravery a three year old could muster.

After the 45-minute presentation and a bit of Q & A from parents, we all went back to collect our kids who've had an orientation of their own. My daughter being the first to arrive is not seated at the back. Still well-behaved, still dry-eyed. Approaching the room, you can hear squeals of other children - frightened and looking for their mother or father. I stepped back a bit, expecting one of them to be my own, but she's strong. I can't deny her relief and happiness when she saw me. She stood up and ran to me shouting, "Mommy!" Outside her classroom she looked intense when she asked me, "Mom, why were my classmates crying?" How do I answer that?

As I slowly let her go to be the person that she wants to be, a part of me wants to hold back just for a little while longer. Soon I will no longer be the source of all knowledge and wisdom for my growing toddler. Soon, I will hear her say, "But mom, my teacher said...." or "Yes, but my friend said....." Yes, how time truly flies. My little girl is slowly coming into her own - starting at school.

So this coming Saturday, I'm not really sure who will be more teary-eyed at the school drop...me or Amber.

Drinking session humour or not

2006-03-20T16:37:00.000+04:00

This really happened.

One time Oliver and I were out drinking...and this happened when we were already parents, he mentioned about what he'd do if he was a part of the landed elite (panginoong may lupa). After his plans of you know, giving acres and acres to his family and the poor, I told him this option:

What if you were super duper rich and you had this vast tracks of land to do away with? I'd suggested he get himself some Aetas who are really pint-sized (pygmy) and plant them on his soil. Use every technology and science that his money and power could afford and make them tall.

A bit racist or at least anti-sector-ist?! But at that time it was sooo funny. Maybe it was the two parts vodka one part lime that did it.

But just imagine. You get rows and rows of Aetas and feed them, care for them, make sure they don't budge until they grow an inch. And send them off....Then again, you'd need individual green-house types to protect each one from the elements. They can poop standing or sitting, good fertiliser!

OK, I'm a bit on the far side but like I said it has its humorous side. Or maybe it is in the delivery?

O heck, you decide...or not.

Tee hee!

Slow Motion Suits the Desert Best

2006-03-07T16:16:00.000+04:00

In my previous blog I had a theory about how locals drive the way they do. I also stated that the speed they drive in inversely proportional to the speed they walk or move. This had some direct relations to the size of their feet.

Further thought and several real-life brushes with "evidence" have shown that there is also the memory of it all engraved in one's genetic memory and passed on from generation to generation.

Because desert weather can be terribly hot and dry, desert dwellers of long ago have perfected the technique of moving that results in the least amount of persipiration and therefore preserving water within the body and avoiding dehydration. This trait or habit has been passed on to desert dwellers of today who now have air conditioning and yet the memory of that particular basic survival technique still lingers. In fact it still is of some use come scorching summer time - in the months of June till September. Slower movements ensure that perspiration is kept at minimal levels and moisture within the body lasts longer. In days prior to plumbing, being able to move like a sloth means you will live longer!

So the next time you see the locals walking in slow motion, just remember Darwin's theory of survival by natural selection and evolution.

And don't think it's the heat wave giving you visions of really slow moving people or the stick of dope you had at hit at in college (no high lasts THAT long!) it's just...well...people doing what nature MUST make them do: move slow to survive.

Still despite really slow movements, they come much earlier than most brisk-walking Pinoys who have concocted the infamous "Filipino Time" which is two hours later than the set time. But then, that's another blog I have to do in the future :-)

13 and round!

2005-12-31T13:24:00.000+04:00

New Year’s Eve is as busy as Christmas Eve is in most Filipino households – the cooking and cleaning that comes – as the old year ends and the new one begins. Filipinos believe that you must cast away the bad and begin with a clean slate each year, that’s why New Year’s resolutions are very common, too common that at times these are taken for granted.

Many a home will have been cleaned spotless and polished to welcome the New Year. I remember in our family, all dirty clothes must be washed and pressed otherwise; your entire year will be soiled and crumpled like your soiled and crumpled clothing. As the home is cleaned, so should be the body. My grandmother used to bathe us with lukewarm water and scrub us not with the soft washcloth but the hard (ok smooth but still hard!) stone. Every bodily nook and cranny is reached, cleaned and rinsed in grim businesslike manner. This is the best time to get a haircut, as well as sport on new clothes. One must wear polka dotted clothing or stripes as these represent money. Many would wear red for prosperity.

Then there is the mad dash at the green grocer’s to complete a basket of 13 different rounded fruits. No pineapples as the spikes represent hardships, none of the sour ones as they represent bad luck for the entire year. So ripe atis (custard apple), though sweet is not acceptable because its surface is not smooth. Bananas, though they are sweet and smooth are not round! Therein lays the dilemma. In a country where local fruits are but few in the December-January season and the only foreign alternatives are the good old apples and grapes, how can one come up with thirteen?! But yes, people do come up with the required number but have to do a bit of rationalizing. Many have added the humble coconut because it represents a “waste not, want not” attitude. Every part of a coconut is usable – drink the juice, eat the meat, use the husk for firewood or to mount your orchids in, the hard shell can be converted to bowls or spoons of if really careful, can be like a piggy bank of sorts. The entire tree is usable for wood, the leaves as roofing and the thin, long spines are bunched up together to be the ever useful ‘walis ting-ting’ (stick broom) an every home must-have – good for cleaning cobwebs, sweeping earth, and even scaring wild boar.

So joining the centerpiece of fowl, fish, and pork or beef cuisine is the ‘basket of bounty’ laden with 13 rounded fruits. It is also wise to have a dish each of fish, fowl, pork, and beef and for good measure and to represent long life, a noodle dish to ensure that the entire year would indeed be bountiful. Having had to come up with such a spread for the occasion however, is sure to deplete funds in the coffers of even the wealthiest Filipino and thus defeating the purpose of the wish to be prosperous as the New Year starts.

Yet that is the Pinoy way, begin with a bang, everything fresh and clean, no expense spared and tomorrow begins the reality that a new year has 365 days.

Well fruits are soft and easily rot. Perhaps it should be 13 nuts instead of fruits. For nuts are hardy and strong and can last much longer than ripened fruits do. Also nuts represent health and intelligence – which perhaps we need more than the hopes for prosperity. So instead of wishing to have a really prosperous year, let’s with for a year where we can be truly smart and use our thinking caps daily and be wiser so we learn from our mistakes and move on.

Wishing you all a nutty new year.

The trimmings of Christmas

2005-12-28T16:18:00.000+04:00

I find that being a parent adds a new dimension and twist into my Christmas season. When once before I had thought of good things to give my loved ones, I now have to consider the things I give my pre-schooler. Then there is the religious side of the season that I must also share if I would ever hope for her to grow up as an individual with a set of values and beliefs, and, well there is also that man on the red suit. Probably much more dominant in the mall and media scenes than the baby in the manger.

And so I began the season telling my daughter that Christmas is the birthday of Jesus. This ties in very well with her birthday being also in December. She understands now that birthdays are special days and that one must go and hear mass during one's birthday. It also helped that Christmas fell on a Sunday this year.

I also told her about the story of Christmas. And boy was it difficult. How do I even begin to explain Mary and her virgin pregnancy? So I told it the normal way, that Mary and Joseph fell in love, got married and travelled to Jerusalem to visit their ancestors. Similarly, I showed that we anually go back to the Philippines to visit loved one and friends. Reaching Manila, we sometimes stay in hotels or at relatives' homes. In Joseph and Mary's case, they were just unlucky not to be able to find available space but some good person gave them the manger. At this point I was interrupted by a tiny voice, "Mom, what's a manger?"

Thus the Christmas story diverts a while to pictures and drawings of animals and the different food receptacles they have based on size, diet and food preference.

Then finally baby Jesus was born and three wise men from the East came to bring presents. The names were as challenging to teach (try letting you 3 year old pronounce Balthazar properly!) as well as the gifts they brought a challenge to explain! "Mommy, why did they not bring some toys for the baby Jesus?" my little one blurts out as she closely looks at my kindergarten-like drawings of the wise men. Why not indeed! So I fumbled a bit and came up with another mini-story of my own creation that the baby Jesus needed the gold, to make his crown when he is of age (like Simba) and frankincese and myhrr are also needed for the crowning ceremony. I can see she has not totally bought into my answer but tries to be polite.

Then the shepherds came and sang with the angels and where do I put Santa?

My husband did not grow up in a household where Santa visits at Christmas. Yet I was steeped in Santa lore. I remembered making Valentine's Day card for Santa just to remind him of the presents I wanted and that I was being such an especially good girl that year. Even when I discovered my mom and dad wrapping the red bike for my younger brother and signing it at Santa Claus, I still believed he just asked my folks to sign it on his behalf. We were after all in the Philippines, in Cebu City at that time and he had to cover the United States and the rest of the world!

So I continued my Christmas story with the angels giving gifts to all the people. (Heck if my daughter will believe in a Santa, why the hell not in angels!) And this became a tradition that passed on to every family until today. So when Jesus left the Earth (and she knows about dying having had just my dad passing on) he left other people in charge of giving gifts to the people. One person is Santa Claus. Aha, there goes the tie-in! But only good kids get presents. The naughty ones do not! And her eyes grow just a tad bigger as she affirms, "I'm a good girl, mom."

Then it makes me realise that convuluted and complicated our made-up stories can be to entertain and partly educate our kids, it still comes down to the basic tenet of, "being a god person is important and will reap rewards." And as we open these "rewards" on Christmas day, another truism comes forth - these may not be the 'rewards' we want to deserve but these are what we received and for that, we should all be thankful.

May the spirit of giving and forgiving continue to reign among us, even and moreso after Christmas.

He sure did it his way....

2005-10-08T15:55:00.000+04:00

Alfredo Pena-Montilla Villaruel Jr lived a full life. Probably anything you may have thought you must do, he had done. The good, the bad and sometimes, even the ugly. But he did them all in his own terms. Even dying.

My father was diagnosed with a tumor in his temple in 2002. His doctors told him that the growth of the tumor was so slow that it could probably be really harmful to him by age 85. And of course, who knows if natural or even accidental causes may result in fatality even before reaching such an age...that the family decided to leave the tumor untouched. That plus the statistic of a 70-30 success rate, 30 being the success ratio. So with diet and medication and alternative healing, dad struggled and fought his nemesis. At one point he was doing rather well, in fact we all thought he had it down and managed it well. Until the seizures occurred. They we not unlike epileptic seizures and you can see each attack does cause pain. One serious attack left him in hospital for almost a week. One recently left him in a coma for a couple of days. And still he fought. He wouldn't let cancer get the better of him.

I visited him last July 2005 with my two year old daughter and he played with her and even teased her despite limited bodily movements. The emaciated shell could never really give justice to the strength of character encased within. And boy did my dad keep his sense of humour intact!

His memory was failing him, medications resulted in Alzheimer's, and he at times would not remember who are the people around him but when I asked him who I was, he said "You are Grace." and smile. I told him there were two Graces in the house, my sister-in-law also being a Mary Grace...and asked whether he knew which Grace I was, which name preceded Grace. With a wink, he answered "Well, I'd really like to remember!" And we all laughed - him included.
One time I was helping him walk towards the bathroom and asked whether he wanted to "do number 1 or 2". He replied, "Whichever comes first." And laughed like an imp.

My daughter was eating her breakfast cereals and he would reach into her bowl to get a few spoons to tease her - testing whether my two-year-old would protest or cry. This he did while he had extreme difficulty making arm movements at all!

Nonong, as he was fondly called by family and friends, to us his "children" we called him Dagda. Having only one biological offspring, he and his wife Connie took several of Connie's nephews and niece (that's me!) under their wings. Although I was not officially adopted, he was my father since the age of three.

Dagda taught me how to love languages. When we lived in Cebu, he took up French at the Alliance Francaise to learn the language. That's when I meet Asterix and Obelix for the first time and fell in love with the French language. His "larger than life" Hispanic ancestry also made me interested in Spanish and influenced what course I took in University.

He was a cool dad. He'd take Alvin and me to museums, build and fly gigantic kites, wash the car on weekends and visit zoos. Without fear, we'd take on the road and travel unknown highways with just a change of clothes and a towel each. Every weekend was an adventure to either a camp or swimming pool (Camp Marina in Cebu) or the glorious white-sandy beaches of Cebu.

I learned to love Frank Sinatra because of him (Although I hated it in highschool). Each day, he'd come home from work and after dinner, he'd ask the maid or my elder brothers or me to buy him three bottles of beer. Whilst listening to "Old Blue Eyes" he'd sometimes sing along while slowly enjoying his SMB (San Miguel Beer). On weekends he'd have his friends over, like Jun Hover or Ramon Casa or Papa Jess Betia, all of whom have passed on before him. It just surprised me one day when I was talking music with some friends in Abu Dhabi that I knew almost all the lyrics to all Frank Sinatra songs! Unconsciously, I had memorised them while I say in the dining table doing my homework as my dad was listening to them, all night, 24/7.

I loved sharing books to read with him. He liked Isaac Asimov and Carl Sagan and loved Sci-Fi movies. We all watched battlestar Gallactica, Star Wars, Close Encounters, E.T. and many similar movies oh yes and all the old Superman movies with Christopher Reeves in the lead. He'd leave books he's reading lying around the house. He'd often read several books at the same time. So you can pick up a dog-eared book and make your own bookmark somewhere. Even when I took activism seriously in college, I started leaving leftist reading materials around the house, he too shared in reading them so he could understand what it was that I was so focused into. He'd start conversations and disucssions about this too!

Dagda also like being happy. We shared "You Could Die Laughing" by Gary Lising's book many a times and laugh out loud. We'd watch comedic sitcoms like Mork and Mindy and TV and laugh as he would try to imitate Mork saying, "Nanu, nanu!"

He was a great cook. Who could ever forget lazy Sundays with his French toast or his delicious lengua estofada? His very own nilaga (with bone marrow) still leaves my tongue all watery. He also made a mean sopa de ajo with old toasted bread.

He had the gift of being a green thumb. He'd buy these books on how to grow ampalaya, castor, sigarillas, garlic and try to plant them in plots over our house. He'd often succeed too! In his white sando and shorts and rubber slippers, he'd happily till the soil, plant the seeds and water them until they bear fruit.

His business ideas were ahead of his time. I remember sometime in the 80s he talked about bottled water and nobody thought it would be such a hit. Look at us now, so dependent on bottled waters all over the world. He talked about garlic and dried tomatoes then too, and look how big an industry sun-dried tomatoes are today!

He was a great artist. He painted in water colour and oil. His impressions of Bacolod Park and Manila in the 70's whne he eloped with Connie were breathtaking! Sadly, he never got to paint again.

He was trying to write a novel about Alejandro, Faustino and Isidro Villaruel and had convinced me to help him. We've had a few drafts and exchanged emails but he got sick and we dropped it off. I will try to complete this as a promise fulfilled.

But for all his grand plans and talks, he had his feet firmly on the ground. We never missed a Sunday in church as a family. He led by example, that hard work, integrity and honesty will get you top marks.

When he got sicker, he would worry that we would be unable to cope. He didn't want to be a burden. He was a fighter till the end. Last July, his doctor told mom that he'd be lucky to live past his birthday which was August 2nd. He outlived that "deadline" a few more days.
His remains now lie in The Holy Trinity chapel in Paranaque. He will be cremated tomorrow so that mom can take him with her anywhere she decides to settle.

No matter how kindly or badly life dealt him the cards, he chose to do things by his own rules, like Sinatra's classic song, yes, he sure did it his way.

I love you Dad and I will miss you forever.

UAE Driving Theory

2005-06-28T15:34:00.000+04:00

They drive so fast yet walk ever so slowly....now I know why!

There is common whine among expats living in the deserts against the local arabs of the UAE: they are very fast and often dangerous drivers; and yet and this is speaking of the local students in particular, they are quite slow walkers and this is even reflected in their general actions – they walk ever so slowly like the world could cave in and they just don’t care! Finally, I have come to see some bleak yet disturbingly probable explanation. Here’s my take on this local phenomenon.

Driving fast like crazy kamikaze dingbats out of hell.

They are still used to camels. And boy can camels run! If you’ve seen horse races, well camels can give some of the horses a run for their money when it comes to speed. So a local arabo would still feel like he is riding on a camel, that – by instinct – can avoid collision with other camels or objects that may obstruct its path.

You’ve got to see one of these locals perched on his 4 x 4, one leg up one foot on the accelerator, a hand on the steering wheel and the other on a mobile phone talking loudly to his pal who could be driving as well.

Another near-death experience would be two locals trying to outrun one another in the 4 x 4s or one running so close behind another that a small step on the brakes would bring them into collision. These guys think they’re in a camel race!

Another reason why the arabos do not fear meeting death on the roads is the fact that for them, by their faith, one immediately goes to heaven when one dies of an accident. Especially if you drive like crazy and died on the holy month of Ramadan. You will surely go to heaven! Wow, you’ve gotta hand it to these guys about how strong their beliefs are! Yeah right, even if your were such an asshole to everyone but yourself, so long as you died of an accident (since you were THAT assholic, you’d have probably caused he accident anyways!) you go straight to heaven. Bloody convenient, don’t you think?

This year alone, over a hundred deaths have been caused by collisions of speeding cars, predictably driven by local arabos and sad to say, the ages are from 18-35. The youth of this nation is slowly being destroyed by their heedlessness of traffic signs and disregard for road safety.

In the course of a semester, you see several students whose legs are in casts or walking with arms on slings or with crutches. The reason, aside from the most common, football, driving mishaps would come a close second. Scary and real!

Big, heavy feet.

I’ve often wondered about the speed at which these arabos drive and it finally dawned on me looking at my students sandaled feet. My gosh, these people have huge feet! They’ve got huge toes and really stocky feet. The use of sandal left their feet unencumbered by shoes and so their feet grew larger than people wearing shoes all the time. Imagine a “maglulupa” and his feet so adapted to the land, so is an arabos feet – so adapted to the heat and sand – sturdy, strong, humongous.
Which could explain why they walk so slowly...their paces slowed down by the size and weight of their feet. So too would explain why they drive fast, their feet are so heavy, once they step on the accelerator, the gas just gears up from fast to very fast to ridiculously-dangerous fast!

The speed of their walk is inversely proportional to the speed of their driving which is directly proportional to the size of their feet. Good scientific-like explanation to a real desert mystery. How’s that for a theory?

More on this next blog.

Miss Universe

2005-06-13T08:36:00.000+04:00

The Miss Universe 2005 pageant had been held over a week ago but well, being in the desert, some telecasts are a bit late in these parts so I just watched it last night. I think I'm not alone when I say I am both reproachful of but also magnetised by beauty pageants. Not only are women showcased like commodities, they are also condescended and blatantly exposed in a 'let's indulge her as we gloat and indulge ourselves' kind of way. It's psychotic. But each year, I never miss watching it since as far back as i can remember. Why? Because everyone watches it. Everyone may have a variety of opinion about it but everyone sits in front of their television sets, eyes glued to the screen as each and every contestant representing her country sashays in wearing her bathing suit, evening gown and national costume.

Strange enough, in my own small, insignificant sphere of the world as we know it - you'd think a lot more men would ogle at these ladies in swimwear but no, it is a fact that more women do. And the comments? "She got wide hips." "Oh she's got a funny nose." "Look at her legs! There like a man's" and many more.

And I'm sure in the dressing room, behind the scene - having watched Miss Congeniality and the like - these beauties would also be in bitchy mode, going at each other like a cat protecting its territory. Yet the contest continues as well as businesses from hair remover to diamonds, masscara to evening gowns...And many other versions have sprung from them like Miss Teen something, mother and daughter pageants, etc. like we can never have enough of them!

One change I've noticed though was how smaller and smaller the world has become. With inter-racial unions, you now have several generations of mullatas, hybrids of a sort that are Amerasians, Eurasians, African-Caucasian mixes. So you have a Miss India who looked like she came from England and a Miss France wholooked like Miss Jamaica. Many an established western countries had representatives that would have a tinge of Eastern European in them - probably a Bulgarian or Russian blood somewhere the family tree.

Imagine later on, if this continues, we'd have no well defined face for any country (except those that would like to keep their bloodline pure, Achtung!) and instead consider beauty in a more general light.

When that time comes, perhaps representatives from Naboo and Tatooine may also join us as the term "universe"...does include their sectors too.

Car, please!

2005-05-29T15:03:00.000+04:00

Long time no blog. OK so now every car I see drives me to the point of feverish, mouth-watering, car-less maniac that I am. I want a car but unfortunately cannot afford one. I've called up some ads, emailed further queries to a few more, visited the showrooms just to drive myself more into the insane car-craving mad-woman that I am at this point in time of my life. Car me!

This blog serves as a plea to all you friends and associates of old and recent encounters to please - phu....leez! the operative word being: read between the lines! come up with some sort of financial scheme to get me car-ized and driving! I have three second hand yet not too old vacuum cleaners. What if I made out raffle tickets towards those? Do you think someone would be witless enough or ehem COMPASSIONATE enough to purchase a few stubs? All for a good cause mind you...I can give you a lift anywhere else in Al Ain you'd like to go - and on weekends, Abu Dhabi, Dubai and Sharjah can be included in the itinerary. Of course for those of you who aren't in the UAE, you can send money order or checques to my office address...hehehehe. Email me and let's coordinate :-)

Since, if I had a car, I'd be one of the many who helps pollute our environment and cause global warming, you can then dump some of the world's pollution problems on me. Fair enough trade off don't you think?

Oh that depressingly pathetic song comes to mind again: "I'm not an actor, I'm not a star...and I don't even have my own car..." Jeez!

New Tarrif and Customs Quota for NAIA

2005-05-02T12:33:00.000+04:00

The Ninoy Aquino International Airport has passed a new Tarrif and Customs law effective 1st May to mee the new quota for the income of the airport which is Php 1,000,000/- per day. According to an article from the Manila Bulletin sometime in April, anyone arriving into Manila will be stringently checked to ensure that taxes can be charged onto incoming products brought home by either "balikbayans" or tourists. The new code includes clothing, jewellery and personal effects, electronics, etc...practically everything that you bring will be subject to tax. The alarming thing is why the need to reach a quota, even why set a quota at all? As if sending money home each month isn't enough, Filipinos going home will have to shell out dosh as soon as they land on the homeland's airport.

Somehow the cost of going home each year (or bi-annually) is getting steeper and steeper. Perhaps some if not more will soon opt not to go home at all. Sadly we are losing so many of our very own because of money-making schemes like this.

Gasping, Lisps and Stutters

2005-04-27T18:42:00.000+04:00

Why is it that the word gasping sounds like you really do run out of breath? Also why do we call it a lisp when people who do have it couldn’t even pronounce it? Perhaps it is to determine if one really does have a lisp. The lisp test. When one walks up to you and says, “I’ve got a listhp.” Then you know, for sure that the person has it. Unlike other defects where one can say I’ve got scoliosis but actually their shoulders are just achy from too many mouse clicks on the Internet.

Most people with stutters have problems with what we call in linguistics as the “stops” that’s your /t/, /d/, /p/ and /b/ for example. So why call it a stutter when you know that surely, the person suffering from one would stutter?!?! Again the stutter test. “Do you know that I stu...stut-stut-stutter?” Yes. There is no other explanation. That must be the reason...to really confirm the problem.

So why not call bulimic people as “bwaaaaak”? So they can come up to you and say, “You know, I’m bwaaaaak.” and smother you with their vomit? I guess that would be too gross.

We have a funny way of naming things. Look at the word ‘abbreviation’ for example. Abbreviations are shortcuts for certain words. Why then is it soooo long? That’s five syllables for crying out loud (or typing really sternly!).

Yeah, OK. So maybe I’ve got some time on my hands to ponder on these things. It’s quarter to seven and I’m still at work. It’s a Wednesday meaning, American Idol’s on tonight. I’m rooting for Vonzelle and Bo but I think it’s going to be a showdown between Constatine and Bo – the battle of the rockers, so to speak. I’m still not counting out Carrie being an early favorite. But please, please, I really thing Anthony or Scott should be voted out – capisce?

Yes, I am. I’m a couch potato but if I had my way, and can name it with something nicer I’d rather call it a boxer. Someone who watches the box all the time – “I’m a boxer, you know.” Sounds really tough. Sometimes, watching these reality shows really is.

Doing the Sand

2005-04-24T15:29:00.000+04:00

Just been from a three-day weekend in Abu Dhabi lounging at the Beach Rotana Hotel with my daughter, my husband, my in-laws (sis, bro & cuz). The weather is indeed getting warmer but still not warm enough. In fact, the sea was quite cold thus giving my daughter a bit of a cold these days. We had a great time creating sand castles which looked more like "crap" castles...but what the heck. Amber thoroughly enjoyed splashing in the beach and throwing sand at every living, breathing, moving object that came near her. She excitedly and repeatedly screamed, "Mom, I'm doing the sand!" Now that didn't sound right...or wholesome! Do, the operative word, being to throw or to play with. Oh well a lesson in syntax, context and grammar would have to ensue later to keep her at "appropriate" level as per society's standards. Reminds me of a scene in Mel Brook's 'The History of the World part 1' where he said - as the prince of France - "You do it. Everybody's doing it. I did it and I'm going to do it again."

From Palm Sunday to Easter Sunday - Pinoy Style

2005-03-27T14:15:00.000+04:00

It is funny how cultures and traditions meld together to form what is Easter as we know it today.

Pagan times in the Anglo-Saxon regions celebrated the feast of Eastre signifying the beginning of spring and the vernal equinox (when day and nights share equal length) is when they’d give away colourful eggs and feast on rabbits.

During Jesus’ time, the Hebrew celebrated the Pesach or the Passover for 8 days to commemorate their freedom and flight from Egypt. The Last Supper may have been a few days before the Passover and the symbology of the sacrificial lamb tied in with Jesus as the lamb of God.

The Christian leaders agreed in the Council of Nicea to hold Easter on a Sunday but the varying lunar calendar of the Teutonic Easter conflicts with that of the Romans. So it was agreed to hold Easter on the first Sunday after the spring equinox which is after the 21st of March. Thus Easter Sunday can fall on any day between 22nd March and 25th April.

For Catholics, Lent begins with Ash Wednesday and the Holy Week starts from Palm Sunday commemorating Jesus’ triumphant entry into Jerusalem until Easter Sunday, when he triumphs over death.

In the Philippines, Easter is a part of the Holy Week, a very important celebration in the predominantly Catholic country. I’d like to share some memories of our beautiful Holy Week celebration.

Palaspas or Palm Sunday is celebrated with people going to mass with palm leaves designed like flowers, insects, and many other creative forms. People at the end of mass gather round for the priest to spray holy water on their palm leaves and go home to prepare for a week-long of meditation and reflection.

Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday are normal days and so people go to work, school etc. but in a subdued atmosphere. Revelry is not encouraged because it appears like a direct insult to the graveness of what Christ is about to go through. This is also the time when people refrain from eating meat and would offer small sacrifices i.e. refrain from liquor or smoking as a sign of penance.

Maundy Thursday is when Jesus began his suffering. People go to church and pray, follow the way of the cross (Station of the Cross) and say the rosary. It is advised to visit as many churches as you can. On the street corners you have the local stores and community hangouts converted into a tent where a woman in megaphone or microphone sings out the “Pasyon” in that eerie but melodious sound reminding me of a long-forgotten Spanish tune lost in the folds of religion and history. One line keeps playing in my memories auditory flashback “Nang si Hudas ay madulas....” (When Judas slipped...)

Starting on this day, Thursday, until Saturday, people do not eat. When before it was just abstinence, this time it is fasting. If your physical constitution can handle it, water and bread is ok or none at all would be more commendable.

Friday and Saturday still has the Pasyon singers but now you also have the Penitensya – the penitents who walk the streets in quiet procession wearing crowns of thorns or barbed wire, bare chests with whips – some with pointed edges – that they use to beat themselves on the back. It is such a surreal sight; like the entire Jesus of Nazareth – the Robert Powel version – is being played before your eyes but with local flavour. Oh and yes, watching movies like The Ten Commandments and Jesus of Nazareth is not only encouraged, it’s what’s on in most of the local TV stations so you have no choice but to watch them.

Seen a real live man being nailed onto the cross with blood all over him? Not only is this in Mel Gibson’s The Passion of the Christ but visit the Philippines at this time of the year and you will see penitents do the same, and drink and celebrate the next day in drunken abandon!

After visiting all the churches that you can and doing the Station of the cross for a few times, you sit and keep vigil in Church on Saturday night. Early the next morning, at about 4:00am is the “Salubong” where Mama Mary (a big thing for Filipino Catholics) meets her risen son Jesus at dawn on Easter Sunday. Most churches are open and people are there in throngs, the statues of both Mary and Jesus provide a spectacular form of entertainment with candles and hymns being sung, this could be quite a moment!

Then Easter is the Filipino’s excuse to party. In a fiesta like atmosphere Filipinos have also recently adopted Easter eggs and bunnies along with the more traditional food and customs of giving rosaries and prayer books on Easter. I’m the undefeated Easter egg hunter of my family.

For most Filipinos, the Holy week is the time to be with family either off to a retreat somewhere of just at home. Being summer in the Philippines it is a good time to get together before school starts in June. Most Filipinos working or studying in Manila would take the week off to go home to family and be with loved ones.

This is my memory of Holy Week and Easter in the Philippines. I wonder how much of it has changed since then.

Testing, Checking, Confirming

2005-03-23T13:34:00.000+04:00

Passion, Death and Resurrection

Having read Irving Wallace’s “The Word” and Dan Brown’s “Da Vinci Code” one wonders if Jesus indeed did live on – literally after his crucifixion. It remains such a mystery if indeed, the disciples had been able to shy him away into safety and there revived and healed continued on and lived and had children as The Word theorizes or had died but left a legacy of wife and children and great, great grandchildren as the Da Vinci Code purports.

It may affect some believers as blasphemous but I think there could be seeds of opportunity to increase and deepen one’s faith in reading books like this. In fact, it is those who have lesser faith who are afraid and would defensively close their eyes on such books (or movies!) so that they are not tempted to lose or change their beliefs. Yet Christ our lord underwent so many temptations in his lifetime. Like the heat and pressure that converts a lowly carbon allotrope (the same carbon you see in your pencil) into a dazzling and durable diamond, so too must we continually test the borders of our faith to ensure we are not stagnating or worse, dwindling.

So do entertain books like the above or movies like Dogma (which I immensely enjoyed!) and see how it affects you as a person...and in relation, your belief system.

Whether he did live on and had children or whether he died on that cross doesn’t dilute the fact that Jesus loved us so much that he suffered and went through all that - which Mel Gibson showed us in “The Passion of the Christ” – pain and trials so that we can believe in something good and thus, strive to be better men and women.

Be open, be bold, be free. Challenge your own set of values, beliefs and standards for only in putting these to the test will we truly know if we indeed believe in them.

The Holy Week

2005-03-23T13:14:00.000+04:00

It’s that time of year again when Catholics all over the world reflect on the Passion, Death and Resurrection of Christ – the very foundation of their faith as Christians. Old traditions and habits are hard to break. Starting with Palm Sunday, OFWs in these parts of the desert attended mass last Sunday in droves. They may miss a few Sundays now and then but not during holy days of obligation. A bit surreal is this man standing at the door of the church giving out date palm leaves...probably a more historically correct version of the palms used than our Pacific, south east Asian version of the coconut palm.

People took the palm leaves and sat quietly waiting for the mass to begin. Pinoys on the other hand offered an interesting twist to this rather somber and ho-hum affair by fiddling with their palms and converting them into heart-shaped or caterpillar looking objects complete with antlers and legs! Oh the creativity of being Pinoy! The rest of the community was marveling at how deft our fingers are at the art of palm leave weaving/crafts.

I remember transforming coconut leaves into watches, balls, mattresses, skirts, and many other things while at play. With the growing trend of urbanising and sibdivision-ing (is this even a word?!) large tract of lands that is Manila, children no longer have the trees and natural environment to play in. Creativity and imagination is dumbed out by ready-made plastic toys from China.

The ability to create things and make it beautiful is a gift from God and a talent/skill we should encourage our children to develop in themselves. The decline of our country’s moral fibre goes hand in hand with our relative decline in many ways – and one is the natural joys of a youth at play – not with material things but just with nature and fellow children.

On second thought, while I’m reflecting on Holy Week and self sacrifice, I better hide the PS2 till Easter.

The Haciendero

2005-03-22T14:02:00.000+04:00

The old man stands gazing out a large French window into the twilight. He is wearing a short-sleeved barong[i] and light cotton trousers, which is getting to be quite the fashion with the elder members of Negrense[ii] society. Gripping his cane harder in his right hand, he heaves a long, heavy sigh pregnant with sadness and perhaps regret. Bowing his head, he shuts his eyes as if the setting sun is hurting them. He could not stop the tears from falling now. The past is much too painful to remember but he is at an age when one thinks nothing only but of the times gone by. ‘Papa…Rosario…has it been really that long ago?’ the man asks himself while tears continue to flow. Slowly, he takes a white handkerchief from his pants pocket, the embroidered initials I.V. like the roman number ‘four’ is visible. The old man wipes his tears away, willing himself to look at the sunset for a few moments before turning his back and walking towards his favorite chair. It is time for afternoon tea. A servant enters the large sala carrying a tray with a huge pot of hot chocolate and some native sweets: kuchinta and palitaw[iii], and some ripe mangoes. Don Isidro Villaruel sits on his favorite arm chair and takes a cup of fragrant hot chocolate from the servant. He nods his head indicating his thanks and waves his hands to tell the servant to leave. With a bow, the servant leaves the old man alone again. He stares at his still hot cup and stirs the drink slowly when he saw his left wrist with a slightly visible scar. He traces the scar with gnarled, trembling, spotty hands. The hands of an old man who has an amazing story to tell – that of living a dual life! He lifts the cup to take a sip but frowns when the hot liquid scalded his lips. He thinks to himself, ‘The children have all grown up now and some are about to start families of their own.’ He attempts another sip, this time rewarded by a sweet, aromatic gulp. He smiles are he muses, ‘Maybe I should tell them about my past?’ He notes that even to himself and in his mind, he is asking a question. He is still afraid that even now, even at his age and after all those many years, the past still makes him want to run away and hide.

[i] Is native Filipino shirt made of jusi or piña worn with a balck or white cotton inner shirt as barongs are flimsy, almost transparent with elaborate embroidered designs. This is the national dress for males in the Philippines.

[ii] Refers to the people who live in the island of Negros particularly, Negros Occidental who speak Ilonggo or Hiligaynon, one of the eight major languages in the Philippines.

[iii] Kuchinta is a steamed pudding made from lihiya water. This is eaten with grated coconut as toppings. Palitaw is a form of rice cake made from glutinuous rice and coconut milk and eaten with grated coconut, sesame seeds and brown or white sugar as toppings.

Mothers

2005-03-20T11:04:00.000+04:00

Mother’s Day is March 21st here in the desert. I am lucky to have had several mothers in my lifetime and I’d like to give tribute to each one in my blog for this month.

Mama Minda who passed away in 1999 was my biological mother. She was a woman who made bad choices in life with regards to men. Fell in love very young and as quickly fell out of love yet burdened with children and elders to support, she had to hold the role of breadwinner for the family. She’s had her share of life’s ups and downs. Considered book smarts but not street smarts particularly in love. She was very strict and scary when angry but she could be the most romantic and ‘malambing’ mother, singing to you and cooking for you all the delicious desires of your stomach.

Nanay Conching is my maternal grandmother and was practically my mother from birth till I was three. Nanay took care of me because my mother was busy making a living. She was the light of my earliest years. My childhood memories are filled with her ministering to my every needs and whims. Now 80, she is in my thoughts still. I think of ways to make her more comfortable as she prepares herself to the next part of the journey.

Mommy Connie is my mother from age three till now. The mother of my heart. The voice in my head, my conscience, my ideal and the person I seek counsel and guidance from. She is a woman of strength and endless compassion. I admire her spirituality and her capacity to offer love and charity even when there seems to be none left. I pray each night that I never miss the opportunity to be by her side whenever she needs a daughter, a friend or even just someone to listen. I wish her the best of health as there are still so many who depend on her and that she will be blessed with financial riches as there will be no end to how she can share it and with who,

Mama Estella is my godmother, one of my parents’ closest friends. She like all the above women has the capacity to love and give so much of themselves and do not expect any in return but a thoughtful ‘thank you’ from the recipients. Her home was like our home and her children my own siblings. I think of them in times especially when I miss the good old days.

Mamu Ellen was my “mother” when I first came to the United Arab Emirates. She took me under her wings and helped me find friends and form a “sort of” eclectic family that one forms when living abroad. Her sons became my brothers and her house our ‘tambayan’ and second home. She’s now in the US and I wish we’d be able to share some time together when she visits the UAE.

Mama Baby is my mother in law. A shy, reserved woman who loves her family like no other and would stick by her husband through thick and thin. She is the rock that holds her own family together. In her own way, she has offered me support and love and is an email away for times when you just need to communicate with someone. I pray that she is always well and constantly happy.

Tita Mai is my husband’s second mother and my mother-in-law’s younger sister. She is the source of financial succor and the pillar that is the strength of the Korokans in the Middle East. I wish her endless joys and good health.

To all these women, I owe a part of me. I thank you all and to the many others who are mothers, sisters, daughters, friends...ladies I wish you a very happy, healthy, wealthy and peaceful mother’s day. May we always honour the women who bore us, loved us, held us, cared for us, taught us, cried for us, were strong for us, guided us, counseled us, advise us, believed in us, cheered for us, fought for us – us who are sometimes forgetful of all they’ve done and oft times unworthy of their love, time, efforts and energy.

Nostalgic of Tibak Days

2005-03-19T13:25:00.000+04:00

Bahaw

Tumaba na sa alikabok
Ang aking aklat na pula
Abo na ang apoy sa puso
Ng aking pagka-aktibista
Panis na ang laway ko
Sa matagal na pananahimik
Bahaw na rin at malamig
Ang sinaing ni Nanay

Humpak pa rin ang pisngi
Ni Tasyong magsasaka
Pawis at nanghihina na
Si Pedrong manggagawa
Patay na ang pag-asa
Ni Neneng sa kakasayaw
Bahaw at basag na ang boses
Ni Isko sa kakasigaw

Malamok, malangaw, mabantot
Ang bansang aking kinagisnan
Maputik, mainit, maalikabok
Ang daan niyang sinusundan
Madugo, mahirap, masakit
Ang kasaysayang pinagdadaanan
Panis na ang bahaw sa mesang
Kaninang umaga lang sinaing ni Nanay

Don't you just have days like this? Don't even ask me to translate it...all these sentiments will disappear in translation.

Lalaki

2005-03-16T16:51:00.000+04:00

Lalaki. noun. meaning man.
Lalaki. verb. meaning to grow.
Malaki. adjective. meaning big.

So aptly we call men in Filipino because the male genitalia do tend to “grow” when in a state of excitement. But and this is a but with quite a long, audible, pause. How big is big?

On average a Pinoy can harden to between 5 to 7 inches in length. More than that is above the norm. Less than that needs to be helped...or re-think his sexual orientation.

So why do we insist on calling the turtles lalaki? Ok, Ok, because it grows? But then again size is relative. When do you say that that is already “malaki”...as compared to what? The state of being “at rest”? Sooo confusing.

I’d rather men we called LILIIT. That way there is no pressure on the size. The focus would be on how small is could go...after “release”.

Another nomenclature to consider would have been TITIGAS or LALAMBOT because it does harden or soften but size would not be the focal point of the object.

Mala-saging, pahaba, ma-ugat are also more or less variations of a label that relieves the stigma on size being the end all and be all of all manhood. How liberating would that be when Pinoy men are all called TIGAS or mga KATIGASAN!

Whew, all this men-talk makes me suddenly want to go and grab a hotdog sandwich. Now there’s an object where size does matter. Which one would be more “filling” a foot-long or a Weiner? Your choice ladies.

Las Islas Felipinas and fishes

2005-03-16T15:11:00.000+04:00

Yoyoy Villame’s novelty song will be forever etched in my memory. Here’ goes (clap your hands and stomp you feet!)

March sixteen fifteen hundred and twenty one
When the Philippines was discovered by Magellan
They were sailing day and night, across the big ocean
Until they came and landed on Limasawa island

I can’t remember the rest of the lyrics but from one blogsite (http://www.motorcyclephilippines.com/forums/showthread.php?threadid=7814) has more:

“Wen Magellan visitated Mactan, to kristianize them everyone...den da batel bigan at dawn... bolos end spers versos gans and kanons...Mactan island he could not grab, Cause LapuLapu is very hard..."

Lapu-lapu was on the one centavo coin. This changed to a fish in the 90’s if I remember correctly.

The fish we know as Lapu-lapu is called hammour in these parts of the desert. Inexpensive as opposed to Manila’s horrendous prices. Affordable thus more Pinoys here can bring it to the table and introduce it’s taste to the young. One convenience they’d find hard to do back home. But that’s just me going off track. hehehe :-)

Lapu-lapu, the man, however remains an enigma. Shouldn’t we try to look more into this intriguing fellow in our history to know more about him? Rather than immerse in the Korean teleseryes of the day?

Here are some sites off the Internet you get on Lapu-lapu, the man, just by a simple keyword search in Google:

http://www.geocities.com/Tokyo/Harbor/1320/bbilapu.html
http://www.geocities.com/rolborr/lapulapu.html
http://www.yonip.com/main/articles/lapulapu.html

While searching, I also found this interesting site on the Philippines:
http://www.philippines.hvu.nl/index.html

As I reflect on the impact of March 16 in my life as a citizen of the world, and as a Filipino, my stomach yearns for the succulent white meat of inihaw na lapu-lapu. Better visit the fish market on my way home.

For People's Service Corps - UP

2005-03-16T15:07:00.000+04:00

Naaalala nyo pa ba...
Ang lamesang blue na pinaitim na ng panahon?
Na siyang saksi sa saya at lumbay sa Palma Hall noon

Naaalala nyo pa ba...
Ang ikatlong palapag ng bulwagang Palma?
Matiyaga't maya-maya'y inaakyat nang tayo'y magkasama-sama

Naaalala nyo pa ba...
Ang logbook (na nawala) ng ating samahang PSC?
Puno ng minutes, doodles, at tula sa mga pinipintakasi

Naalala nyo pa ba...
Ang bench na mahabang, kulay brown?
Na kung sino man ang umupo ay siguradong tanggal ang kanyang frown (what else rhymes with brown!)

Kung naaalala nyo pa nga
Ang lahat nang ito
Naaalala nyo rin kaya
Ang mga nakasama nyo?

Nakipagsaya,
Nakitawa
Naki-kain
Naki-kanta
Naki-gawa
Naki-aral
Naki-isa?

Salamant sa mga ala-ala.

Greys bastos (pa ren!)

2005-03-15T12:47:00.000+04:00

I must be old because reunions seem to be the thing floating in the air like a neighbour cooking delicious adobo and the aroma of the pork in soy sauce and vinegar is in the air enticing even the most cold hearted and couldn’t care less kapitbahay to turn his/her nose to that house’s direction. yes, reunions. Virtual and other forms of it. I’ve recently “met up” with friends from my college days; have been doing the same with my highschool and recently orgs and groups and circles I occasionally or frequently encounter are also in the reuniting mood. Nice to know that no matter where you go, people will still refer to you as Greys bastos...the girl so shook hands with men’s crotches! hehehe

Come on people, was that what I will ever be remembered for my stay at the Philippines’ premier university? As the girl whom fratmen avoided because they didn’t want to be touched “there” lest they be discovered that they aren’t in fact, “lalaki” but rather “liliit”? Haven’t I rallied for the noblest of causes? Stood side by side with most of you for freedom of speech and the right to a free, unbiased, state-funded education? Drank alcohol till we passed out at the Sunken Garden or brooded over life’s sorrows while watching the sunset or gazing at the stars?

Sigh. I wouldn’t have changed it for the world. At least I know who’s got the ‘goods’ and who doesn’t. Honestly, this old...I barely even remember!

Lion King, Sharon Cuneta and Tantrums

2005-03-15T11:21:00.000+04:00

My daughter spent the entire evening miserable because the old people wanted to watch a movie and therefore her current favourite DVD, Lion King, which she calls “Jungle” cannot be played.

She was writhing and wailing on the floor and I pretended not to make big deal about it. Flashbacks of me crying on our stairs looking down at my parents watching the news, when I had wanted to watch The Muppet Show, made me sagely shake my head and smile. Goodness me, I was exactly the same if not worst than my daughter! At least she had the tears. I didn’t. I just had this really annoying wail that would have driven my parents bonkers.

Not people who believed in the rod, they nagged us to death. But in extreme cases, my mother would just ignore us. Such a case when one of us would whine or cry like a baby in need of feeding and immediate nappy change.

So I ignored my little girl while she was building up a storm. After about an hour of forever, she stopped, totally exhausted and eyes sore from all her tears. I went to her and kissed her as asked “iiyakan mo kaya nang ganito ang borfriend mo?”

I’ve had more tears shed for movies of Sharon Cuneta than all my past relationships combined. Makes one wonder if indeed, tears are good indicators of pain and vice versa.

Merchant of Venice and lightsabers

2005-03-08T12:32:00.000+04:00

Stunning performance from Al Pacino as Shylock in the most recent cinematic rendition of Shakespeare's Merchant of Venice. As usual, I fell in love with the fair and clever Portia. As in the book, the scene I loved most is the court/trial of Antonio and Shylock seeking his revenge by means of a pound of flesh.

Portia cleverly argued that Shylock could indeed take a pound of flesh off Antonio but without the blood as that was what was stipulated in their agreement.

Whilst this scene was unfolding, I thought of ways to help poor Shylock gain his somewhat misguided vengence. I say somewhat because indeed he had reason to despise those who in turn despised him. He is after all only human. So how to sever or in much blatant terms, whack off, one pound of flesh off Antonio without the spillage of blood?

I am reminded of several scenes from the Star Wars movies. In Episode 1, Quigon Jin was struck by the laser spear of the Sith. It seared his flesh thus no bloodshed but eventually was fatal. The Sith was cut in half. But no sight of even the slightest drop because the lightsaber would clinically burn the wound and seal it off. In Episode 2, Anakin himself lost his hand and a good part of his arm to Count Dokoo's expert swordsmanship, equalled only by the amazing Yoda (can't wait for the 3rd outting of this film!)

So, to go back on track if indeed there is one, had Shylock the friendship of a Jedi or even a Sith, so long as lightsabers are available, he would have successfully taken his pound of flesh and been satisfied.

Or perhaps a magic wand from one of the Hogwarts characters...?

Mira is free!

2005-03-07T09:52:00.000+04:00

As I heard it first hand from Japs during the PSC alumni's gimik at Trellis last March 5th, I sent a silent prayer of thanks to the Almighty for making it possible to free Mira and her colleagues. I sighed a huge sigh of relief, like a sharp pang of fear has been released, upon hearing this good tidings.

Now I marvel at the speed at which information is being transferred and relayed. Imagine it if this were pre-Internet, cell phone and text messages time. She and her companions would have been dead by now! But thank goodness to people who kept calling and forwarding text and emails and just never let it go until news was heard and reached the right people who can do something, this new age of information at a click of a button indeed can be rewarding in situations like this.

Although it comes like a two-edged sword. Mis-information and Dis-information happens twice as quickly on a day-to-day basis. How many lunatics have access to the Internet and may own several websites accessible by even young children? Name it, all the weirdness, horniness, anti-everything and biases or worse can be gleaned upon on the information superhighway. Freedom of expression without the responsibility of such a power can be damaging.

Spiderman's uncle keeps resurfacing in my memory...saying the lines, "With great power comes great responsibility." Makes me think twice what to write when I blog and twice harder still when I read other's blogs.

Is it the truth? And if it truly is, will it make the world a better place? Would it make someone (who reads it) be a better person or at least hope to be a better person?

In this computer age we often rush at things just clicking away without even thinking. The meat of the matter is - computers may give us what we want...but is it really what we need?

Now if my laptop can do laundry and iron my clothes at the same time...then perhaps it is something that I really need!

Mira in Trouble

2005-03-02T16:47:00.000+04:00

I received a shocking news this morning. One of my college friend, Mira Gamba, has been picked up by military/police and has gone missing along with three other companions. They are all members of a women's organisation in the Philippines, Gabriela.

Being far away and practically a nobody, my mind rushed on who to contact and what to do in order to help in any way I can. Having been in situations like this during my UP days, I know that if nobody looks for you or asks about you, you are bound to end up raped, abused and worse - dead in an unmarked grave or floating in the Pasig river or burried under a pile of trash either in Smokey Moutain or Payatas.

It is a fact that these things continue to happen in my country. Many activits, politicians, non-government organisation staff, students, teachers who but said one word against a the current ruling elite at that time - can face the possibility of ending up a decaying, unrecognizable mass of flesh and bones.

Mira was a student activist as I was back in our University of the Philippines days. Many of my peers and closest friends were. There were only two choices, apathy or make a difference and care...whilst being in school. We chose to care. Mira chose to care.

In fact, she continues to care so much that she ended up not in the corporate world but in a non-profit women's organisation that aims to uphold women's human rights and give a better chance for women and children in an abusive (most times), patriarchal (since forever) society such as the Philippines.

Thank goodness for emails, online groups and discussion boards, the message about her disappearance spread and reached some of the right people who could make a difference. She and her 3 other companions have been found...and alive.

However, they face the problem of being charged - of possessing firearms and being members of the Communist Party. These women do not carry firearms! Despite the dangerous jungle that is Manila, and their job of visiting families and communities in the remotest and dangerous of places - these women never carry a gun much less a pen knife! It is an obvious plant and the one charge that is by Philippine law, un-bailable.

The problem with our political system is that, anyone who tries to even show that they care for the masses and not themselves and not work towards personal gain but for the benefit of a community, is immediately labelled a communist. Anyone who takes up the issues of the people, raising their level of awareness so that they become more judicious with their choices, is already a rebel and against the government.

Why are we doing this to our own? These women give their time and energy to do good and in the end, they are put in prison and called 'disturbers of the peace'. What peace will we have and our children will have if we do this to the very people who work to achieve it?

I am dumbfounded. I am angry and frustrated. I am in shock. What if that had been me? What if, instead of applying for a job abroad, I had opted for a life of service to my kababayans (countrymen) and worked for an organisation like Gabriela? For indeed I had worked for them during my college days, helped them write up articles and did some research work...so what if I had decided to do what Mira had done? I'd end up behind bars?!?! This is insane! This is ridiculously comedic - it brings tears to my eyes.

Note that the ladies who continue to be in prison and who are wrongfully accused/charged are:

1. Miralyn Gamba, 34 years old of Brgy. Tanauan, Real, Quezon. She is a provincial coordinator of Gabriela
2. Nancy Ella, 33 years old of Brgy. Tanauan, Real, Quezon. She is the First district coordinator of Gabriela
3. Leonila Manalo, 32 years old, municipal coordinator of Real, Quezon.
4. Ailyn Ramos, 23 years old of Tayabas, Quezon, municipal Coordinator of Tayabas, Quezon.

None of these women are communists. None of them have ever carried a gun or used a gun, even if her life depended on it. These are normal, hard working Filipinas whose only dream is to make women's conditions in the Philippines a little bit better than what it currently is.

Another Farewell

2005-02-23T19:39:00.000+04:00

JP or Joanne, a dear and long-time friend, lost her mother to cancer a couple of weeks ago. It was a long battle with the first signs when we were still in university together. Her mama joins their father in the Elysian Fields and suffers no more.

To those who knew JP, she flew to Manila to lay her mother to her final resting place. She and her two other sisters, Christine Abinales and Vivien Parenas will be joined by many relatives and friends who loved both their parents and knew them well.

JP said that her mom's cancer had spread first from the breasts which had already been taken off to her stomach and her bones. Finally it had invaded her lungs and a major operation, with unsure results, would have to had scheduled but her mom decided to return to their home in Marbel, South Cotabato and be comformtable in their home. She passed away peacefully and was spared of further pains. A small comfort to the three sisters left behind.

When our friends parents die, especially friends who are close to us, we feel that we too, lost someone dear to us. It tugs painful strings in our hearts and brings us to tears. I realise that one does not need to be related by blood to miss someone and to feel grave sadness when they're gone. I already miss JP's mom. Her beautiful mestiza features with always a smile on her face. Her distinct Visayan "lambing" when she calls her daughters 'ga' - short for 'palangga' (beloved).

Wherever you may be, I know you are finally cancer free. Don't worry, I'll look in on my friend, you daughter, every now and then.

Bye Tatay...

2005-02-02T13:10:00.000+04:00

Jess C. Betia was a man who loved life and enjoyed every moment. I called him Papa Jess or Tatay as his own children would address him. He was a loving father and a devoted husband.

Just as 2005 is getting started, we said our final goodbye to Papa Jess. He is survived by his wife, Estella Nessia, and four children: Ma. Lynn, Jesus, John-John and Pearly May.

I have snippets of moments with him and his family forever etched in my memory. Who would forget the "Battle of the Bulge" mahjong sessions with my parents or the countless mahjong games our families have played together.

I will always remember the fun times we shared during gartherings and parties commemorating milestones in life: my parents' wedding where Papa Jess and Mama Stella were sponsors, kids' and grandkids' birthdays, weddings, christenings, confirmations, Christmases, All Souls Days at South Cemetery, or even just the ordinary weekend or night sleep-in when you have nothing else to do.

It is always sad to hear of someone passing away. Even sadder when that someone had been a close friend or family member. Papa Jess is definitely family. And so the pain is deeper and would take longer to heal.

He was my dad's best friend. They worked in Ramcar in the early 70's. Shared so many memories together as their families increased and as the years progressed.

He was a patient father and a sweet husband. I remember one night, Ate Lynn, his eldest daughter, had migraine and he was there by her side, embracing her and soothing her to help the pain go away. If there were family differences (and even in the best of families, there would be) he was the mediator, the peace maker. He loved his children in the good times and loved them more in the bad times. He was always sweet and loving to his wife - telling us kids how he courted and wooed her.

So with much sadness I bid Papa Jess, goodbye. I know that you are in a better place. The years have brought us farther apart and I didn't have that chance to kiss you goodbye. May these silent prayers and thoughts of you be like kisses that reach you in heaven.

Diets and Stuff

2005-01-30T08:40:00.000+04:00

OK so my high school reunion looms in the horizon and that is somewhere in the vicinity of July 2005 - about six months away from today. In the past eleven years of living in the UAE, I have ballooned to at whooping 75 kilos from my original 50 kilos in my college days. (Oh dear) So now, what I ate and drank in the past 11 years to have put me in this current state of well-roundedness, I must eliminate within this six-months time frame. (How the hell am I going to do that?!)

The solution diet and exercise. I have begun along with my sister-in-law the abridged Atkins diet and have started going back to the gym again. The objective being that when I see my schoolmates again, I would not be within the category of "OMG, she totally let herself go!"

So after kicking off the week with eating meat and sightly meaty sustenance, I have lost about 2.5 kilos bringing me down to about 72.5 as of this post. My target is at least to go down to 65 which is 10 kilos off my current weight and about 15 kilos more than my original svelt figure.

As I did my early morning sit-ups today, I wonder why go through all this pain and suffering? Just so people who I haven't seen in the past 17 years can judge me whether I got fat or behaved myself in the kitchen? The is a slightly disturbing thing in this mad rush to look ones best for other people. Why the heck and why indeed?

Despite my adherence to feminism and spite for the status quo, I still continue to fall victim of media and society. Although I have come to accept myself as a woman who is fat and has to wear XL and sometimes XXL sized clothes, I feel a pang of guilt for having gone this much bigger when I used to be wearing Ms.

And the sad fact is, I am not alone in this crisis. Thousands of women like, from all walks of life, culture, religion, social strata undergo the same feeling everyday. Why do you think gyms are such lucrative business? And those diet schemes off the Internet that sell like pancakes? Because no matter how educated we have become, we are still trapped by what our current society dictates - that only super model like women and barbie doll look alikes get to live life to the fullest.

So as i weighed myself in the scale this morning, I sent a silent prayer to the God of Slimming and Well-Being: May I see a lower number or get me a new weighing scale! please?!?!

2005-01-30T08:19:00.000+04:00

Been listening to South Border's stylised version of an old ballad, "Usahay" and at first i thought it sounded weird that something so old and sort of 'standard' had suddenly taken on a new twist to it. As listening continued, I began to have second thoughts. The lyrics are the same but the sound, which at first I thought was over-acting, slowly sounded pleasant. It grows on you and you find your self singing it in the shower, while making coffee, humming the new tune! To those who are unfamiliar with it, the lyrics in Cebuano (Sugbuhanon) goes like this: Note Tagalog and English transaltions follows.

Usahay (Cebuano)

Usahay, nagadamgo ako
Nga ikaw ug ako nagkahigugma-ay.
Nganong, damguhon ko ikaw
Damguhon sa kanunay
Sa akong kamingaw?

Usahay, nagamahay ako
Nganong nabuhi pa nianing kalibutan.
Nganong giti-awti-awan
Ang gugma ko kanimo
Kanimo Day?

Usahay (Tagalog)

Paminsanminsan napapaniginipan ko
Na ikaw at ako'y nagkaibigan
Bakit kaya kita madalas mapanaginipan
Sa tuwing ako'y nag-iisa (nalulungkot)?

Paminsanminsan, nagsisisi ako
Kung bakit pa ako nabuhay dito sa mundo
Bakit mo naman pinaglaruan lang
Ang pag-ibig ko sa iyo Inday?

Usahay (English)

I sometimes dream
that you and I had fallen in love
Why do I often dream of you
In the midst of my isolated longing?

Sometimes I regret the fact
That I was even born in this world
For why did you only make fun of
my love for you, dear lady?

This is the only song I know that is:

1. short - two stanzas long
2. ended in a question mark
3. there are only four sentences to this song. two statements and two questions but the entire ethos behind it is the sadness the singer feels about the way the object of his/her affection reacted to his/her revelation.

So sad, so common in young hearts and even in those matured and love weary. Oh well, better to have loved and lost that never to have loved at all.

Road Test

2005-01-16T13:59:00.000+04:00

Here I am still a failure from procuring a driver's license. I just finished my second road test today and got a big "NO, not today!" result from my two nemesi, the traffic police officer - male and female - who like hawks watched my every move, waiting for that one chance that I will make a mistake.

I feel like a big fat loser today. Friends have been encouraging but still, the knowledge deep down that I could have done better is still my very own. And I know I should have...and yet...

I'll have to do better the next time around.

Phoooeeey!

New Year Resolutions

2005-01-08T19:48:00.000+04:00

Each year at the end, I sit a while and assess how my year had passed. I go over how good I have been to my family, friends as well as colleagues at work and even total strangers. I also review the misdeeds I've made - trying to rationalize each one. Finally I open my list of "to do/to fulfill" and check if I've done most of them.

This had been something my mom had taught us as kids. To set goals and try to achieve them. You can do so consciously, by setting targets or simply just write down the things you want and find out at the end of the year if you're any closer to your dreams.

Last year I noted three major things and two out of the three came about. No bad eh?! This year, my list has gone up to five. Two major things and three small things that I'd like to accomplish.

In the hustle and bustle of our everyday lives, we forget the things we truly want. When we re-visit the list again after a year, it helps us give focus into our lives and reaffirm what we want to be and where we want to be.

It is not really a matter of keeping score. After all, you are up against no one but yourself. A simple note like losing 10 pounds or reading two new novels before the year ends are do-able enough. And yet it is so easy to forget about them when life hits us with so many woes and business. The fact that you've written it down makes you committed - in the least - to make it a reality.

You can put major stuff but be realistic, after all you only have one year to fulfill them so instead of putting down "become a millionaire" which is next to impossible unless you won the lottery or something, put down "Save $100 a month" and do it. At the end of the year, you may not be a millionaire but you're twelve hundred bucks richer.

It's never to late to begin anything and there is always time to finish things you've begun. Make a difference in your life this 2005.

Rounding Up the Old and Sounding in the New

2005-01-03T15:57:00.000+04:00

Living far from the Philippines, one tends to find friends good company during occassions like Christmas and New year, times when you usually spend with your relatives and being Filipinos, you usually spend it with several hundreds of friends and relatives spanning a few days or weeks!

So it was a different new year for us this time. We celebrated with family members on December 30th because everyone else is going back to Abu Dhabi and working. Of course, we weren't able to usher in the new year because technically, it wasn't new year's eve.

On the 31st of December, we went to buy our 13 round fruits to signify bounty. Had this been Manila, it would have required a fortune to purchase one round fruit of 13 varieties. Some friends used to but seven to mean 'lucky 7' because buying all 13 will drastically diminish their cash resources. And you've got to have money when the new year strikes!

So Pinoys would fill their pockets with money. Green money is preferrable as the exchange rate is just unbelievable between the dollar and the peso. It is currently pegged at 56 pesos to a dollar (US) so imagine if you've got hundreds of the green kind from Uncle Sam. Being without money as the new year approches signifies that you will want for money the entire year.

This goes the same for the basic spices of life. Filipinos make sure that the cupboards have enough salt, sugar, rice and food stuff to ensure that you will not lack for anyhting. It is also good to wear polka dotted or striped clothing because these means you'll have lots of money in the coming year.

The religious in us, start the new year hearing mass and afterwards partake of the Noche Buena. It is always good practice - and if you can truyl afford it - to fill your table with foods representing the various commonly edible (to the Filipino palate) produce. So in addition to the 13 fruits of bounty, you must have dishes made of fish, fowl, pork and beef - rounded, if possible, rich in sauces preferrably.

As the New Year arrives, Filipinos open their windows and doors to welcome the coming of the year and to say goodbye to the old one. This is usually done by lighting up firecrackers and banging on pots and pans or simply creating a ruckus by jumping up and down screaming "Happy New Year" and smiling so that you will enjoy happiness all year round.

There will be toasts using the native tuba or the beloved Filipino brew. Some more cultured would prepare a bubbly or wine to toast the coming of the new year.

Despite being another reason to party, the new year celebrations, Pinoy-style is also a chance to re-affirm good plans for the coming year, bridge gaps between severed friends and relations, and also to be thankful for the blessings of the past year.

In the midst of all the round stuff and the polka dots, behind the flashy fireworks and after all the noise to scare evil spirits away lives in the heart of every Filipino to yearning for a better life - not only for himself but for his fellowmen. There - in the heart of each kababayan - cries of pleading arise for a better leadership for our country so that we too can be truly a new dragon in Asia and show the world that we can make a difference.

In the quieter receptions in these parts of the desert, there is the longing to spend these precious times with family. How I wish the Noche Buena we have prepared can be share with poorer relations who would have enjoyed the fare more than us. And from the desert, a silent prayer is sent to all the loved ones who cannot be with us - in the hope that they are truly happy as the new year dawns upon us.

A Mother's Wrath

2004-12-27T18:17:00.000+04:00

Indonesia, Sri Lanka and parts of Malaysia and Singapore recently felt Mother Nature's anger at full throttle. No one was spared, not even the innocent nor the most environment conscious citizen of these nations. Death was the toll you pay for thousands of years spent in wreckless abuse of the planet's natural resources - our only planet.

A few days back, 13th and 14th December nature displayed a joyous spray of meteor showers. Beautiful from afar, awesome and undoubtedly lethal had it been quite near. From a distance, the bulging tidal waves would look like a dolphin's playful fin rising from the waves. Have you seen how the eye of the storm looks blissfully white and harmless from a satellite projection? Yet we know better.

And still we seem not to...know anything or learned anything at all. We continue to plunder our natural resources despite constant and often painful reminders from Mother Nature herself. Despite our differences in race, faith or social stature; indeed despite the famous battles of the sexes or even political affiliation; we all belong to one human race - living, struggling, surviving in this singular planet that is livable, for now. If we continue with our ways and not heed our Earth Mother...there is one definite destination and that is six feet under!

I should really start by truly recycling things at home rather than the easy way out which is to bin it. I must start now, this instant! For my daughter's sake and her children's children. After all, Earth is their home too...their only home.

Christmas Pinoy Style

2004-12-21T13:09:00.000+04:00

As it is the season to be jolly, I'd like to share that Filipinos probably have the longest Christmas celebrations in all cultures...and one occassion that takes precedence over all others. As early as November, you already have shops decorating their windows and showcases in Christmas themes and usually Christmassy music can be heard over radios and malls.

Christmas in the Philippines begins on the 16th of December where people attend dawn mass for 9 days until the 24th. Young people are encouraged by their parents to wake up and attend mass to prepare themselves for the birthday of Jesus. Aside from the chance of sleeping in church and upsetting your local parish priest, you get to see most people still in pajamas some of whom haven't even brushed their hair, teeth, much less washed their faces of have taken a bath!

It is a joy to see people as sleepy as you in the pews of a still cold church. You exchange smiles of solidarity - perhaps you both have not brushed your teeth! There are giggles as some elder members jolt up in the middle of the homily (priest preaching) from an obvious sleep of snores start getting louder from an inconspicious dozzer!

After mass, people eat rice cakes and native sweets outside the church with hot chocolate or coffee to keep them warm (and awake!). You feel a different air of the Yule season. The weather is cooler, the air is crisp and you are - for that single instant - thankful for God's blessings.

On Christmas Eve, Filipinos attend midnight mass (talk about all these unGodly service hours!) and after that feast to a media noche of ham, lechon (roast pork) and other fancy party fare. Even the poorest of familes would at least have chicken or pancit (noodles) on the table to celebrate the coming of Jesus and no matter how poor, a Christmas tree or a decorated parol (lantern) would hang on a Filipino home to signify the occassion.

On Christmas Day we visit relatives and friends, give presents and eat, again! Children sing Christmas carols and visit houses where they receive either sweets or money for their efforts. This is a good time of the year to look up godparents who must (by tradition) give you presents in cash or kind.

A few days rest from all the partying and it's the New Year so the feasting continues. Schools and businesses are usually closed from the 24th of December till the 1st of January to allow people to go home to the provinces and be with their families.

Christmas officially ends on the Feast of the Three Kings where people give presents. Three Kings used to be on the 6th of January but in recent years the chruch decreed it to be the first Sunday of January.

having spent Christmas for the past 10 years now here in the middle of the desert, I miss the Christmas that I grew up with in the Philippines. The people I love spending Christmas with are scattered all over the world. I hope that with them, they bring and share the spirit of Pinoy Christmas we all miss so much.

Happy, happy Christmas and a healthy and prosperous new year!

The King is Dead

2004-12-14T17:36:00.000+04:00

Fernando Poe, Jr. has a special place in the hearts of many of my family members, including me. We have watched together as a family, many an FPJ movies, with the Panday series being our favorite.

Growing up with two older brothers - my cinematic exposure in my pre-teens were mostly Bruce Lee, Chuck Norris and locally, FPJ movies.

Secondly, he is married to Susan Roces, an Ilongga and student of UNO-R, where my mom and aunts too, went to school.

Thirdly he endorsed San Miguel Beer and embodied the 'iba ang may pinagsamahan' line to a tee.

In an indirect way, his father is the model of The Oblation, my alma mater's famous statue espousing freedom of thought and education.

So his death, just at the end of an unsuccessful political career, has brought me sadness and a bit of nostalgia.

To The King of Filipino movies, ikaw pa rin ang tunay na panday!

God rest your soul and give you eternal peace.

A tree-less world

2004-12-13T13:54:00.000+04:00

Philippine trees have gone. The very few that remains are all struggling to survive what with illegal loggers and the small "kaingin" farmers to contend with. The once green landscape is marred with huge patches of brown, empty, earth.

The country has recently been hit by two huge typhoons, Winnie and Yoyong and flooded a huge part of the lands. People died, homes were destroyed and millions of pesos worth of crops and the hope of an economic recovery drowned with the mud and animal carcasses.

Despite the poverty and economic hardships, many offered what little they have to share with the unfortunate many who were directly hit by the storms. In this season of giving, Filipinos still stand true to the very tenets of being a true Pinoy and that is "bayanihan" - the act of helping a neighbor, a fellowman.

Indeed it takes the gravest of tragedies to see what is most important. In the rush of the capitalist driven Christmas season, it so touches my heart to see many, many ordinary men and women so involved in re-building the nation, offering a helping hand or at least sharing what they have with those who have none.

If only we could apply these good values and traits with the rudiments of daily life, we could help improve our country much more quickly. And perhaps, we can begin the task of repopulating the planet with trees and not leave our children and their children's children such a tree-less world.

A Green Desert

2004-12-13T13:08:00.000+04:00

My thoughts lately is back to my homeland, especially the current state my country is in. With two huge typhoons devastating the nation, it is sad and tragic that our once green archipelago is now virtually barren and desolate.

In strong contrast, here I am working overseas in the midst of the greenest desert I have seen. Arriving here in Febraury 1994, I gazed down from the plane's window to see, for the first time, the boundless Arabian desert. Gazillion masses of minute sands with colours ranging from dark to light brown and light to dark red, depending on the city (also called emirate) you are in. I had this vision of a huge tent where I will be working in, with camels parked around its perimeter and sand touching everything, everywhere.

I was pleasantly surprised to see a thriving metropolis with luscious greenery and a very clean environment. Without thinking, you can imagine yourself to be in any other thriving metropolitan city - without a desert. You have to drive off to the desert if you want to be in the desert. Inland - it is concrete but with much planning because the concrete is laid out with a lot of green.

It is a fact that the UAE government spends millions of dirhams a year to constantly water and care for their plants. Every street is lined with trees and shrubs on both sides plus shrubs and flowering plants in the islands between the lanes. Here in Al Ain, the city is full of roundabouts of varied sizes, that are unique flower gardens in themselves - plus a piece of art or two in the middle.

If a country struggling with water resource especially during the hot summer months can keep their land this green, how much more can a country that has rains half the year and a land that will nurture anything that's sown in it?

We've been doing the easy and the quick for far too long. Perhaps it is high time we start doing what is difficult but right.

Simplicity in Death

2004-12-05T13:56:00.000+04:00

There is no other event in a man's life more unknown to him than his own death. I mean, whatever happens after our last breath we do not really care much about do we? It is strange in the Filipino culture when we give more deference and pomp to the departed when they should have been given that whilst still alive anyway.

This thought I've been pondering on since the Eraserheads dished out that song "Oh honey when I die, dress me up in a coat and tie..." so funny how most Pinoys go puruntong in their everyday life and go off with a tux. At times, much to the financial difficulties of those left behind.

Sheikh Zayed bin Sultan Al Nahyan, president of the United Arab Emirates and ruler of Abu Dhabi (including his hometown, Al Ain) passed away last December 2nd. He was a great ruler and a man who could buy anything he wants. And yet, when he died, his body was wrapped in white cloth, his coffin a simple wooden receptacle of his mortal body witht he UAE's flag as cover. He could easily have had the black mahogany with gold gilded casing and cushioned satin linings that Pinoys often see in funeral homes usually costing a fortune, being a country's ruler yet he embodied simplitcity even in death.

His death echoes in many places and the sadness is more than enough testimony to a life well lived and a nation well founded. More than the trimmings and trappings that go with the passing away of a great man - the parade, the TV specials, the songs and peoms in his honour - I think the simplicity of having a void in one's heart, be they Caucasians, Arabs, Asians like the many Filipinos in this part of the world, is a more satisfactory tribute to the man who shaped this country from tribal and warring emir states. Sheikh Zayed is terribly and sorely missed.

Aw SH _ T!

2004-12-05T13:13:00.000+04:00

The first time I heard it, it was pronounced "Aceed!" like /acid/ with a long /i/ and so it didn't twig. This is my two-year-old spilling ice cream on her shirt in the mall.

Then I heard it again, this time she spilled water by accident on herself while at home drinking. And my mouth stayed open for a few seconds longer than it ought to (giving me a slight jaw ache afterwards) and my eyes turned larger and a bit watery towards the end...of the realisation that my daughter is cussing. Not only that, she was cussing like me. Thoughtless git that I am, I'm a creature of habit and "Aw shit" has been a long time favorite expression of mine be it said in anger, joy, panic, frustration, sorrow, excitement - the works. You name it I have an "Aw shit" for any conceivable situation in the world.

This made me stop and think about cleaning my act a bit, for my daughter's sake. I've now modified it to "Aw shucks" a very lame version of the original which does not really embody the correct semantics of its predecessor. But shucks, I've got to try, right?

So Amber now says "Aw shucks!" like me when she accidentally does something that she shouldn't have. But impishly whispers the previous expletive and laughs like she's had one up on me. And that's coming from a two-year-old girl (she only turned two yesterday)! Shucks!

I knew some way or the other, I'm going to screw up this creature entrusted to me by the workings of biology...Aw shit!

Terrible Two's

2004-11-24T15:43:00.000+04:00

My daughter, Amber, is turning two on December 4th. They say that two-year-olds are often terrible, bad-tempered, hard to control, reactionary and impatient little critters. I'm starting to see that!

From an active, happy, easy-to-manage toddler my little girl has become scared, with tantrums and can get into fits of jumping or screaming or both. She has mastered the art of stealth and invisibility that you can look in the bathroom one minute to see it is all clean and tidy and with just a blink of an eye, you discover this pint-sized person splashing water all over and drenching herself in the process!

So I do not really look forward to these years. But then, she can now express herself more. She shows preference for food, clothing and can even crack up a joke or two. It is amazing how quickly they grow. The silver lining in this particular cloud is that...she'll only be two for a year! That isn't that long now is it? We'll just have to bear it as millions of parents have.

Perhaps it is time to teach her some "bad" words? She had indeed learned "Aw shucks!" from me! I really need to check what I say to make sure she does not pick up more!

Aw shucks!

So Many Deaths

2004-11-20T19:21:00.000+04:00

November 2. Rumour spread quickly like wildfire that HE Sheikh Zayed bin Sultan Al Nahyan, at 82, had passed away. He had been ill and had been at close calls a couple of times before but this time, it seemed that death had finally claimed him.

Everyone was sad and the entire country spent eight days of mourning. It seemed appropritate that he passed on during Ramadan, when Muslims fasted and prayed, because it seemed proper to mourn him in this fashion - fasting, self denial and meditation - for his life was one of incredible leaps and bounds that benefitted not only his people but a lot of those who have chosen to find greener pastures on distant shores.

Not long after that, Yasser Arafat too passed on. Whilst CNN and even BBC was busy talking about the results of the US election, HE Sheikh Zayed got a customary "running" byline on the TV screens reporting his demise. A week after, Arafat got more coverage for his life and death and news on him ran longer.

It seemed a bit odd. Sheikh Zayed, who lived a life of peace, made his people prosper, gave back to the country the wealth and developed the UAE to an outstanding metropolis got nothing more than a running byline or an end or closing report from one of the Arabic stations broadcasting via E-vision. While Arafat, who had spent his life, ok promoting and supporting the Palestinian cause - but had been, according to CNN reports greatly involved in terrorist actions got more air time. Surely he was more prominent as a personality. Indeed he was more popular. But compared to the achievements of one man against the other...?

Makes us realise what our priorities are, even when how we deal with what's notable and what's not. Acts of violence and division will definitely get more air time. Just take a look at the Gulf War. Meanwhile, stories to inspire us, real human beings to take on as role models for our youth go running by at the bottom of the TV screen, more often unread, unknown, unshared.

Sadly, I'd rather watch 'The Apprentice' than the frigging news anyway. "Money, money, money, money..."

Dada died.

2004-11-20T19:10:00.000+04:00

Her name is Brenda Mapa. She was taking up Library Science in UP Diliman and was an active member and later officer of the Center for Nationalist Studies, CNS - an activist organisation in UP Diliman.

Dada as we fondly called her could effortlessly blend in the background of a small square room when she chose to. Her face was very kind and approachable...someone whom you won't be intimidated to ask a question or, the time.

Despite her soft-spoken, almost-a-whisper voice, she could be forceful when needed. I remember one such situation when everyone was arguing and heated comments have been tossed around. She spoke, her voice like a thin spray of cooling ice to put everyone back in perspective. A subtle yet powerful voice of reason.

When a friend emailed me that she had died, I remembered her and suddenly missed her. How sad for someone so young to have your life and energy snuffed out of you. But perhaps, her time has come and she is meant for bigger and better things, not of this world.

They say that 'only the good die young'. Dada was indeed one of the few good ones. I only wish I had the chance to properly say goodbye instead of this lousy blog.

Talata Talatin!

2004-11-01T15:02:00.000+04:00

That's (the title of this blog) thirty-three in Arabic. Tatlumpu't tatlo, trenta y tres, trent trois, san ju san...33. Whew! It seems like a hundred years to today, this age, when I was 16 but now I am actually in this age...it feels good to be 33. I have my family, my health, my sanity (and lack thereof), my job, my friends. They say that double numbers are lucky - like in mahjong you get double-pay, double numbered years also get twice the blessings (and the abd luck!). I have an entire year to actually prove this right (or wrong).

It's the end of the world as we know it....!

2004-11-01T14:56:00.000+04:00

I've just watched "The Day After Tomorrow" and always when I watch films with these theme (Armageddon, Deep Impact, Independence Day, etc.) where man is pitted against a foe so powerful there is not other choice but death or survival of a very (to a point unlucky) few, I'm reminded of human frailty and the future generation.

Truly, I would not wish any natural calamity of such magnitude to ever scare, beset, upset or be experienced by, my daughter. Naturally, I would not wish it on any of my loved ones in our life time. But what if....?

I tossed and turned in my sleep last night just grappling at the idea that such things, though remote and highly unlikely still have a percentage of possibility. Catastrophes like this truly will check if we are made of sterner stuff...and brings us into perspective - the things that really matter and that is life and the lives and well-being of our loved ones.

Good Manners

2004-10-10T13:46:00.000+04:00

It is such a pity if you come from a poor country and would have to find employment abroad as a waitress or a domestic helper. Here in our college cafeteria, most waitresses come from either the Philippines, India or Sri Lanka.

A lot of our Emirati students would order food and shout words like, "More!" or "Cola!" without the magic word, 'please'. Oftentimes, their house help would come from the same countries as these waitresses.

Some argue that perhaps it is the language or lack thereof that makes them speak like cavemen did; mono-syllabic grunts of the basest communication point conveyed i.e. "more" and "cola".

I believe that despite one's lack of English skills, you can still be full of good manners. A smile, a gentle voice, a friendly manner makes all the difference. Filipinos have never been language experts but what we lack for in vocabulary, or even grammatical fluency...we more than make up for our good manners.

In the grand scheme of things, it is good manners that makes you likable and a good person to others and what each individual should strive for.

Creating Her Own Monsters

2004-10-10T13:01:00.000+04:00

My almost two-year-old daughter, Amber had started to get scared. She nows says, "Mommy, Amber afraid" in her small voice that can melt even the hardest of hearts. It is amazing how we create our own monsters sometimes that they begin to overwhelm us even before we could truly comprehend what's scary.

When she was younger, she can walk in a darkened room and not be afraid. Now she insists on turning on the light. What used to be fascinating creatures - dogs, cats, fishes in an aquarium - are now gruesome images too horrible to get near to or touch! We went to eat in a restaurant we've frequented in the past and she's now afraid of the small waterfall/fountain in it while it used to be a favorite object of interest and inspection.

And so, as her fears grow, my own anxiety as a mother doubles. Am I doing the right thing? Should I go seek professional advice? Is there anything I can do to curb her fears? Having researched the Internet and parenting magazines available in our collage's library, I found that there is no other cure for this stage but a lot of love and attention and assurances that everything is ok.

In the end, children outgrow their fears and would soon develop individual ways to deal with them.

Making Friends

2004-10-02T16:17:00.000+04:00

It is true that the closest friends we've got are those that have we've been with for a long time that it's impossible to be enemies with them for long because of all the history we share together.

It is also true that our worst enemies are those people who've known us for a long time.

Being transients in a certain place, you get wary about keeping friends. I used to be close to people I work with but having been in a situation where I have to say goodbye (getting transfered, contracts finished, resigned, relocated) it is a bit comforting not being close to anyone. They can just go and you can shrug your shoulders and say, "We weren't really very close" and just forget about it.

However, it is a lonely place to be without any friends that you can trust and be really close with. Even if you avoid being in a situation where you have no choice but be close to certain people, you eventually wake up and realise that a certain colleague or neighbour had become a really good friend and so the anxiety of having to eventually say goodbye, creeps in our subconscious and we try ever so hard not to think it or pray that we never get to cross it.

There are only three other Filipinos at work that it is difficult not being close. We go to lunch together because that's the only time we get to talking about ourselves and get to know one another better. In spite of my efforts not to get to close or the lack of any effort whatsoever to get close, they are now close friends.

We've shared stories, embarrasing situations, problems together that it is impossible not to relate with their lives and the things each one goes through each day. Being Pinoys, one can't help but feel affinity for fellow Pinoys and look out for one another's welfare. Sure there have been scrapes and awkward moments as well as disagreements but these things eventually led to greater understanding and appreciation of one another.

So now we are the jolly, fantastic four. My fear is one had to go away...and then there is three.